I finally broke the news to my mom that I'm going to have the surgery, she wasn't exactly jumping for joy, over the years she has always advised me that its not worth the risk, however, this is coming from a woman who was a single parent with me as an only child (and not to mention she is a size 8), I'm a single parent with one child as well, so I completely understand where she is coming from as a concerned parent. I told her that my weight has discouraged me, has not allowed me to live up to my full potential and has caused unnecessary avoidable health issues all of my life and she, in a round about kind of way, said that I was over exaggerating, so with that being said I simply broke it down to her in 5 year increments to help her to better understand. I told her that I recall at the age of 5 going shopping with my aunt and my cousins for new summer clothes, my cousins were normal size kids and I was probably twice they're size and we were all approximately the same age, my cousins picked out these beautiful sun dresses and were very happy, I on the other hand can remember us not being able to find anything for me to wear and could sense my aunts frustration with having to look elsewhere, I not only felt bad about not being able to wear something pretty like my cousins but I was as a kid felt sad about my aunt not being happy, I'm will be 38 next year and I can remember that as if it happened yesterday. My mom at this point was silent with a look of empathy and concern on her on face and obviously felt sad for me. I continued to give her an example of discouragement for every 5 years of my life (age 10, 15, 20, 25, 30, 35) and told her to multiply those stories times 50 for all of the other experiences in between. My last example for her was at the age if 35 when a guy I was dating told me that if I lost weight I would be gorgeous, I was completely taken away because I thought he had already felt as if I was gorgeous. Lol ( I've heard this more times than I care to remember and it's never felt like a compliment its more like being advised that your not ok as you are). By the time we were done talking she was totally on board and happy for me. My experiences at age 40 will be completely different for me and will feel like something on a different universe and I'm sure to appreciate and enjoy every second of it. I feel as if my life before 40 will be looked at as a journey towards having solid wisdom on how to be respectful, fair and compassionate with others, all of the judgements and subtle discrimination that I have experienced will be turned into strength that's indisputable and will be used towards supporting others that have so much potential that's unrecognized due to a huge chunk of the world having tunnel vision towards what advertisements and society has dictated to be "beautiful" . I can't say that I will ever regret what I have gone through Im aware that with all trials and tribulations , especially the ones that are founded simply based on the way you look, are meant to empower us and allow us to demonstrate a greater sense of integrity and warmth than others. I will use this gained wisdom as my gift to the world. My experiences go a lot deeper that what I've mentioned in this post, I didn't want to get carried away and freeze up this site. Lol. Much success to everyone in all stages and remember that your journey was put in place for a reason and to appreciate where you have come from.

Well, I know you have to decide what's best for you. I'm a single mom too, and KNOW my BMI of 40 is keeping me from living my life. I'm dine being a slave to what I've done to my body. I'm ready to move on. All the best to you.

Btw, I'm not telling 90% of the people in my life.

Thank you so much. I will be telling very few people as well, I know this is going to be quite a challenge, but so has all these years of being held down by my weight, I'm ready to experience a different side of the coin. Much success to you going forward. Thanks

