I feel the need to stir up the hornet's nest today, been too quiet. I have noticed lately a lot of people (typically newer folks, but some further down the road, too) saying they just want to "be normal." Then they go on to say they want to eat whatever they want, often modifying it with "small amounts," "in moderation," or other caveats. Also, it seems that "whatever they want" always seems to include junk foods, cake, chips, or soda or other high calorie/low nutrition items. You rarely see a post about someone wanting to eat "normally" so they can feast on asparagus and Brussel sprouts.

Here is my question to everyone:

Discounting teenage boys, do you really know anyone naturally thin that eats that type of food whenever they want?

Now, I don't claim to know everything, but personally I don't know any thin people (who have always been at a normal weight) that eat crap on a regular basis, in moderation or not. The thin people I know think about what they eat. They have Lean Cuisines for lunch or a salad, if they have dessert (rarely) they share it, they never eat in secret or binge or hide food, and they usually have some form of regular exercise, even if it's just walking the dog. They have smaller portions, and yes, they will enjoy big meals at family occasions and holidays, but those are events that occur only a few times a year.

I know we'll have some folks answer back that their whoever eats whatever they want and is thin, but really, what do they eat? Do they eat bags of chips, several sodas every day, fried food, piles of mashed potatoes or french fries? Do they go through a bag of Cookies in a sitting?

So, food for thought - what exactly is normal eating and are our expectations appropriate?

You hit the nail on the head! "Normal" eating is something that we have not done for a long time. Normal eating is not stuffing. Not craving every day. Normal eating is not putting food at the top of every gathering, event, party. Normal eating is not sneaky eating. Normal eating is not an addictive behavior.

I associate normal eating with serving sizes and keeping up with you consume.. if it says serving size is 4 Cookies, then I hope to eat only two and I hope to only do this occasionally.. I track everything so if I do eat those 2 cookies it will be part of my allowance.. Once we are at goal, i hope to be able to follow the sayijng "everything is ok in moderation" But I will probably always track and weigh.. I dont want my weight to go the wrong way and not understand why.

So I have posted before about my co-worker who sits next to me. He is one of the exceptions. He is rail thin, about 5' 5", 130 pounds would be my guess. He eats all day long and I mean all day long. Gluten free, though, to note. So far this morning (11:00 am), I have seen him eat an entire can of peanuts (he eats at least one of these every day), a regular single server bag of sour patch kids, a banana and a Red Bull. He has a quart of homemade chili on his desk for lunch (I got him into doing that, but I have an 8 oz container compared to his 32 oz). Later, he will probably go to Subway and get one of their sandwich wedgies on the gluten free bread.

I, by no means regard him as a "normal" eater as I said above, he is an exception. But I worry about others who have people like him in their lives and regard him as being normal. I know I can't eat like that and didn't eat like that in my hayday.

There are people who can eat crap all day long and not be obese. It is important to remember that is not "normal" behavior.

So I have posted before about my co-worker who sits next to me. He is one of the exceptions. He is rail thin, about 5' 5", 130 pounds would be my guess. He eats all day long and I mean all day long. Gluten free, though, to note. So far this morning (11:00 am), I have seen him eat an entire can of peanuts (he eats at least one of these every day), a regular single server bag of sour patch kids, a banana and a Red Bull. He has a quart of homemade chili on his desk for lunch (I got him into doing that, but I have an 8 oz container compared to his 32 oz). Later, he will probably go to Subway and get one of their sandwich wedgies on the gluten free bread.

I, by no means regard him as a "normal" eater as I said above, he is an exception. But I worry about others who have people like him in their lives and regard him as being normal. I know I can't eat like that and didn't eat like that in my hayday.

There are people who can eat crap all day long and not be obese. It is important to remember that is not "normal" behavior.

okay that man has a tapeworm. Seriously, a whole can of peanuts? he has a tapeworm!

So I think this is a GREAT topic. I don't think the version of "normal" eating here is normal. Most of the thin people I know eat a lot of salads and meat and maybe some salty Snacks, but not a lot of desert, not chips daily, no junk food daily. They don't eat all the time. They barely think about food until it's meal time. A skinny friend of mine ate nothing but meat and veg daily and when I asked her about it, she said, oh no! I treat myself every weekend!

