Having a hard time...
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Where do I begin... first, I have been eating way more than I should. I finally have my appetite back. I never did feel the lack of hunger that most talk about on this site. It seems I get hungry maybe 1hr to 2hrs after eating. I went to my doc appointment last week and according to him I lost 3lbs since my last visit a month ago. I was really disappointed and also confused because my home scale said I lost much more e.g. 7lbs. I have fallen off the exercise track, just can't seem to get myself motivated. Slipping back into bad habits eating junk or foods that are not good for me e.g bread, cookies. Yesterday I went to a pig-roast, there was way too much food there and everything was delicious; not that I ate everything - my eyes are much bigger than my stomach literally, but I did overat as quite a bit came up. In fact I seem to do that a lot - throw up food. I have a refrigerator ful of left-overs and things to drink. The problem is that I can't eat most of what's in the fridge (waste of money) or the beverages that I once enjoyed e.g. juice, etc. It seems I'm always thirsty. I hate water so it's a challenge to drink it. I drink Vita-Water or Gatorade or rather they are the only beverages that I can actually drink without feeling discomfort. I miss drinking sodas so badly, but haven't had one since surgery. I'm actually still scared to drink those, whis probably a good thing. I try to drink Protein drinks a little more than I once did, but even they will often just sit on my stomach until they work their way through. In fact, I'm sitting here now trying to keep some food down. I primarily eat meat, because vegetables still don't go down very easy plus I still struggle to get my protein in. I try very hard to stay away from starchy foods not because I exercise any willpower to do so, but I know they will come back up to. I would feel like a loser, but I AM losing! At least every other day while getting dressed, I find myself putting away another pair of pants that no longer fit. People have commented favorably on my looks (many simply say "have you done something with you hair??) In short I like how I look, but I don't like the fact that I don't seem to be sticking to any sort of diet. Finally, I feel a little sad today and I am an emotional eater; so I find myself constantly looking for something to eat but what I can eat, I don't want. What I shouldn't eat, I want; but quite often what I do eat - comes back up. I just can't seem to pull myself out of this funk or slump in terms of my program. Thanks for listening to me. I encourage responses of support or something...