Self-pity is a popular commodity in the WLS community. I often say things like, “You want my pity? Sorry, you can’t have it. I’m saving all of mine for a truly deserving person – like me.” Let’s see how Jema and her dog deal with self-pity in today’s Jema & Alice cartoon, Come to My Pity Party!

* * *

Admit it. You know what self-pity is, at least well enough to know it at a glance as you trudge on and on towards your weight goal. So take a look at this cartoon and see if you recognize anything about it.

In today’s episode of the WLS adventures of Jema and her faithful dog, dark clouds hang over their heads and rain a deluge of self-pity onto Jema’s life. What climate condition started that rain? The cause is an emotional meteorological phenomenon commonly known as envy. Jema has been comparing her WLS journey to everyone else’s and comes out crying because they’re all so successful that she’s a failure in comparison. Or so she believes….

I understand how Jema feels because if I let them, envy and self-pity walk hand in hand through my life. They trample right over the good stuff and cultivate the bad stuff. The kind of stuff that gets me nowhere near my goals.

Jema’s problem today is that she attended a support group meeting and left it thinking evil thoughts about another bandster who’d reported a 50-pound weight loss already. Jema had "only" lost 35 pounds. What was wrong with her? Why was Debbie Doolittle but not Jema blessed with superior band success? Jema’s been a good girl too, in fact, a very hard-working and deserving girl. As our heroine wails in today’s cartoon, “It just isn't fair!” So she throws herself a pity party while Alice plays the violin. And then?

And then, she dries her eyes and moves on. She decides to use her rival’s weight loss success as inspiration instead of punishment, Debbie Doolittle might even have some tips to share at the next support group meeting. Somehow, some way, Jema’s going to find the silver lining in her dark cloud.

OK, party’s over. Back to work!

Click here to see today's cartoon:

https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=1554342973151004146#editor/target=post;postID=8785291681792807452

Love this…thanks Jean! I just got over a pity party…I usually only invite myself!

Im over it and moving on because even though I hit a hiccup with my eating plan, ONLY I, can pick myself up and move right along with my weight loss!

I've lost almost 2/3 of my goal….nothing to be pity-ing about there! ..sometimes I just need to remember that!

I've tried so hard to avoid those parties. Human nature dictates that it is going to happen at times....Looking at this as a life long adventure gives me the courage to not compare or worry about others successes as I will have my own in every way thanks to my sleeve.

It is because of WLS that I even have a life.....

Working on getting over yesterday's personal pity party. Moving right along...

My pity party is not weight related... Is career/education/employment related. Ggggrrrrr

Thank you so much for this article. I had surgery Oct 9th and have already had several putty parties. Glad to see this is normal. Right now, instead of focusing on the weightless, all I can see is I will never be able to have spaghetti or a buritto again. Seems like everyday I am stressing over this.

At one of the pre-op nutrition classes I attended, the dietitian gave us a longlist of foods to avoid - stuff like fried chicken - and I overheard another patient groan and say, "That all seems like a lot to give up."

I think focusing on loss - as in loss of favorite foods - is only human, but not helpful for long-term weight loss success. Unless you have particular medical conditions that prohibit the intake of certain foods, you'll be able to eat a wide variety of good food. It's not the spaghetti that's a problem. The real problem is eating too much of it. Getting to a point where you can enjoy a few bites and then put the fork down is just part of the WLS journey.

today is a better day. Not so hopeless. I know once I will be on real food, things will be better.