When I undertook this journey almost a year ago, it wasn't just about weight loss for me. I have taken a good long look at myself; who I have become. I didn't like some things about myself and so I set about changing some of my ways. So along with changing my lifestyle as far as eating and exercising I also worked on my character, attitude and the way I handle situations. I viewed certain people in my life as toxic, and they are to a degree still toxic, but I had to look at how I contributed to that toxicity...and admit that I did indeed contribute. I believe we are all a work in progress, no matter how old, there is always room for improvement. I like the me I am becoming inside and out. My attitude adjustment hasn't changed certain people in my life but it has changed how I let them affect me....and WOW what a difference. I am much happier. And I while I can't preach it to those that I wish would change with me, I hope to lead by example and maybe those toxic people will become less toxic and become someone I can call friend/sister/etc again.

How about YOU? Did anyone else work on more than the outside?

Weight loss will build your own self confidence, and general over all well being, self respect, an overwhelming feeling of accomplishment...more out going, and a positive attitude all of which is contagious to others....

I cannot begin to explain how much my social life has increased...people pop up out of nowhere and talk and treat you as though you have always been friends...

Some days I can't get through my workout at the gym!

YES...it is all thanks to the band and what it can do for us in more ways imaginable....

In spite of other peoples lack of faith, and negativity in this weight loss surgery, I LOVE MY NEW LIFE!!!

Edited December 18, 201312 yr by B-52

I am not this person to pity anymore. i am so glad i don't have to listen to one more lecture on what i was doing to myself. Lordy be i knew what i was doing to myself better than anyone did. as i evolved so did the ppl around me. their pity has turned to respect. I LIKE IT!

I am not this person to pity anymore. i am so glad i don't have to listen to one more lecture on what i was doing to myself. Lordy be i knew what i was doing to myself better than anyone did. as i evolved so did the ppl around me. their pity has turned to respect. I LIKE IT!

Definitely a life changer....loosing weight is only the tip of the ice berg....

My biggest change is the fierceness that has revealed itself as my weight drops off. I'm not living so fearful anymore. I'm now doing things that really were out of my comfort zone nine months ago...and each new experience builds even more self-confidence. I love this unexpected benefit to weight loss.

Also, people are seriously much nicer to me now than before. It's interesting to experience this. Favors are done, people go the extra mile in terms of service...whereas before I was dissed immediately.

Edited December 19, 201312 yr by parisshel

i am more me than i have been in a long while.....

i walk with my head held up (instead of down or not looking people in the eye)

and hub said i am oozing sexy with my confidence.....yeah, that works..

at work, some people find me (my no longer the happy go lucky super fat obese push over woman) not as fun..and things and people that i let bother/upset me.....no longer do....why bother, those/things have no control over me anymore......but let me say, i am who i am......

happier, healthier and living my life as it is intended....

Parisshel...I have noticed people treat me different too...especially strangers in public...holding the door, a smile, a friendly comment etc...how does it make you feel that people treat you differently? Personally, I enjoy it, BUT have to say it makes me a little sad that people can't treat people that nice regardless of looks....

Parisshel...I have noticed people treat me different too...especially strangers in public...holding the door, a smile, a friendly comment etc...how does it make you feel that people treat you differently? Personally, I enjoy it, BUT have to say it makes me a little sad that people can't treat people that nice regardless of looks....

Oh, I'm unsurprised that people treat others differently based on weight, etc. So I'm not angry with them. I'm sure I'm no saint in that regard, either...but one thing I know is that I'll never forgot what it feels like/felt like to be way too large for society.

(Let me note that I live in a culture where there are few overweight people and have always felt like an outlier here in Paris. It is not the same when I travel back to the USA where being overweight is not such an aberrant condition. Here in Paris, life as an overweight woman is extremely unpleasant and people will make openly-rude remarks to me...well, less so now.)

What makes me sad is that I will never recover the time I could have had moving through life in a more-physically pleasant looking exterior...so much of my personality has been formed based on how the world reacted to me. I sense I developed certain personality traits to deflect or even pre-empt how others were going to treat me. I know that sometimes I was kind of unpleasant and mean from the start when dealing with strangers, because I knew that they were going to treat me badly based on my looks. Or, alternately, I was too sweet and unimposing because I felt I had no right ask for or expect a certain level or service...

I lost a lot of my true voice to my fatness. As a previous poster writes, I'm recovering, or rather discovering now my true essence.

I'm recovering, or rather discovering now my true essence.

I love this. We are all discovering new ways of being every day. I never want to stop discovering!

I have a bit of a different twist on this thread. I have always been me. Those that know me, know I have not changed much over the years. My weight has changed from the days when I was a skinny little kid, and a skinny little (5'0 little) teenager. As I grew older and my life changed I married young (17) and gave birth to my children (3 of them over 9 years) My weight went steadily higher.

