In the limited time I have been hanging around this forum, I have noticed something very disturbing. Yes, there is a lot of support and well wishes, light hearted jokes, and wonderful advice.

But, there is something more. Something dark, oppressive, in a word....judgemental. Perhaps more judgemental than I have ever experienced. Surprising, coming from a group of people who have historically been harshly judged, ridiculed, discriminated against, our spirits crushed because of our weight. Now it seems, some victims have become perpetrators of harsh judgement. Do they know? Do they realize it? Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe they don't care. Maybe they believe in their perceived self appointed cause. Maybe its because they think they are an "expert".

What makes an expert? Nobody can agree. Are you an expert because you were or are fat? Because you had wls? Is it because your surgery was 10 yrs ago or are you an expert after 10 hours? Do you really know more at 5 years vs 3 years? Do you know more than a medical professional trained in wls or obesity? Does that not count if they were never fat or had wls?

Some of us are strong and do not care about your harsh opinions. Maybe some of us even think you are stupid for saying something so harsh or judgmental. But there are plenty who are soft on the inside, who make be more affected by being judged like that. Even though this is just a forum, people can be very hurt or confused by a nasty post. And the information some self appointed experts advise so strongly may be in error or cause injury.

If anyone should know how it feels to be judged it should be all of us here. So why are some doing it to others? There are better ways to get your "opinion" across than coming across as a self appointed expert.

I must be fortunate enough to live in a world of rainbows and unicorns! I've never once thought of this forum in this manner nor have I ever felt "judged, ridiculed, discriminated against, our spirits crushed because of our (my) weight".

On a happier note, I went to a consignment store today and bought 4 pairs of size 14 capris and 5 size large tops today. I also weighed in at 197.5 at my three month follow up today, 2 pounds less than my home scale and I was fully dressed instead of buck nekky. WOOOT WOOOT!!

Oh sorry...got side tracked by my skittle pooping ponies.

CONGRATS!!

It is sad that to seek respect or peace is likened to seeking imaginary fantasy beasts. Just because somebody isn't doing things your own way isn't necessarily wrong. Yet many treat it that way. Sometimes it doesn't come across as helpful but more of a lecture. I wonder how many find lecturing to be motivating for them.

I'm sure some people say things to get arise out of someone or to start a conversation. Life is full of judgements, whether it is because of weight, sexual orientation, your choice of a significant other, what we wore over the weekend, or the job we do. When we get a review or feedback at work there is a level of judgement included. How an individual deals with negative comments is what does or does not do is what defines them as a person. If we all we not able to deal with judgements we wouldn't be able to get out of bed in the morning. Everyone is entitled to their respective opinion whether I or you agree or not. You should make sure you are not judging others as harshly as you have accused them of doing.

I don't agree with all you stated but respect your right to say it.

It is sad that to seek respect or peace is likened to seeking imaginary fantasy beasts. Just because somebody isn't doing things your own way isn't necessarily wrong. Yet many treat it that way. Sometimes it doesn't come across as helpful but more of a lecture. I wonder how many find lecturing to be motivating for them.

Oh goodness! I wasn't making that comparison at all! I was simply stating that I've not seen or felt what you described in your OP on this forum or in my personal life.

I was just poking a bit of fun at the Candyland I live in because I usually float through my days in a giddy little universe all of my own. Don't get me wrong, I have my share of moments, but I rarely take things personally, especially when it's a stranger on the Internet that's acting a fool.

Acascuse me?

Listen ... we are hungry and moody (and hormonal for us women). This is a fat people trying to get skinny forum... hello!!

Having said that though (and after I ate something and had my coffee), I do like it when everyone's nice and helpful.

I loooove Flamin' Hot Cheetos!

That is all.

nursebarbie,

did you really just spend all that time writing out your first post to try to make a point and THEN be rude and judgemental toward someone for trying to make a light hearted joke?

cmon, seriously?

nursebarbie,

did you really just spend all that time writing out your first post to try to make a point and THEN be rude and judgemental toward someone for trying to make a light hearted joke?

cmon, seriously?

My ponies are still flying. It's all good.

Can I have my click back.. Reading some of these posts while I have my coffee is like watching Maury Povich.. People are mean specially fat people who are food deprived moody and think they're all frigging experts because they had a section of their stomach removed. I admit I'm a bit of a cuntasourous I try to keep it at a minimum on here since I don't want to be perceived as a meanie lol.. Oh wait this post wasn't about me.. Yeah that's one of my gripes why do people read more into posts that have nothing to do with them??

nursebarbie,

did you really just spend all that time writing out your first post to try to make a point and THEN be rude and judgemental toward someone for trying to make a light hearted joke?

cmon, seriously?

What was mean about that last post of mine you are referring to? Maybe you should re read your post to me first and consider the source.

Nursebarbie.. I have seen exactly what you are talking about and for those who haven't I hope you never do.

Nursebarbie.. I have seen exactly what you are talking about and for those who haven't I hope you never do.

So have I

You are right and I bow down to you. Infact let's fire all the doctors too since most cardiologists have never had a hear attack so what do they know? And those male ob gyns too! Imagine them knowing how to deal with being pregnant! When I go back to work in a week I will be sure to tell all the other nurses and doctors that we are idiots who cannot advise anyone of health issues unless we have the same medical problems. And we better find shrinks who are crazy too right? After it takes one to know one right?

You deserve the blue ribbon for this line of thought. Thanks for a laugh.

Great. A doctor of philosophy. Not a medical doctor so I personally do not care.

You personally attacked me out of all the posters who felt the same way as me. To me that does not demostrate someone who has a very well rounded education. Especially a doctorate of philosophy which balances its points of view with reason and deep thought. I hate to tell you this but its just a gastric surgery not a quadruple bypass or massive traumatic brain surgery. Many people have their stomach removed for other reasons than weight loss and go on with their lives. I find you to be rude to single out one poster in this thread when many others echoed my point of view. I shared something very personal with the other members. By doing what you have done you have demostrated zero compassion and zero common sense.

Barbie? None of us are perfect, so I'm trying to figure out what your point is? Why keep coming back and continuing this thread??

Whoooops!