Okay, I'm a fairy patient kind of girl. If i see someone in need, I will duly assist in any way possible. That is my nature.

However, there are limits to this...

Something is really getting on my proverbial mammary glands and I just have to put it out there... Before I 'go to town' on someone....

What am I referring to?

The indomitable, self-indulgent, totally out of proportion whinging on this website.

What kind of whinging, I hear you cry?! Well, it's not the general and often valid complaints, concerns and outpourings of confusion related to WLS. Which, lets face, it, we all have for time to time... Or even the posts that deviate from being WLS related and are either observations on life or genuine cries for help.

It's the 'OMG, I ate some fresh air!!!!! <swing your head back whilst placing your wrist on your forehead in a swooning fashion>

'I am going to have to flagellate myself for the rest of my natural born life because I ate a cracker with cheese spread on it!'

'I ate a mouthful of cream-cheese frosting, I hate myself' - then cue the over-exaggerated 'depression' and attention-seeking mewing because someone, in a 'moment of madness' <raises an eyebrow> didn't reach for a Protein shake or Quest bar.

Now, before I get lambasted for not being 'sympathetic' and being told in a lofty and self-righteous way that 'not everyone is as strong as other people and they just need some gentle encouragement'.. What I am going to say to that right now and up front is 'BALLS!'

So someone ate something with 15g of carbs, 11g of sugar and little protein. SO WHAT?!!! If you're clever enough to work out that these aren't good nutritional ratios, then you're smart enough to know that you shouldn't be eating it. So get some perspective, be objective, dust yourself off and carry on. Don't take up my visual space with your whinges that do no more than to advertise your bordering on infantile attention seeking ways...

If you make a habit of making bad food choices when you know the nutritional values - then frankly, you're an idiot. If you're having serious addiction issues - then that's a WHOLE different ball game and there's not a person on the planet that won't do all they can (within the limits of this medium and geography) to help.

Just to those who want to curry sympathy and 'collect' platitudinous pats on the back for being self-indulgent whinge-bags - over very little - all I have to say is just hope I don't come across those particular posts. The response won't be pretty.....

And for the smug ones who are undoubtedly going to say 'Well, you don't have to read them.. You can just skip past them..tra-la-la-la' I say BALLS to that too. Attention seekers have a habit of making their topic titles sound very 'life or death'. Having the concept of 'duty of care' bashed into my head for years, I feel obliged to read them. But no sooner do I get to the second sentence, I discover its been written by 'one of those types' and the rage subsequently builds...

So my rant to 'those types' and in summary is;

Do, please, and before I turn green, shut up!!!

<and relax...>

Between bites of pizza and cheese burgers

Chased by big, thick, chocolate shakes!!!!!!!! WITH WHIPPED CREAM!!!!!!

I am the wicked fairy, Lipstick

With a soul as black and the blackest night and a heart made of cast Iron?

In before this thread gets locked for breaking forum rule number 1.....starting a thread for the sole reason of criticizing other members. Don't get me wrong....I agree. You don't know how many times I've wanted to reply...."yes, you are a total failure and you just exploded your sleeve." Even to some who have posted in this very thread.

But that would waste even more time than what I wasted reading the OP.

But me having an emotional reaction about someone wanting that sympathy/encouragement/validation? That is a definite waste of spirit.

Oh Laura, if you haven't figured it out then I have my doubts whether any of us will. You're one of the smartest people on here, IMHO.

I just gotta add a few comments.

If someone really thinks they have it figured out ... they are delusional.

If someone got the VSG and doesn't think they have issues with food, I also believe they are delusional. If I use the word addiction, that creates a shat-storm so I will say "issues with food". Those who can go the full route by facing the truth that they are addicted to food are WAY ahead of the game. Food addiction is something to be managed. Some days are better than others. Some demons scream louder than others. Those who deny this drive me crazy.

Denial ... the fastest way to not reach your goals.

I'm over two years out, been at goal for over a year and a half and was panicked at the thought of going on a cruise and being surrounded by food just a couple weeks ago. I don't have my demons beat, by any means. As soon as I think I do, I'm in trouble.

Forum Rule 1: VerticalSleeveTalk Posting Guidelines

1. Everyone has a right to speak regardless of their perspective....

Ergo why it went into the 'Raves and Rants' section....

I have no desire to call someone a failure or say they exploded their sleeve - THAT is an attack. I wanted to express my angst at attention-seeking individuals. There is nothing personal or identifiable about it. It's a general rant.

As for wasting my time? I don't think it is. Primarily, because if this one post (which is not directed at any specific person) resonates, then maybe they'll think twice before writing their self-serving whinges - when as LV identified, there are people out there that genuinely deserve everyones care, compassion and attention....

I believe BtB was referring to the thread directed from the pinned thread at the top of the Rants and Raves forum.

http://www.verticalsleevetalk.com/topic/52406-vst-rules-keeping-the-forums-a-safe-place-for-everyone/

Madam, you are a relative freshy here at VST, so you have not lived through the highs and lows of the dozens of other threads which have addressed this topic over the many, many months. This gets to be quite a heated topic and the moderators are quite passionate (rightly so) about it. The fear is that someone who is on the fence about something they are struggling with will not post because they are afraid of getting a response such as this.

