Hello all... I've been lurking around this site for a while. I've finally decided that I want to have the band done.........However, I've mentioned it to a few people and the reactions I got blew me away. EVERYONE has something negative to say, like, why would you do that? you don't need it!, (I'm 100 lbs overweight), why don't you just diet and exercise!there are too many complications!, on and on and on........ but when I mention that the diabetes, high blood pressure and heaven knows what else,is waiting down the line for me will kill me sooner than the surgery will, they have nothing to say. I am not looking for a quick fix, I diet and exercise, but always end up gaining the weight back. I feel that this will help me lose the weight and KEEP it off!!! So i've decided when I do have the surgery I'm not going to tell anyone except my fiance. Did any of you experience friends and family reactions like this?

I get the same thing. I think sometimes friends and family think that everytime I see them, they'll see less of me. One particular person asked me if my banding wasn't working. I asked why and he told me that it didn't look like I had lost anything since yesterday! Geez......... I guess I didn't know that this was a magic cure and the weight would disappear overnight! LOL. But, God Bless them. I reckon their intentions are good even if they don't understand.

Sherilynn

I didn't read all of these posts but I did read yours. It stuck out like sore thumb that your friend said "why don't you just do WW AGAIN!!!!" Hello, isn't that what we are all sick and tired of. I joke that WW just built a new wing on their building funded by ME.

Good luck with your journey

I had almost 100 to lose, my MIL was the negative one. I was self pay and she couldn't justify the expense. She is just horrified that I spent that kind of money to better myself when, in her mind, I should been able to just do it myself. She said the same thing that many others here heard..."why don't you just diet and exercise?"....in the meantime she is one of the people who have only had 5 lbs excess to ever deal with....she has no idea what we go through.....and she still wouldn't understand. To her it should be as simple as just following a diet and doing daily exercise.....any obstacles, difficulties, etc would never occur to her.

Carol

I once complained about my weight and my MIL said the same thing "I don't know why you don't just diet and lose weight"

I simply replied "and I don't know why you don't just stop smoking, you know its killing you"

I once complained about my weight and my MIL said the same thing "I don't know why you don't just diet and lose weight"

I simply replied "and I don't know why you don't just stop smoking, you know its killing you"

ROFL

What a great response.

ROFL

What a great response.

i agree - what did you MIL say to that?

Had the same problem. The only person who is really supporting me is my soon to be wife, and thats because she wants one too. Stick with it!

I told my mom I wanted to be banded, and she told me I was crazy, all the people her friends knew had complications and died or almost died. It scared me, but I cant stop thinking about how better I would feel about myself. Ive struggled all my life with up and down weight Im 36 and tired of worryiing and being fat. I need a friend to talk to, someone who knows what I,m going through, Then Im made to feel guilty cause I spend my husbands and kids money if I dont get insurance on me, Help me someone who knows what Im talking about, and can help me get started in my search for happiness.

I'm also having a surprisingly negative response from my wife, which continues even after explanation of the different types of surgeries. I did not expect this and it has got me flustered. She has a fairly wide circle of friends and she is getting all kinds of input from them about how so-and-so died from this surgery, etc. She's afraid I'm going to become a vegetable. I told her vegetables are good for you and that did not elicit the jolly response I was hoping for. I'm really finding this whole thing quite distracting. I was hoping to spend these weeks wallowing in my own pre-surgery jitters and confusion, and instead I am finding that my total focus is on convincing her what a great idea this is. Very disconcerting.

AltaLomaGuy: Do you live in Alta Loma, CA? I also live in Alta Loma, CA (Rancho Cucamonga).

Does anyone else live out toward this area? Audree

Hi Felicia:

Yup... some people are very negative, I have "friends" who , when somebody tells me that I look great ,get kind of upset and reply by saying "Yes, but she got an operation". C'mon, like after the surgery was easy to be good and eat right, to stay motivated and excercise pleeease if envy had a color for sure they would be green!!!

Enjoy your succes, because you work hard at it!!!! Congrat's Felicia

Maro...

Hard to believe a friend would say "BUT" she had an operation! I'd be mad, sad and mortified - if you're a private person about the whole thing. What you DEFINATELY should do is BE PREPARED for the next time she says something like that. Figure on, "Yea, but I'll get skinny from that operation, too bad there isn't a band for IGNORANCE!" Ohhhhhhhh, that burns me.

Exactly the reason why I have decided not to tell anyone except my husband, that was a big decision for me to make but now I am glad after reading here.

I have told very few people so far and here's why. There were some negative comments being made in the office about someone else who had lost a lot of weight (i.e. "She must have had that surgery instead of losing it the hard way").

When I told my boss, she said she didn't think I was "big enough" to qualify for surgery. Keep in mind she considers herself to be a "glam-ma" not a "grandma" and is SO much taller and thinner than my stubby little rotund self. Naturally skinny people just don't get it. It's not their fault, they just haven't had to fight the same war all their lives that we have!

As for anyone else I tell about the surgery who choose to be negative--they can knock themselves out. I know this was the right decision for me, and that's reallly all that counts!

I have told some folks - and I haven't had any negativity issues...

But I have been fairly selective in who gets to know. So, maybe I have just been lucky.

I guess my overall attitude of Not Giving a Damn about what anybody else thinks must broadcast pretty strongly - cause nobody who knows has been negative at all - and I am PRETTY SURE that some of those folks have talked to others.

I guess I am just lucky. Marjon - sorry you are having trouble with your DW.

Maybe she is insecure and thinks you will get so thin you take of with a young skinny chick.

Try a little extra love. I wish you could wallow in your own pre-surgery jitters too - but maybe it's better this way...

Hugs!