Unlike most people might be, I wasn't embarrassed of my size. Even if my Mother in law (who at the time was working for Vera Wang) called me Gordita. It didn't phase me she worked with anorexic models that I could pick my teeth with, and I found them no more attractive then said used tooth pick with a bit of meat hanging from it.

My weight and my size became my power and helped me find my voice.

As a young girl I felt that people didn't see me for ME they saw me for what they thought I was or should be. I felt objectified and stereo typed. Many times I would keep my mouth shut out of fear that people would take even further notice of me and make me more uncomfortable. As I grew heavier it was easier to let people see I had brains and not just a pretty package. I was more then the wrapping I had content too.

For the longest time I hid behind my weight, people use the expression "throw your weight around" and I did. Suddenly as an overweight adult I thought I had found respect, I could speak my mind and I could achieve the things I didn't when people just wrote me off as just another Barbie doll.

It has taken me a little over 20 years of being overweight and finally obese to understand that it wasn't and isn't weight that I needed to insulate myself with. I needed to find the confidence to believe in myself and present that face to the world around me. I have my days, and I still struggle with it occasionally.

Thinking that each pound lost makes me that much more vulnerable, when the truth is that each pound lost brings me that much closer to the freedom of truly being ME.

Fantastic thread! Now that I'm no longer tamping down my feelings with food I am able to follow through with emotions -- leading me to understand and act on what I really want or don't want. I'm letting the people around me know what I'm thinking. It's early days for me but I am feeling a little more comfortable being out in the world -- less shy and no longer as worried about how people may be judging me. Who cares? Most of all I have this knowledge that something big is happening in my life, that I am shedding not only weight but a lot of behaviors that don't serve me, like putting myself down or not standing up for myself, always going last. I'm choosing myself first. There are big changes ahead and I'm excited to see what direction my life will take. I was always worried about what I might do if I really was empowered. I'm not afraid of that now -- whatever it is will be good and true.

Fantastic thread! Now that I'm no longer tamping down my feelings with food I am able to follow through with emotions -- leading me to understand and act on what I really want or don't want. I'm letting the people around me know what I'm thinking. It's early days for me but I am feeling a little more comfortable being out in the world -- less shy and no longer as worried about how people may be judging me. Who cares? Most of all I have this knowledge that something big is happening in my life, that I am shedding not only weight but a lot of behaviors that don't serve me, like putting myself down or not standing up for myself, always going last. I'm choosing myself first. There are big changes ahead and I'm excited to see what direction my life will take. I was always worried about what I might do if I really was empowered. I'm not afraid of that now -- whatever it is will be good and true.

I was molested from age 2 to 14. Physical and emotional abuse from rekatives. Not a pretty story. Without even thinking about it I ate to stay fat to be unattractive so the opposite sex wouldn't find me attractive and once the images and emotions were buried way down deep I was relatively heavy but not to the point of being obese. But I found myself attracted to boys and men and would flirt with them but only with a barrier between me and them. I worked in a drugstore and the counter along with my weight kept them at bay. I was in control. My past buried and forgotten I got married but couldnt do all things a married couple should do and one of those he was a man he couldnt be trusted. Well I couldn't get pregnant (weight I suppose-had endometriosis before anyone even knew the name of it). We adopted two young girls 21 mos old and 34 mos old. Upon raising them I became frightened about them for them and of them. Feelings of the past came rushing back. Just feelings I wasn't sure why or what was making me feel this way. I was a terrible mother or so I thought. After years when I was 30 I finally went to see a dr about my painful endometriosis.

About 5 years later I got an hysterectomy but after the first visit I also saw an endocriniligist that told me of my diabetes and also informed me of my depression. He admitted me that day to the mental ward that afternoon. So today 33 years later after realizing why I was always more comfortable heavy; why I always seemed yelling and screaming. The truth of my abuse came out throught my psychiatrist Teddy. Love that man to death. Anyhow that was many years ago. I was in 97 diagnosed also with bipolar rapid cycling. So the fat part lasted for over 30 years b/c by that time my eating had become habit. Feelings of inadequacies and alot of selfdoubt and thinking everyone was judging me kept me at a standstill. But my children and husband stood by my side through every tantrum and screaming insults lashing out to hurt because I was in physical and emotional pain. Self absorbed. Today banded and losing weight I feel a little better. I did stand on the grave of one of the persons that abused me and ask God to forgive him. The shackles of hatred and emotional turmoil fell off my back the second I said it. I have been steadily getting better. I take quite a few meds to control my bipolar and diabetes, low thyroid and other conditions which keeps me emotionally stable most of the time. But losing weight now doesn't scare me. I'm stronger and that's due in part of forgiving but also to my husband who has done sooooo much to push me to be more open and honest and work at what I wanted to do with no reprecussions of my painful years I'm sure for him as well as my kids. My girls now 35 and 36 understand in part about what happened and bipolar on top of that. Wounds are still somewhat lightly covered but so am I at times. I hope I didn't bore you. I just felt I had to tell my story of defeat and victory. I'm not there yet but I am looking at as a positive move now and looking forward to the day I'm on maintainence. I may always be a little off balance but I try to push myself making small victories with my self esteem. Im positive I'll make it. I'm 63 now so maybe by 65 I'll be a little more forgiving to myself.

