Has there ever been anyone on this site who has a husband that is a recluse and you just need to have that other man by your side to be happy?

I will not make a call for you if you are asking is it OK to compromise your wedding vows. If you need companionship there are other ways to achieve that.

Perhaps you should seek to find a remedy within your relationship rather than outside it, if you want the relationship you have.

I agree. Just as you are focusing on yourself, be careful with the promises you made. You have to deal with the issues in your marriage BEFORE you seek companionship outside of it. Not fair to him, no matter what you are feeling. Take some serious time before attracting someone else. Hopefully you will respect yourself more if you handle the problem at home first.

I would think that if one is unhappy in his/her marriage and knows that in order to be happy she/he needs to escape it, it would be best to leave that relationship first before pursuing another.

My husband and I have an "open relationship". Either one of us is welcome to, at any time, find happiness with someone else as long as we are upfront and honest about it and we divorce first. I want him to be happy and if that's with another woman, so be it. It had just better be AFTER I get my 50+%. He feels the same about me.

I'm just putting this topic out there hypothetically, i love my husband and will not do anything to hurt him. I was starting a thread about something I read in another forum.

There's some thinking out there that that WLS is a catalyst. It strengthens relationships that were already strong, but tends to be very hard on marriages/relationships that are already struggling. Not surprised, with as many of us that are on the forum, that we are in different places with our SOs.

I heard that wls causes a lot of divorce because its digs up anxieties and fears. Case in point My 600 lb life. Melissas husb started cheating on her when she lost weight.

Melissas husband had cheated on her before and during and while she was in hosp.

When the confidence increases sometimes we are not willing to put up with as much. I think it is natural.

An open relationship is where people in relationships see other people but are ok with it. Telling each other and getting a divorce is simply being honest, but not open to it. Everyone is different. People can grow apart over the years too. What we want at 20 is not the same as at 50.

I think @@LipstickLady was making a joke about her "open" relationship.

I think @@LipstickLady was making a joke about her "open" relationship.

I'm thinking @@LipstickLady WASN'T making a joke about her 50+%!

Edited May 23, 201412 yr by DonRodolfo

I sympathize with what you are going through. I understand what it is to be lonely inside of a relationship yet still unwilling to leave it. It's a terrible thing to go through.

Have you considered speaking with your husband about an open relationship? Sometimes that can work for people. I believe honesty is the best policy and there is more than one kind of marriage that can work.

Perhaps you could talk with other people in similar situations in chat rooms etc. you have one life and it's up to you to choose happiness.

I personally wouldn't feel comfortable with an open relationship, however I am not judging nor saying if you should or shouldn't have one. I will say that I do understand how WLS can change the dynamic of the relationship, especially in a situation like mine where you see your spouse going down the EXACT same unhealthy path you went down, but refusing to do anything but make excuses and broken promises about it. That's a really hard pill for me to swallow and it breaks my heart (and makes me angry)

However, if I got to the point where I needed someone else, then as painful as it would be, I would separate and divorce.

My late husband of 20yrs was my polar opposite. He didn't like to socialize at all and was content reading or home with the kids and/or myself. I am and was always a social butterfly!

He would even drive me to the club I was meeting friends at....

but not once did I cheat. If you're at the point you 'need' to cheat on this man, respect him AND yourself enough to divorce him.

The stress of lying and cheating will be a huge pressure for you and could effect your food issues.

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Has there ever been anyone on this site who has a husband that is a recluse and you just need to have that other man by your side to be happy?

How about the support of a husband but now i crave her attention ( she had the sleeve about 2yrs now) i tried everything talking to her nicely and tried talking to her in a very calm and concerned way. Still nothing our sex life is spotty at best 8 months ago great session 2 months later just get it over with and now 6 months later nothing and i mention it to her and her response is awe poor thing. Feeling completely alone and unneeded

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