I'm exactly two weeks from my surgery 1/6/14.

I've noticed that the closer I get, the more "crazy" my thought process towards it becomes.

"Maybe I don't really need this."

"This is irreversible and I love my stomach!"

"I know lots of people said they have had it done... but what if they aren't real?"

Yes, I need it.
Yes, it's irreversible, but my stomach is causing a lot of problems. Begone, vile demon.
Yes, I know you people are real.

It's all anxiety and stress (wheeee holidays) but logic doesn't stop the panicky thoughts.


Have any of you gone through or are going through anything similar?

Did you do anything to relieve the stress?

Any suggestions or helpful/hopeful comments?

Are you SURE you're real? *eyes you suspiciously*

I assure you're I'm very real and one day away from surgery . I've had all those thoughts plus:

1. What if I am that rare person who they put under and I don't come back?

2. What if I'm miserable and end up gorging myself because I can't change my ways and I rupture my belly?

3. How could I have let myself get into the position to need WLS? Is it revenge for prank calling Jenny Craig with my bff when we were 13? (We'd call and pretend to have food in our mouths and go, "OMG, I CAN'T STOP EATING! HELP ME JENNY!" Then hang up laughing. )

4. If i'm strong enough to do the pre opt diet, shouldn't I be strong enough to change WITHOUT the sleeve?

5. What if I back out, then I decide later I want to have the surgery because I can't lose on my own? I'll probably never get approved again because I wasted everyone's time and resources.

LoL, believe me, you are NOT alone. What I've been doing to help destress is venting to my husband and parents, coming on here, reading books, watching A LOT of Netflix, trying to focus some on work, watching youtube success videos, writing a diary about my feelings and I've got a binder I'm using to chronicle my journey and keep all the recipes I'll need for Stage Three (mushy stage) and Stage Four (regular food). I've also been reading a lot of "The World According to Eggface"

Being in our mid sixties, and having dieted all our lives, my husband and I decided to do the sleeve as our health worsened, keeping us chained to our comfy chairs instead of having fun and living. We both have diabetes, I have asthma and a knee replacement so walking is hard, we both have high blood pressure, and he has a heart stent for a heart blockage, neuropathy, can hardly walk due to prior back surgery, and sleep apnea - using oxygen.

I share this with you because if you remain overweight, this is what you face as you get older, which will definitely shorten your lifespan. Ten years ago when we began the gastric seminars, if they had had the sleeve, we would have opted for it and been healthier today. I hope that you think of these things as you make the final decisions as to whether or not to have surgery. Best of luck!

Haha! Yes I'm real and I'm almost 8 weeks post op. I've lost 30 lbs since I got home after 2 stalls and I had all of those thoughts. I assure you I don't have any regrets and I feel better even though I still have a ways to go.

You'll do fine dear..don't worry we've ALL been there.

Luck to you and everyone still pre-op prayers up!!

K

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Edited December 23, 201312 yr by MsK1972

Oh honey, I am having surgery a week from tomorrow and I am full blown CRAZY! The preop diet is a bitch + I am planning a Christmas Eve gathering for my family complete with lots of food (that I can't have). I am a weepy, hungry mess. I can't wait to have surgery...I really wish it was tomorrow so I wouldn't have to deal with all the Christmas hustle and bustle.

The absolute BEST thing about the way my approval and surgery went down is that I was approved on a Tuesday or Wednesday, and was sleeved the following Thursday ~8 or 9 days. There was really so little time to freak out that even driving to the hospital didn't feel real. I got my 5 days pre-op liquid diet in, and that was basically that.

I had a few moments while waiting for the approval that all of those thoughts ran through my head. Then I convinced myself I wouldn't be approved. So when I was? I was incredibly, totally shocked. I wasn't on the boards yet either so I didn't have that side of it, but I also didn't have the support.

Thank you so much for all of your responses. I'm really glad that I'm not alone in this. I've felt very alone with these crazy thoughts. No one around me seems to understand where I'm coming from. Please keep sharing... this helps!