Not everyone has the same background or personality. Some are meeker and more sensitive whilst others are more straightforward and bold. The moderators are trying to create an environment which is conducive to all.

I totally understand where you are coming from. I just came back from taking a several month break from the site and within a day I was getting flamed when a member only posted a picture of chips. I didn't understand the point and was direct. Everybody then climbs on me including several people on this thread who are agreeing with your post. We are the most dysfunctional family I have ever seen here at VST, but we do need to try to work together.

Don't be afraid to take a break once and a while. It does me good, perhaps it can work for you, too.

As for wasting my time? I don't think it is. Primarily' date=' because if this one post (which is not directed at any specific person) resonates, then maybe they'll think twice before writing their self-serving whinges - when as LV identified, there are people out there that genuinely deserve everyones care, compassion and attention....[/quote']

So are you saying its like a preventative strike to keep someone from posting how they really feel? Even if it is "self-serving whinges?"

Just playing devils advocate here.

And by rule number 1...meant the proverbial rule number 1. But in case you missed it see the very first thread in the Rants and Raves section.

"Just a reminder, please do not start topics specifically for the purpose of ranting and raving about other members. Please click on/refer to the topic below that specifically addresses this"

Okay, i'll take this a bit at a time:

• I believe BtB was referring to the thread directed from the pinned thread at the top of the Rants and Raves forum. http://www.verticals...e-for-everyone/
  

Yep, I went straight for the general forum rules - which still technically apply. However, I give credence to what has been written at the top of the Rants and Raves section and understand why it has been put there. In my defence, my rant is not a personal one. It is not in reply to a specific post and I don't believe it would prevent anyone from airing their questions in the general forum. Fundamentally, if people have noticed it and found it to have a 'personal' effect, it has obviously resonated on some level?

• Madam, you are a relative freshy here at VST, so you have not lived through the highs and lows of the dozens of other threads which have addressed this topic over the many, many months. This gets to be quite a heated topic and the moderators are quite passionate (rightly so) about it.
  

I am fresh here, with fresh eyes and being the person I am, am unlikely to get embroiled in the misconstrued too-ings and fro-ings and flaming sessions which occur over what were originally innocuous posts. Primarily, it's not my style and as I have publicly stated, are deeply unhelpful. I do find it interesting, however, that despite the familiarity with the forum rules, that they tend to involve a lot of the people who are, themselves, considered 'well established' on the forums. ​

• The fear is that someone who is on the fence about something they are struggling with will not post because they are afraid of getting a response such as this.
  

This is not a response. This is an independent observation, in a completely unrelated thread, which directly deals with those who see fit to dress up the most benign issues as life-threatening events. They, themselves, need to show due courtesy to those who genuinely require advice and support.

• Not everyone has the same background or personality. Some are meeker and more sensitive whilst others are more straightforward and bold. The moderators are trying to create an environment which is conducive to all.
  

Agreed and yes, they are absolutely right to do so. However, I repeat that this is a separate thread, is not a specific attack against one person and is on a page designed for it. However, if people find that as a consequence of stumbling across my ramblings, they are going to stop posting; then I draw you to my previous comment: 'if people have noticed it... have...obviously felt it resonate on some level?'

• I totally understand where you are coming from. I just came back from taking a several month break from the site and within a day I was getting flamed when a member only posted a picture of chips. I didn't understand the point and was direct. Everybody then climbs on me including several people on this thread who are agreeing with your post. We are the most dysfunctional family I have ever seen here at VST, but we do need to try to work together.
  

You're absolutely right, we do. However, I concede that if people want to make self-indulgent posts, the test of how people feel about it, is in the responses it attracts. On that basis, I offer the same measure for this post, too. As for the thread involving the picture of the chips, I read it. As is too often, it degenerated into a deeply-unhelpful flaming session which benefitted no one. Ergo, if I'm going to make a statement, I make it off thread, non-personal and, I hope, relatively measured - if not dressed with a modicum of sarcasm and humour.

• Don't be afraid to take a break once and a while. It does me good, perhaps it can work for you, too.
  

Thank you for the advice, sincerely. I'm glad the break did you good - if albeit you were straight into a flaming session on your immediate return. I think I'm okay at this juncture. Whilst I'm a lady of leisure, it happily passes some time and usually proves amusing and well natured. Be assured, however, the moment I start taking people out personally or get embroiled in 'thread-spats', I'll be sure to get some therapy - if not a piece of pizza!

While we're on rants and raves...I want to rant about Mylie Cyrus and why she always, in every picture, has her tongue hanging out of her mouth. OMG - it bugs me to no end. I want to punch her, I seriously want to punch her.

• The fear is that someone who is on the fence about something they are struggling with will not post because they are afraid of getting a response such as this.
  

