I wrote on here awhile ago about a friend of mine who was being less than supportive of my decision for surgery. I made the decision, to hear her out, and to show her my side of things. She is afraid I haven't tried everything, that I am taking drastic measures to lose weight. First, I have known this friend for 2 years...she has NO idea about my struggles or what I have or haven't done to lose weight. So I clued her in.

Today, I find out, from her no less, that she and another close friend (we all hang out regularly) are going out of town tomorrow for a girls trip. One that I have attended, and one that we decided the three of us would make an annual trip. I only found out, because she emailed me today at work to ask how my day was going, and to tell me that she and my friend were headed out of town tomorrow to our spot. I was very hurt, felt left out, and couldn't understand why she would go out of her way to hurt me. I understand that this surgery can bring about changes in friendships, but I had no idea it would be this quick ( I am scheduled for surgery December 2nd), or hurt this badly. I have told hardly no one about my surgery, and told this friend because I really needed her support and excitement. What I got was jealousy, judgement, and hurt feelings how someone could be so mean...I mean this isn't high school, what the heck is wrong with people?!

In my honest opinion, keeping toxic friends like that around is preventing the good ones from entering your life. Winter cleaning time! Make room in your life for positive people and hold your friends to the same standards you would a romantic partnership (don't tolerate abuse from anyone) and you will get amazing people coming your way that, even if they state their disagreements, will love and support you no matter what your choices are.

Best of luck

the mean girls from high school only become the mean girls in adulthood. have read all the other posts and agree totally...knew this girl was heavy right away..she is a jealous B**** and you should kick her to the curb. this is definitely not a friend. Friends lend support and are happy when you achieve success..best of luck to you and never look back good luck waiting to hear about ur success..I get sleeved tomorrow and have only told one person besides family I know there will be the mean girls waiting when I loose the weight to probably tell me I look to thin lol

That is a shame. I'm sorry that you confided in your "friend" and did not get the support or encouragement you desired. That is what a friend should be there for. Life is too short to deal with people that would treat you like that. Not only is the whole surgery and post-op journey a lot of work, but think of all we do just to get to the point of being able to have the surgery. Not to mention the years before where you have probably struggled with many diets. I'm sure you also had many emotions involved to even get to the point where you decided to have the surgery. This is by far not "the easy way out". I am fairly new to this site and have been reading these forums, and I find much comfort and support from people I don't even know personally. Maybe you can even find some supportive friends that live in your area in these forums. I hear that people make friends in the support groups before and after surgery that they attend too. I wish you all the best in this journey of yours.

This very story that is happening to you is why Im hardly telling ANYONE!

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The idea of you losing weight puts even more pressure on this lady to lose weight. She's no friend of yours - only thinking about herself and how those around her "fit" into her life. Pitch her to the curb, you'll be glad in the long run that you did.

It gets better everyone!!!

I have not communicated with my "friend" since I posted on here what happened...knowing I am going to end things, simply walking away. I will be cordial when I see her, but we will not be friends on her terms any longer.

I get a text from her yesterday about making Christmas Cookies. We get together and make a ton every year. So she asks me when my surgery is (for the seventh time, like she has too much going on to remember such an inconsequential thing), and I tell her December 2nd. They have decided to do cookies on the seventh. I tell her I will not be able to participate. Her response, you can at least sit in a chair and talk to us, right? Yes please, 5 days post op I'd like to sit in your kitchen and watch you make cookies that none of us need, and then watch you all ear them while I have my Water and Protein shake.

Now I'm just getting angry about her being such a terrible friend, I'm not even sad anymore.

Wow, I never thought of loosing friends over having surgery. But I agree with the consensus. Time to weed out the people in your life that are not uplifting and encouraging.

I have a "friend" who is the same way. I am only in the beginning stages of this process, and she is still trying to sabotage my efforts at health and happiness. She will eat loudly while we are on the phone, saying things like, "Ooooh, this ice cream is delicious!" and slurp and make noise. And when I begin my two week pre-op diet (hopefully soon), she has informed me that she will continue to ask me to go out to eat and will continue to go out for pizza and junk because she is "not the one giving up" her life. I told her that for one thing, food is not my life. And secondly, I have plenty of other friends and family members who support me, so I don't need her crap. As a side note, she is 5'0" and weighs about 300 pounds. Her doctors have been trying to get her to have the surgery but to no avail - she wants no part of it. She is way too addicted to food.

As for your situation, you don't need this toxic "friend" in your life. I agree with Sassy Pants - recognize it, make peace with it and continue your awesome journey. :-) Best of luck to you!

I've always leaned on the thought that God places people into and out of our lives for a reason. Maybe God is making room for your new season. My surgery date is also December 2nd. We are getting ready to shed away the old weight and baggage to make room for the new. "Its all a part of the plan"