Support YOURSELF!

I read several WLS boards daily and I'm truly amazed at the helplessness and lack of power some of us have. I've been there myself, having dealt with seasonal depression, early childhood abuse and growing up with a mom who had Borderline Personality Disorder. In my 20s depression reared it's ugly head in a big way and the weight gain started. I'd weighed around 150 and at 5'5" that was close to ideal. I finished my 3rd decade weighing about 225, despite getting psychological support.

In my 40s after getting up to 260, I sought counseling to deal with unresolved issues with my mom, who had passed away 10 years before.

This helped me deal with relationship issues I had on many levels with pretty much everyone in my life, and I dieted my way down to 190. I felt in control and powerful. That was a great feeling.

Today I read a post laying out strategies for success in losing weight. It listed a few good ideas and some that were a bit impractical, but the point I got out of it was in order to succeed, we must support ourselves; get the trigger foods out of sight, etc, but I think it missed a key point. It's not about hiding bad foods...it's about keeping healthy foods available in the moment we are being tempted and taking back our power over temptation. This is where I've been missing the boat recently, a technique I know works, but in my blue mood, had forgotten.

The strategy I've used is positive affirmation. You visualize how you'll feel, look, walk 20, 30, 40 lb lighter and create an inner dialog of positive statements:

I'm enjoying shopping for clothing one size smaller.

It feels great to take a walk without my knees hurting so much.

This chicken Greek salad tastes so fresh and it's providing my body with nutrients and Protein to support my healthy lifestyle.

You create a positive environment within your mind to support your goal of being healthier. You replace the negative inner dialog, you KNOW what I'm talking about, with positive self talk. It's a habit you develop over time, usually about 6 weeks. It's a known fact that thinking positive thoughts while developing a new habit helps in establishing the desired behavior. You focus on the new behaviors, not on overcoming the old behavior. If you find yourself berating, chastising or otherwise having a negative inner dialog, you stop, breathe and replace that dialog with a positive affirmation: I am worthy, I am powerful, I am in control and move on.

I did this throughout my band journey, including the 3 month supervised term and especially during the year I was struggling with the complications. In the last few months, I'd let the negative self talk sneak in...the fear of regain, feeling vulnerable, powerless and depressed. I forgot the mantra "If you believe it, you'll see it" and I did...30 lb of regain since September.

So go ahead and hide the Cookies, better yet, leave them at the store, but don't forget to visualize yourself 1, 2 or 3 sizes smaller, congratulate yourself for every accomplishment and forgive a misstep. You are worthy, you are powerful, you are in control.

Bandarella????

I needed to read this..... Thanks. For years I called myself "the FAT girl," I referred to a women's clothing store where I shopped as "Dress Barn for COWS," I hung "FAT" pictures on the refrigerator instead of finding the one or two pictures taken when I was at a decent weight. Belittling myself day after day..... But I have recently been looking in the mirror and admiring myself. I looked at my wrists this morning (yes, kind of weird, but my wrists) and thought how I haven't seen them this thin in decades. I mentioned in another post how I had seen my butt in a mirror unexpectedly, and didn't realize it was MY BUTT. You are 100% right..... Positive affirmations are in HEALTHYNEWME's life NOW!!!!!! Thanks again!

I needed to read this..... Thanks. For years I called myself "the FAT girl," I referred to a women's clothing store where I shopped as "Dress Barn for COWS," I hung "FAT" pictures on the refrigerator instead of finding the one or two pictures taken when I was at a decent weight. Belittling myself day after day..... But I have recently been looking in the mirror and admiring myself. I looked at my wrists this morning (yes, kind of weird, but my wrists) and thought how I haven't seen them this thin in decades. I mentioned in another post how I had seen my butt in a mirror unexpectedly, and didn't realize it was MY BUTT. You are 100% right..... Positive affirmations are in HEALTHYNEWME's life NOW!!!!!! Thanks again!

not weird about your wrist. I look at my ankles. they are the skinniest, boniest, part of my body. lol. I love just rubbing them and looking at them. it's been awhile since they have been covered with edema for many years. yeah ankles.

Great post! I have benefitted from choosing myself -- that has been really big for me. But now I am going to work the Support Myself angle. I am a supportive person, by nature. What does it take to support myself, each and every day?

One of the things I'm doing is to assess my mood, pain level and the general house atmosphere (live with grand kids) to determine how my day will go. I have SI joint dysfunction and spinal stenosis and a knee that is bone on bone, so evaluating my pain level is important. I can't take NSAIDs in pill form because of the esophageal damage, so I use the children's liquid form, which is pretty pricey for 5-6 doses. I only take it 1-2 times per week. I also have to take into account my sleep quality. On a scale of -5 to +5 I rate each factor.

This morning I noted:

Calm household: kids were busy getting out the door, cheerful, gave me hugs❤️ +5

Pain level: it's a steady 5 -2

Sleep: bit of a rough night...nagging pain in back and knee woke me several times. 0 (neutral)

My mood: good! I'm looking forward to seeing a friend today. She's having a rough time, so for me it's good to focus on her needs. +5

So today is an +8 on a scale of -20 to + 20; not bad. I need to manage pain, pre bedtime to give me a better morning tomorrow. I can't take sleep aids because I take meds at night for arrhythmias and they interact.

I'm a naturally analytical person, so this method helps me keep positive throughout the day. I'm working towards a positive outcome for the day. I also assess how I'm doing in the evening much the same way.