And this one made me cry... this has really given a big dose of "SHUT UP!" to the crazies:

Being in our mid sixties, and having dieted all our lives, my husband and I decided to do the sleeve as our health worsened, keeping us chained to our comfy chairs instead of having fun and living. We both have diabetes, I have asthma and a knee replacement so walking is hard, we both have high blood pressure, and he has a heart stent for a heart blockage, neuropathy, can hardly walk due to prior back surgery, and sleep apnea - using oxygen.

I share this with you because if you remain overweight, this is what you face as you get older, which will definitely shorten your lifespan. Ten years ago when we began the gastric seminars, if they had had the sleeve, we would have opted for it and been healthier today. I hope that you think of these things as you make the final decisions as to whether or not to have surgery. Best of luck!

One of the odder thoughts I had pre-op was feeling guilty as if my stomach was a bad pet who was oblivious to the fact that it was about to be euthanized.

Another, hopefully more useful thought I had, was with regard to the permanence and how it would be limiting my ability to enjoy food - something that I felt delivered significant pleasure pre-op. My eventual reasoning for coming to terms with this was that the joy of food was only fueling my weight and associated health problems - problems that were severely restricting my ability to enjoy life overall and would only cause greater hinderances as I aged further.

As you can tell from all the replies, you are not alone. We all go through this phase. After all, it's a major decision, not to mention the social stigma that some may feel.

I'm one of those people that always has a backup plan for everything. So having the sleeve was the hardest decision I've ever made, because there's no going back and having my stomach put back in. :-)

All I can say is the stress, pain and lifestyle changes I've gone through are completely worth it.

One of the odder thoughts I had pre-op was feeling guilty as if my stomach was a bad pet who was oblivious to the fact that it was about to be euthanized.

I've had a very similar thought. I've been telling people, "They're going to cut out my most beloved organ!" And I've got this sense of betrayal that comes with that thought. Stupid, but there it is. And it goes along with your next statement about limiting the enjoyment of food. My biggest problem is that I'm not over-enjoying food. My stupid PCOS is killing me and this is my last resort. Yes, I'm overweight, but not what I've been trained to think as "overweight enough" for this surgery. (yes, another bout of the crazies in action). So, it adds to my feeling of betrayal and it being unnecessary... even though I've learned that the bottom of the stomach produces a bunch of hormones that contribute to insulin resistance and PCOS.

Bah, see what I mean, I just bat myself back and forth. But knowing that this is usual... even normal... is making me feel so much better. (especially that reality punch LindafromFlorida gave... ouch)

I'm one of those people that always has a backup plan for everything. So having the sleeve was the hardest decision I've ever made, because there's no going back and having my stomach put back in. :-)

I never even thought about this. I'm this way as well. Back ups for back ups. I expect everything to fail (you won't be disappointed!) but there's nothing left after this for me (which I have thought about). This has to work and that's scary. I'm just trusting to God... kind of funny that most of us only do this when we have no other choice.

Thanks for the replies everyone. I love this.

I am a newbie to the site, and this is actually my first post. I am so incredibly glad I stumbled upon it because even now I have these boughts of "crazies." I just finished my required three month dietitian supervised diet last week, and will be seeing my surgeon for our final meeting this morning for my insurance submission.

I have had so many of these same thoughts and fears and jumping back and forth as many of you have. I considered the surgery once before about four years ago and backed out because I was just not committed. I'm glad I didn't go through it at that time because I was most definetly in a different place in life, but I am quite anxious about it now.

I'm glad to know that I am not the only one thinking or having thought these things.

"They can't put my stomach back. What if I regret it after the surgery? What if I am allergic to the anesthesia? I might die of dehydration." I'm sure many other silly things as well, that are true fears at one point. It's very refreshing to know that I am not alone in this.

kmiller, I'm 100% with you on the relief. I even tried sharing these thoughts with my husband and he just didn't understand and thought I was being silly. It's an incredible weight off (hah!) to know this is a familiar road to a lot of people and that they are nice enough to let us know we're not alone.