I finally broke the news to my mom that I'm going to have the surgery' date=' she wasn't exactly jumping for joy, over the years she has always advised me that its not worth the risk, however, this is coming from a woman who was a single parent with me as an only child (and not to mention she is a size 8), I'm a single parent with one child as well, so I completely understand where she is coming from as a concerned parent. I told her that my weight has discouraged me, has not allowed me to live up to my full potential and has caused unnecessary avoidable health issues all of my life and she, in a round about kind of way, said that I was over exaggerating, so with that being said I simply broke it down to her in 5 year increments to help her to better understand. I told her that I recall at the age of 5 going shopping with my aunt and my cousins for new summer clothes, my cousins were normal size kids and I was probably twice they're size and we were all approximately the same age, my cousins picked out these beautiful sun dresses and were very happy, I on the other hand can remember us not being able to find anything for me to wear and could sense my aunts frustration with having to look elsewhere, I not only felt bad about not being able to wear something pretty like my cousins but I was as a kid felt sad about my aunt not being happy, I'm will be 38 next year and I can remember that as if it happened yesterday. My mom at this point was silent with a look of empathy and concern on her on face and obviously felt sad for me. I continued to give her an example of discouragement for every 5 years of my life (age 10, 15, 20, 25, 30, 35) and told her to multiply those stories times 50 for all of the other experiences in between. My last example for her was at the age if 35 when a guy I was dating told me that if I lost weight I would be gorgeous, I was completely taken away because I thought he had already felt as if I was gorgeous. Lol ( I've heard this more times than I care to remember and it's never felt like a compliment its more like being advised that your not ok as you are). By the time we were done talking she was totally on board and happy for me. My experiences at age 40 will be completely different for me and will feel like something on a different universe and I'm sure to appreciate and enjoy every second of it. I feel as if my life before 40 will be looked at as a journey towards having solid wisdom on how to be respectful, fair and compassionate with others, all of the judgements and subtle discrimination that I have experienced will be turned into strength that's indisputable and will be used towards supporting others that have so much potential that's unrecognized due to a huge chunk of the world having tunnel vision towards what advertisements and society has dictated to be "beautiful" . I can't say that I will ever regret what I have gone through Im aware that with all trials and tribulations , especially the ones that are founded simply based on the way you look, are meant to empower us and allow us to demonstrate a greater sense of integrity and warmth than others. I will use this gained wisdom as my gift to the world. My experiences go a lot deeper that what I've mentioned in this post, I didn't want to get carried away and freeze up this site. Lol. Much success to everyone in all stages and remember that your journey was put in place for a reason and to appreciate where you have come from.[/quote']

I can totally relate, I always get the "you have such a pretty face" comment, and have always been heavy. I remember shopping with friends and not being able to get the same clothing and going to different stores. So do what is best for you and your health. Good luck with everything!

Cushy, judging from your profile picture, I think you are pretty gorgeous now! This surgery is going to help us with a lot more than looks, though. Think how wonderful to have more energy for your child, be able to sit anywhere without worrying if you fit, buy the clothes you want, escape other people's judgement because of our size. Best wishes to you on your journey.

I kept mentioning a guy at work that had the bypass to my mother, and she finally guessed it. She didn't like it, but she's on board. My mother is a few pounds overweight, 20 maybe... she has never gotten it. At least it is out there. I felt like every time I talked to her, I wanted to blurt it out and couldn't. I probably spilled it mid August. Surgery is in 10 days.

I kept mentioning a guy at work that had the bypass to my mother, and she finally guessed it. She didn't like it, but she's on board. My mother is a few pounds overweight, 20 maybe... she has never gotten it. At least it is out there. I felt like every time I talked to her, I wanted to blurt it out and couldn't. I probably spilled it mid August. Surgery is in 10 days.

Cushy--- I am proud of you! I can so relate to your story at all points. I a year and almost three months out from surgery. Life gets so different in this end. This is the best thing that you can do for yourself from a health standpoint but also an empowerment standpoint.

My life has changed and things that I used to stuff down with food or just from fear of being ignored, told I don't know what I'm talking about --- you name it! I now speak mind and have taken hold of the reigns of my life more than before. Only you can show the rest of the world who you are.

Of course let me warn you people can and will continue to say stupid things! I work in radio and I someone tell me that my voice sounds clearer since I lost weight. Like once I got the ham and mac&cheese out of my cheeks I sounded better!

Some people assume that it is the surgery.. And want to remind you if not for the surgery you wouldn't have the loss. They are part right... It is a tool to help get you there... Your mind and heart have to follow suit!

Remind yourself every day that you are worth it!

Cushy--- I am proud of you! I can so relate to your story at all points. I a year and almost three months out from surgery. Life gets so different in this end. This is the best thing that you can do for yourself from a health standpoint but also an empowerment standpoint.

My life has changed and things that I used to stuff down with food or just from fear of being ignored, told I don't know what I'm talking about --- you name it! I now speak mind and have taken hold of the reigns of my life more than before. Only you can show the rest of the world who you are.

Of course let me warn you people can and will continue to say stupid things! I work in radio and I someone tell me that my voice sounds clearer since I lost weight. Like once I got the ham and mac&cheese out of my cheeks I sounded better!

Some people assume that it is the surgery.. And want to remind you if not for the surgery you wouldn't have the loss. They are part right... It is a tool to help get you there... Your mind and heart have to follow suit!

Remind yourself every day that you are worth it!