You know what her treat was? half a muffin. That was her treat. Which by the way, she thoroughly enjoyed.

I think eating normally is eating clean 6 days a week and maybe allowing yourself one cheat meal, not one cheat day from what I can tell.

I am almost at 'normal', or at least the version of 'normal' I have been striving towards. I consider that to be a balanced and varied diet where the energy I consume is equal to the energy I exert in the business of living 'normally'.

I know I am one of the lucky ones. I have limited hunger, sometimes I forget to eat if I am busy (this is not a good thing) and I reach satiation really quickly. My weight loss, while almost at 100% of my excess weight! has not been dramatic. It has taken 19 months since surgery and I do work out and count my intake religiously. I will need to continue to do this but this is what I now consider the new 'normal'.

Last night I was at a work event and there was a buffet. Ugh. I hate buffet these days, all that food just looks disgusting to me and I can have quite a strong reaction to seeing people load up their plates like they won't eat again for a week. To me, that isn't 'normal'. Yet it used to be and I know that for most people they don't even realise they are doing it. I had a small plate, a bit of ham, a bit of salmon and some new season asparagus with a side salad. A woman next to me who does not know me or the journey I have been on asked me if I was being 'good'. So I guess to her, what I now see as 'normal' is what others see as 'good'.

So perhaps this 'normal' really is down to individual perspective?

I haven't had a french fry in 20 months. Nor do I want one. Actually, I have had one and I threw it up. My sleeve doesn't tolerate deep fried food. As I said, I think I am one of the lucky ones! I never drank soda so I feel no loss now. To me, it isn't normal to guzzle so much sugar and chemicals. I drink alcohol in moderation and I enjoy sweets on occasion. I eat good carbs.

Life is good and feels pretty damn close to my version of 'normal'.

So I think this is a GREAT topic. I don't think the version of "normal" eating here is normal. Most of the thin people I know eat a lot of salads and meat and maybe some salty Snacks, but not a lot of desert, not chips daily, no junk food daily. They don't eat all the time. They barely think about food until it's meal time. A skinny friend of mine ate nothing but meat and veg daily and when I asked her about it, she said, oh no! I treat myself every weekend! You know what her treat was? half a muffin. That was her treat. Which by the way, she thoroughly enjoyed. I think eating normally is eating clean 6 days a week and maybe allowing yourself one cheat meal, not one cheat day from what I can tell.

Agreed 100%! I think we (at least I) got into the mindset that I DESERVE a treat everyday. Umm...no, sorry sweetheart that just isn't the case. I remember watching that Extreme Makeover show and the host was discussing this very topic. He said he will have one or two treats a week and that was 10-12 tortilla chips with salsa or something like that. That was a big eye opener for me.

All of my brothers are very fit and lean. Sure they eat a lot (they're all ridiculously tall), but it's good quality food and they absolutely don't snack throughout the day. They'll have a piece of ice cream cake at birthdays, or one piece of pie on Thanksgiving but they don't keep that stuff in their houses and they very self only indulge.

I know my mindset has to shift to food is fuel for my body to function and that's it. I think once I get there I won't really want junk food or anything of the sorts because in the end it really doesn't help me get through my workout, help me climb the stairs at work without huffing and puffing, etc.

I was just reflecting on this a bit more. I was only able to start eating salad again about four or five weeks ago. Nineteen months is a long time to go without salad! I stated slowly and was absolutely overjoyed to discover I could tolerate it again with no discomfort or rejection.

Thing is, I was not prepared for just how FaNTASTIC fresh vegetables taste. I relish every bite. I have never in my life been so excited by salad as I am these days. Made better because now I also have my own vegetable garden and everything good is coming in season so it is spinach, kale and lettuce from my garden with fresh bSil and lemon and olive oil dressings and I am feeling this better than any ice cream great I may have thought I deserved in the past.

Yeah. Normal is different to what it used to be!

okay that man has a tapeworm. Seriously, a whole can of peanuts? he has a tapeworm!

