Yesterday I got a call from a female VP on my floor who noticed I've lost weight. (I haven't told anyone except my mom, daughters, husband and best friend about my banding.) In my own department, I work with mostly men, and they don't notice or don't care. Only one male coworker noticed I've been bringing my lunch, and I shrugged it off, saying I had to "get healthy, doctor's orders". That was enough for him. But this phone call yesterday threw me off guard.

I guess I should have been prepared for her comment, but I don't see a big difference in the mirror to my own eyes yet. I do acknowledge that I'm wearing my smaller clothes again, but nothing dramatic.

I saw my MIL and BIL yesterday after weeks have gone by, and neither of them noticed any difference. My WLS skeptic husband hasn't said a word about how I look. My younger daughter saw me at Easter and said she could see it in my face, and my BFF and my mom have also both been complimentary. But at work, I wasn't prepared.

Forgive me for not remembering who said this recently, but I read a post on these boards about two days ago that I needed to see. The gist of it was that in the early stages of weight loss, it's a bit of a thrill to answer folks who ask how much you've lost... 20, 30,..60. But for the morbidly obese, one day that answer can become 140, 150.... and the novelty has worn off, and you can feel people doing the math in their heads.

That post got to me. I deliberately didn't tell people at work and extended family about my banding because I didn't want to be watched, to be analyzed, to be quizzed, to be whispered about. But eventually the weight loss itself will trigger questions. And yesterday it did for me.

The VP was nice, and asked if I've been losing weight. "Yeah, a bit. Gotta get healthy - ugh!" "What are you doing?" "Walking the treadmill every day, eating less. It's a drag sometimes, but what can you do?" "Well, good for you. You can tell." "Thanks, that's nice of you."

I hung up the phone and I was literally shaking. It's started. I need to get a game plan so I'm not rattled and caught off-guard like that. There was nothing bad about it at all, but I felt watched, and now I feel like I'm being observed. My instinct was to downplay it and end the conversation. I feel good about that, but it's a matter of time before someone else mentions it I guess.

Interestingly, I have no guilt about not mentioning the band, which I never intend to do, because this 52 pounds all came off before my first band fill this week. So I feel like my band has only been helping me out for the last couple of days. I do walk my treadmill faithfully and I do eat less. That wasn't what unnerved me. It's that somebody noticed my body. As an obese woman, I lived in denial for years that even though I was large, I was somehow invisible. Yet yesterday somebody reminded me that no, they can see me.

And if they noticed I'm smaller, they earlier noticed I was pretty big.

So my first compliment from a stranger left me a little shaken. Can anybody relate?

Beautiful post. And yes...it makes perfect sense. I too just want folks to let it go and for me to stay this size so that it becomes normal and no one thinks about the fat me. I'm actually making it my business to see people who I haven't seen since the hip surgery just to get the shock and comments over with. Then hopefully, we can all move on.

OK folks. I hope you take this in the spirit in which it's intended. I'm still laughing over what my friend said to me yesterday. Like I wrote above, this was a friend I haven't seen in a year so I expected him to make comments about the change in me but what I didn't expect was when he looked hard at me for the upteenth time and said, 'Lizzy, I swear...if I was straight, I'd do you in a hot minute'. I bet no one has gotten that comment yet. LOL!

OK folks. I hope you take this in the spirit in which it's intended. I'm still laughing over what my friend said to me yesterday. Like I wrote above, this was a friend I haven't seen in a year so I expected him to make comments about the change in me but what I didn't expect was when he looked hard at me for the upteenth time and said, 'Lizzy, I swear...if I was straight, I'd do you in a hot minute'. I bet no one has gotten that comment yet. LOL!

THAT IS AWESOME!!!!!

NO GOWALKING I HAVE TO SAY YOU ARE THE ONE AND ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT HAS GOTTEN HIT ON BY A GAY GUY...HE SOUNDS SO SWEET!!! PICK ME UP OFF THE FLOOR LOLRH!!!

Thanks, mikee. You inspire me with every post. You guys are all the best!

I can relate. I didn't tell anybody at work (except one of the nurses just in case of emergency) and thought twice about telling my BFF basically for the same reasons. I didn't want the constant observations. I know it will come and i will get questions but, I think you handled it very well. You told the truth. That is what I planned to do. You are absolutely right the band is a tool for constant accountability to keep us focused. We can still override it and revert back to our old ways.. On Easter Sunday my niece took a picture of me with the dog and posted it on Facebook. It was not very flattering and I looked huge. I was comforted by the fact that in a few months I can post a new and improved picture with less of me. So don't worry about people remembering that you were a big girl. Just let them be amazed.

Good to hear of your success and keep up the good work.

"I think it's hard to hear compliments sometimes because they can almost feel like an insult to our former selves. They say "Oh you look so good, your face is so much thinner" and you hear "you looked horrible before and had a fat face." Just remember 90% of the time that's not what people are saying."

I seriously struggle with this on a daily basis. My ears hear a compliment but my crazy brain hears a slam about my former physique, regardless of the intention. I am fairly close to my goal, and I cringe any time someone asks how weight I have lost. Don't get me wrong , I am thrilled with my sleeve. My weight was always a private topic and I'm not sure I will ever get used to people discussing it with me.

I tried to explain this to my husband, but he doesn't get it. I am glad others on this forum understand.

I have lost a lot of weight before as many of us have...I actually became bitter because i was treated so differently. Why am I ok to talk to now? I'm the same person I was before? I don't get it. An associate even told me "I liked you better when you were fat" after turned him down. Its amazing how different 1. People see you, and 2. How you're treated.

I like to think Im older and wiser now and my truth now? I could give 2 $#@ts what anyone says or thinks. Their opinion is none of my business, just as my decisions are none of theirs.

I'm days away from my insurance approval and ready to set my surgery date. Im ready and waiting. I will have no bitterness this time around...only happiness for my health and quality of life. Im not aiming to please anyone but myself & if my friends and family are with me...all the better. If not, life has a way of working itself out. I wish everyone the best and to embrace happiness instead of reaction. This is my plan.

You sound so much like me. I weighed 200 lbs in 1998 so I started taking Phen Fen. I lost 40 lbs and my husband, who for the past 10 years of our marriage was rather cold and distant, wanted to be intimate. I said, "WTF? I wasn't !@#$worthy until now? No thanks!" He weighed 300 lbs but I loved and wanted him the same since the day we married. I now weigh 228 lbs but am with someone who adores me no matter what my size is. I am at a place where I know losing the weight is for me and not anyone else. If people ask, I will tell them about the surgery because I am a very down to earth and open person. If someone doesn't recognize me after I lose the weight I will take it as a HUGE compliment because I am not particularly happy with the way I look now but I do love myself, I am worthy, I am ready and I don't give a flying !@#$ if people don't like me. Wisdom with age gives that to me.

another side to wls to consider is how to deal with the comments. it was nice to see how so many dealt with comments. I am pretty quite about my personal life and don't think I will tell anyone. I think my game plan would be the hard work, high protein, low carb approach. Only time will tell.