deener0628

Hello! I am JUST beginning my journey and am here in Apple Valley. How far along are you (still need referral, getting ready for surgery, etc)?

You sound so much like me. I weighed 200 lbs in 1998 so I started taking Phen Fen. I lost 40 lbs and my husband, who for the past 10 years of our marriage was rather cold and distant, wanted to be intimate. I said, "WTF? I wasn't !@#$worthy until now? No thanks!" He weighed 300 lbs but I loved and wanted him the same since the day we married. I now weigh 228 lbs but am with someone who adores me no matter what my size is. I am at a place where I know losing the weight is for me and not anyone else. If people ask, I will tell them about the surgery because I am a very down to earth and open person. If someone doesn't recognize me after I lose the weight I will take it as a HUGE compliment because I am not particularly happy with the way I look now but I do love myself, I am worthy, I am ready and I don't give a flying !@#$ if people don't like me. Wisdom with age gives that to me.

Hello everyone. I am at the very beginning of my weight loss journey. I go to the information seminar tomorrow night. I only joined recently and have enjoyed reading through the various forums (payment for weight loss surgery, Depression and Bariatric Surgery, What is the real reason I became obese, etc) but nothing intrigued me more or prompted me to offer my two cents until this particular post (the one I quoted). Kindle, I am right there with you! I have been obese for most of my life and have never known who I was looking at when I looked in the mirror. Recently I had my picture taken and I felt I had been put in front of one of those weird carnival mirrors. Who is that big girl with the confused look on her face staring back at me?! I pull my stomach up or look at the fat on my arms and wonder, what the !@#$ is this? I am 45 years old and this didn't happen overnight but I have gained the most over the past few years. I look forward to my WLS, planning on the sleeve, and look forward to dressing the woman who is me but hasn't found me yet.I have heard of the clinical term body dysmorphia but only as a term for people who suffer from bulimia or anorexia because the vision they see in the mirror is much fatter than what they really are.Is it possible to have body dysmorphia on the other side of the spectrum? I am not as physically active as I want to be and recently took up walking but I found I wanted to start jogging, only to be slowed down by by my lumbering body that seemed to stand still as I became more and more out of breath. I have to wonder what I will see when I look at myself after my weight loss. At 5'3" I have never weighed less than 140 in high school, 170 as a young adult and 200+ when I reached 30. For those of you have reached the other side of your weight loss journey, I commend you for the courage to make the life altering change of losing weight and becoming the healthiest best you can be. I look forward to joining you.

I just began my research for the sleeve but I want to make sure I have local support, I am in Apple Valley, CA too.