In 2 days I go for surgery. Today i drove 5 hours to pick up my 78 year mom and my older sister because they want to take care of me along with my husband and 19year old daugther while I'm in the hospital and during recovery. They'll be with me for a month. Nothing like having mom around when I'm not feeling well, I feel truly blessed.

Its understandable for them to want to be a support system, but honestly you won't need 4 people to look after you. I had my surgery on a Tuesday and I was back to babysitting 3 kids plus taking care of my own 3 kids the following Monday. This is your new life, yes you will be in a small amount of pain, but you have to be up and active right after surgery in the hospital. They aren't going to send you home to sit and lie around not doing anything for yourself and you are going to have to make all of them understand that you cannot sit or lie around all day while they wait on you. While I love my mom, I am glad that she is 15 hours away when I had my surgery because she could only tell me what to do over the phone and it made it a lot easier to tell her I was following my drs instructions rather than hers and I wasn't going to lay around all day! Good Luck on your surgery!!

Yay for family!!! I think that is great even if its to go for walks or help you clean... My mom 2 sisters and hubby came for my surgery and I love having them. I have a huge family and love to hear when families are very supportive. I hope you have a great surgery and recovery and enjoy your family time

That's great and although as indicated above you need to be physically active as part of this process it is still great to have people who love and support you around. You will have plenty of walking partners and people who can help you get through the rough patches. My surgery was easy peasy, no complications no problems. But I was surprised of the "buyers remorse" I felt in the very beginning and also how weird I felt when I ate and drank with my new stomach. Enjoy the time you have with your family

I have 1 daughter and 1 son, they have teamed up to ack as personal trainers for me. My son already walks our dog for about 20-30 minutes a day and has taken me out for short walks with the intention of building my walks. My daughter has an 18 month daughter and we walk her and take her to the park. My son lives with me and keeps on me about my protein shakes, breathing exercises, etc. They want their mom to be healthy and I keep up because I want to be able to be a motivation to them.

I find that my family is hesitant. I'm just beginning the VSG process (first appointment is today) - and my mom gets this disgusted look on her face every time I talk about it.

Being overweight my whole life, I've never experienced life on the other side, when I didn't feel held back and super self conscious and insecure. I've never looked in the mirror and not seen a chubby face with a double chin. I'd like to experience that. I thought, as she's been overweight all of her life too, that my mother would be understanding and supportive. Instead, she is having a really hard time with this. I understand the surgery is risky, and things can go wrong, but I don't want to get to be her age and have all of the regrets/issues that she has.

Am I a bad person for feeling that way?

Mil, you're not a bad person at all for feeling that way. A lot of people do not feel the end justifies the means. My father has a huge issue that I'm doing this bc he's scared. This surgery is no riskier than others, plus it's done laparoscopicly. I had my first consultation a few years back and I had no support so I never went thru with it. But now I have a great support system and I'm just waiting to hear when my date is. I have 2 friends that had it done in the last 3 weeks. The one girl is already down 25 pounds. I'm so excited. This is going to change my life! Don't let anyone rain on your parade.

I find that my family is hesitant. I'm just beginning the VSG process (first appointment is today) - and my mom gets this disgusted look on her face every time I talk about it.

Being overweight my whole life, I've never experienced life on the other side, when I didn't feel held back and super self conscious and insecure. I've never looked in the mirror and not seen a chubby face with a double chin. I'd like to experience that. I thought, as she's been overweight all of her life too, that my mother would be understanding and supportive. Instead, she is having a really hard time with this. I understand the surgery is risky, and things can go wrong, but I don't want to get to be her age and have all of the regrets/issues that she has.

Am I a bad person for feeling that way?

I find that my family is hesitant. I'm just beginning the VSG process (first appointment is today) - and my mom gets this disgusted look on her face every time I talk about it.

Being overweight my whole life, I've never experienced life on the other side, when I didn't feel held back and super self conscious and insecure. I've never looked in the mirror and not seen a chubby face with a double chin. I'd like to experience that. I thought, as she's been overweight all of her life too, that my mother would be understanding and supportive. Instead, she is having a really hard time with this. I understand the surgery is risky, and things can go wrong, but I don't want to get to be her age and have all of the regrets/issues that she has.

Am I a bad person for feeling that way?

You just made cry. You can never be terrible when are trying to take control of your health. So get that right out of your head! I've only told my immediate family and there are range of emotions and opinions I get from them. Mostly it's worry and concern of the unknown. So I gauged each persons reaction and for those who seem interested in knowing what's it all about; I shared the high lights of my 3 years of research, and they get it. With my husband and daughter I've educating them every step of way and they are optimistic but at the same time they keep the risks involved in the back of their minds. I never asked, but mom and my sis offered to come to lighten my household load and help me focus 100% on recovery(which doesn't include lying on my butt all day...lol). I do however have another sister and brother in law who don't support me and just yesterday they noticed i lost some weight, i explained it was do to the pre op diet and their like "you see you can do it by yourself just keep doing what your doing". I'm like "are you kidding me I am practically starving myself and if I don't keep myself distracted I could eat one of my own arms off". Lol, then I said "besides you guys know every time I get on a diet I always cheat". My brother in law straight flat out said "by doing that sleeve thing you are cheating". At that point I just walked away and said sarcastically "ok thank you for your support". He later apologized. So do what you must to get healthy just prepare for some not to be on board. Good luck and good health to you.

I find that my family is hesitant. I'm just beginning the VSG process (first appointment is today) - and my mom gets this disgusted look on her face every time I talk about it.

Being overweight my whole life' date=' I've never experienced life on the other side, when I didn't feel held back and super self conscious and insecure. I've never looked in the mirror and not seen a chubby face with a double chin. I'd like to experience that. I thought, as she's been overweight all of her life too, that my mother would be understanding and supportive. Instead, she is having a really hard time with this. I understand the surgery is risky, and things can go wrong, but I don't want to get to be her age and have all of the regrets/issues that she has.

Am I a bad person for feeling that way?[/quote']

No, you're not wrong for feeling like this, My parents and majority of my family are like this, with the exception of my husband and kids. I rarely talk to my parents because they are toxic, they aren't supportive, over critical and undermining. I don't need that. And neither do you. Surround yourself with supportive and caring people who trust you and your decision and will be there for you every step of the way. Good luck on your journey!