He just broke out another can of peanuts. I'm not kidding. 11:55am

He just broke out another can of peanuts. I'm not kidding. 11:55am

Tapeworm. I mean, how is that even possible??

.....

There are people who can eat crap all day long and not be obese. It is important to remember that is not "normal" behavior.

Oh I love this topic.

First of all, the above quote is not only not normal, it's not healthy. I know a couple of people who are thin and eat loads of crap everyday. And they're on blood pressure medication, they feel like crap, they're always sick and so on.

And how many people do we all know that ate with no regard for their weight...and it finally caught up with them suddenly later in life?

It's time we woke up and recognized that thin does not equate to healthy. Just because one can manage to eat such and such and loose a few pounds does not mean that person is getting healthier or prolonging his/her life.

And we are not normal. Are bodies are not normal....all of us have bodies that really like to hold onto fat. Our brains are not normal. Are eating habits are not normal. What makes any of us think we know what normal eating is? We certainly never lived it?

I think the problem is whenever I read someone say they want to be normal....it almost translates into "I want to pay no regard to what I eat and let the sleeve do the work." Believe me...I wanted that too. It doesn't work that way.

I'm speaking generally of course. Don't flame me.

Great input, folks, I love hearing everyone's thoughts on this. Laura and Lips, where are you?

For me, normal means being able to get through the day without thinking - no, OBSESSING - about what I am going to eat next. (Check!)

For me, eating normal means I can go to a restaurant and eat what I've ordered happily without looking at what everyone else is eating, dying for a taste and wondering how I could get a bite without looking like the pig that I am. (Check!)

For me, normal means getting one small plate of food and eating it slowly while actually enjoying it instead of inhaling it like a spit shined Hoover. (Check!)

For me, normal means being able to have just a smidge of cake or a taste of ice cream with the will power to not take another and then another and then another. (Check with the caveat that this one may trip me up later.)

For me, eating normally means that my choices are 90% healthy and 10% yummies that hold little nutritional value instead of the other way around. (Check with the above note.)

For me, normal is not binge eating on a regular basis or eating secretly while being ashamed of myself. (Check and a promise made to myself from my pre-op day forward.)

I know my normal will always involve tracking, planning, reminding myself to slow down and enjoy the moment, etc. I know I will never eat and drink at the same time as "normal" people do. My goal is to be unleashed from the chains that I feel food has captured me in and so far, I'm thrilled. I know every day is a new day, and there will be many traps on the road that I am traveling, but I am going to make healthy my normal without the total deprivation that I know will be my downfall.

It's a fine line that will be very hard to balance on, but a balancing act I am determined to learn!

For me, normal means being able to get through the day without thinking - no OBSESSING - about what I am going to eat next. (Check!)

For me, eating normal means I can go to a restaurant and eat what I've ordered happily without looking at what everyone else is eating, dying for a taste and wondering how I could get a bite without looking like the pig that I am. (Check!)

For me, normal means getting one small plate of food and eating it slowly while actually enjoying it instead of inhaling it like a spit shined Hoover. (Check!)

For me, normal means being able to have just a smidge of cake or a taste of ice cream with the will power to not take another and then another and then another. (Check with the caveat that this one may trip me up later.)

For me, eating normally means that my choices are 90% healthy and 10% yummies that hold little nutritional value instead of the other way around. (Check with the above note.)

For me, normal is not binge eating on a regular basis or eating secretly while being ashamed of myself. (Check and a promise made to myself from my pre-op day forward.)

I know my normal will always involve tracking, planning, reminding myself to slow down and enjoy the moment, etc. I know I will never eat and drink at the same time as "normal" people do. My goal is to be unleashed from the chains that I feel food has captured me in and so far, I'm thrilled. I know every day is a new day, and there will be many traps on the road that I am traveling, but I am going to make healthy my normal without the total deprivation that I know will be my downfall.

It's a fine line that will be very hard to balance on, but a balancing act I am determined to learn!

Very nice explanation, Lips, knew we could count on you

I also want to add.....normal to me is being able to walk up a flight of stairs without seeing the faces of dead relatives. Not eating pizza whenever I want.