I was diagnosed with depression when I was 11, and haven't taken any medication for it since, although I probably need it. I've been dealing with it ok by myself, but lately I think it's been getting worse. I've got NO energy (not really surprising, tbh), and absolutely no motivation. It's a herculean effort to get up and get ready in the morning, I can't pay attention in class, and forget about homework. I get headaches every day, all I ever want to do is sleep, and I've started getting leg cramps almost constantly.

My suicidal thoughts have gotten worse, along with my cutting.

And I haven't even lost 10 pounds!

I can't go to a doctor. I'm 18 and live with my mom, who doesn't believe that mental illness is a real thing, and won't pay for any kind of treatment. I'm a college student with no job and no car.

I don't know what to do.

Please take care of yourself! I learned this lesson the very hard way and ended up in the hospital for eleven days with mdd with psychosis. I let my depression get that out of control. Nami is a good support group if you can talk to your mom about it. Your in my thoughts.. Please take care!

Rainbow you know depression is real. We all go through hormonal changes after this surgery but for you with depression it is amplified. Please reach out to free clinics in your area and friends you can trust. Trust me when I say that your family cares they just don't know what to do so they either ignore the obvious or freak out because they can't "fix" it. I've been there and want to apologize to you for being the silent family member in my own circumstance. We care. Your family cares. If you can't talk to your mom please reach out to someone. You have other family members. Accept help.

Please keep us updated on how you are doing