This is not a response. This is an independent observation, in a completely unrelated thread, which directly deals with those who see fit to dress up the most benign issues as life-threatening events. They, themselves, need to show due courtesy to those who genuinely require advice and support.

I am well aware this is not a response to any one in particular and I'm afraid my post has put you somewhat on the defensive. That was not my intention, but just to relate some history of this very topic and my interpretation of how the moderators have responded.

While it is not a response to a thread or individual, it is directed at folks who you deem to be seeking self-serving ends. That would be a pretty large kettle of fish, there! Again, I believe the moderators are looking for an open forum where anyone can post anything about everything. Sure, as I have said, I totally understand what you are saying. It makes me crazy, too, so I take breaks or just stay in the Vet's or Men's Room. I try to stay away from the, "How many jellybeans can I eat 1 week post-op?" or "Do I really need to get my Protein in?" posts, but like you point out, I am guilty of not being able to keep my mouth shut and post something cheeky. I am not immune to allowing my frustration bubble over.

Again, I am just relating my personal experience with these types of threads over the years. This is a topic covered MANY times. I'm not attacking or flaming you ... We are a diverse community here and I have to remember that.

Huh!!?? OMG, Laura or myself make the smallest of peeps regarding this same topic and all we get is self-righteous and how we should be more sensitive and supportive from you ...

You know what makes me crazy? Is someone who will criticize on one post, then turn around and do the exact opposite on another.

BTW, Madam, you are spot on. This is one of the leading reasons I take breaks from the site from time to time.

I just KNEW you we're gonna pop up and start waving this flag. Yeah, these are two totally different scenarios. Her blanket frustration above is very common, a lot of people think it but not many actually say something about it. But rather than just wait for someone to post and start ranting she didn't single anyone out as this is a general frustration. You were begrudging someone for posting a picture of a food that you wouldn't necessarily eat in your day to day... so you hung her out to dry for it, in her own thread when she was clearly just looking for some guidance. You did it without tact or consideration for any of her circumstances. Your "tough love" made you look like a jerk and it served only you.

So yeah, apples and oranges.

P.S. You can reply to this (as I'm sure you will), I won't be responding and doing the back and forth with you again. Just making my intentions clear.

lol Don't worry, I'm not on the defensive - just clarifying my position. It is very easy for threads to morph, a bit like chinese whispers, because someone's 'take' on it engineers the original sentiment away from what was truly intended and then others jump on board. This is how flaming starts and why I clarified my position.

As for the posts you mention - they're not the ones that 'get my goat'- if you will. Albeit they're annoying (and I, like you, tend to ignore) Its the one who advertise the smallest eating plan infraction as if the end of the world is nigh....

Experience is good. As they say 'every day is a school day'. Thankfully and hopefully, that applies to all of us.

Oh and as this is my thread! <pokes her tongue out> There'll be no flaming! Else I'll have to turn green again. And you wouldn't like me when I'm green!

Now, can we all feel the love please and as Miley Cyrus does - stick our tongues out and twerk in unison?!

<we shall overlook the fact that she only found out what 'twerking' was 48 hours ago>

Denial ... the fastest way to not reach your goals.

Right on. I totally agree.

Now, can we all feel the love please and as Miley Cyrus does - stick our tongues out and twerk in unison?!

I've been practicing my twerk for such an occasion!

I just KNEW you we're gonna pop up and start waving this flag. Yeah, these are two totally different scenarios. Her blanket frustration above is very common, a lot of people think it but not many actually say something about it. But rather than just wait for someone to post and start ranting she didn't single anyone out as this is a general frustration. You were begrudging someone for posting a picture of a food that you wouldn't necessarily eat in your day to day... so you hung her out to dry for it, in her own thread when she was clearly just looking for some guidance. You did it without tact or consideration for any of her circumstances. Your "tough love" made you look like a jerk and it served only you.

So yeah, apples and oranges.

P.S. You can reply to this (as I'm sure you will), I won't be responding and doing the back and forth with you again. Just making my intentions clear.

Huh?! Wow, where are you coming from? Talk about getting defensive. Woa! And am so glad we won't be hearing from you again on this.

So, if you read my thread over there, I asked her why she only posted a picture. I asked her what her intention was. I pointed out several scenarios as to reasons why someone might make a post such as hers, but again, she gave us no direction. You made assumptions of her intentions and my intentions. Shame on you. You know what they say about people who make assumptions ... how true.

As far as it being a food I would not necessarily eat? Why are you making that assumption? I eat chips. Even the really bad nasty ones. Had me some Honey Mustard Pringles last night. I also had about 3 Snickers minis. This is my journey as it is hers. Again, she posted no text with her pictures and I was asking for clarification. If you read it in a cynical manner, that is your issue. A cynical person will read things in a cynical light. How did my post serve me? (scratching my head) Getting high and mighty while complaining about me getting high and mighty? Thank you for proving my point.

As far as going back and forth with you, enjoy your own mental games. I am not low enough to go into a battle of wits against an unarmed man.

VST is just like home with my kids ... the older and more experienced I am, the dumber I get.