Donna, Thank you for sharing your story. You are an amazing brave and strong lady! Your story has touched me as I am sure it will touch many others.

I hope every day is a new victory for you and that every day brings you peace and hope for each new day.

Donna, Thank you for sharing your story. You are an amazing brave and strong lady! Your story has touched me as I am sure it will touch many others.

I hope every day is a new victory for you and that every day brings you peace and hope for each new day.

Thankyou Lisa. I don't consider myself very brave or strong. I have alot of baggage that I carry and it keeps me from doing alot. But before I get too much older I hope I reach a point where I can stand proud and unafraid of all the past events. I've seen therapists and spent years in mental hospitals and I get to a point where I feel better but with bipolar the mood swings keep me in an off balance position and that won't go away but is manageable.

Donna, Thank you for sharing your story. You are an amazing brave and strong lady! Your story has touched me as I am sure it will touch many others.

I hope every day is a new victory for you and that every day brings you peace and hope for each new day.

Thankyou Lisa. I don't consider myself very brave or strong. I have alot of baggage that I carry and it keeps me from doing alot. But before I get too much older I hope I reach a point where I can stand proud and unafraid of all the past events. I've seen therapists and spent years in mental hospitals and I get to a point where I feel better but with bipolar the mood swings keep me in an off balance position and that won't go away but is manageable.

I'm sure you don't feel brave or strong but donna...you are that and more. I am in awe of you.

Wow...I love the diversity of responses on here...thank you all for sharing! And Donna, Godspeed....you are on the right track, no doubt, and I am so glad that you seems to have a wonderful support system in your husband and daughters; truly unconditional love.

I was molested from age 2 to 14. Physical and emotional abuse from rekatives. Not a pretty story. Without even thinking about it I ate to stay fat to be unattractive so the opposite sex wouldn't find me attractive and once the images and emotions were buried way down deep I was relatively heavy but not to the point of being obese. But I found myself attracted to boys and men and would flirt with them but only with a barrier between me and them. I worked in a drugstore and the counter along with my weight kept them at bay. I was in control. My past buried and forgotten I got married but couldnt do all things a married couple should do and one of those he was a man he couldnt be trusted. Well I couldn't get pregnant (weight I suppose-had endometriosis before anyone even knew the name of it). We adopted two young girls 21 mos old and 34 mos old. Upon raising them I became frightened about them for them and of them. Feelings of the past came rushing back. Just feelings I wasn't sure why or what was making me feel this way. I was a terrible mother or so I thought. After years when I was 30 I finally went to see a dr about my painful endometriosis.

About 5 years later I got an hysterectomy but after the first visit I also saw an endocriniligist that told me of my diabetes and also informed me of my depression. He admitted me that day to the mental ward that afternoon. So today 33 years later after realizing why I was always more comfortable heavy; why I always seemed yelling and screaming. The truth of my abuse came out throught my psychiatrist Teddy. Love that man to death. Anyhow that was many years ago. I was in 97 diagnosed also with bipolar rapid cycling. So the fat part lasted for over 30 years b/c by that time my eating had become habit. Feelings of inadequacies and alot of selfdoubt and thinking everyone was judging me kept me at a standstill. But my children and husband stood by my side through every tantrum and screaming insults lashing out to hurt because I was in physical and emotional pain. Self absorbed. Today banded and losing weight I feel a little better. I did stand on the grave of one of the persons that abused me and ask God to forgive him. The shackles of hatred and emotional turmoil fell off my back the second I said it. I have been steadily getting better. I take quite a few meds to control my bipolar and diabetes, low thyroid and other conditions which keeps me emotionally stable most of the time. But losing weight now doesn't scare me. I'm stronger and that's due in part of forgiving but also to my husband who has done sooooo much to push me to be more open and honest and work at what I wanted to do with no reprecussions of my painful years I'm sure for him as well as my kids. My girls now 35 and 36 understand in part about what happened and bipolar on top of that. Wounds are still somewhat lightly covered but so am I at times. I hope I didn't bore you. I just felt I had to tell my story of defeat and victory. I'm not there yet but I am looking at as a positive move now and looking forward to the day I'm on maintainence. I may always be a little off balance but I try to push myself making small victories with my self esteem. Im positive I'll make it. I'm 63 now so maybe by 65 I'll be a little more forgiving to myself.

Donna, I'm so glad you told your story -- you have conquered so much in your life. Forgiveness is such a powerful act. I could picture you there on the grave of one of your abusers releasing that pain. And I love what you said about forgiving yourself, too. Here's to that -- loving ourselves and forgiving ourselves so we can live our lives fully. Best wishes!