Knowing what you know now about weight loss surgery, would you do it again if you had the chance to make your decision again? Choose your option in the above poll, and then explain it in the discussion below!

Well... I think, that is the root of your regret... Your feeling "Shame" and "embarrassment" has lead you to put yourself in some kind of isolation..

Don't you think??

You, in my opinion, need to tell someone!

You have done nothing to be ashamed of.

For me, I agree. A secret loses its power after it is no longer a secret bottled up inside me. I have been fairly open about my WLS, especially with people who are large. I don't want them to think I have been able to accomplish this "on my own" because I don't want them beating themselves up of they are trying to lose weight without this tool. The people I have told have had a reaction that surprises me. A common response is "good for you". "congradulations, that took courage".

You have made an investment in yourself, so far this investment is not paying off for you, I hope you are able to get some therapy, this change takes more than working w/ your nut & doctor....my eating is/was mental not for hunger. I don't know you but I sure do care about me. What you are going thru could have been me. It took me 5 yrs to become willing to give up my food. I did a lot of counseling to get to this point.

I am just saying, in my instance, I should have relied on doing this on my own. I lost 30 lbs to start and was well on the way at the time of surgery. My wife had the surgery and she thinks it is great. She is 8 lbs from goal. I bought into the hype and went along. Also, I was already several hundred dollars into the program and listened to the storyline. I guess if you can't push yourself away from the food table, are lured by media food ads and do not have the motivation of self restraint then go get the surgery. I just feel, in my case, I should not have jumped into this as quickly as I did. My fault and I blame only myself. Will live with from now on as there is no turning back. Close to lunch time now. Try eating an egg and hope I don't puke it back up.

Your honesty is to be commended.

PDX - Nope, you didn't sound belittling & I do appreciate your thoughts. I was trying to show support to the one person I've seen post on this site who regrets the surgery, albeit for different reasons. I am happy that 99% of the people on this site love WLS and are happy; however, there is a few of us that make up the 1%

Surgery is for some people; it isn't for others. Despite over a year of preparing, reading, & researching the sleeve, I thought I knew what I was getting into, but clearly for me, it isn't for me. Now it is too late. I have to deal with my decision and make the best out of my new life. I just hope to help those who are in the 1% to not go through what I am by speaking my truth.

I knew surgery is only a tool. I am fat, not stupid. I never thought this would be easy. I never thought I'd magically lose weight. I know you have to routinely work with your dr, your nut, your dietician, etc - and I am! Despite my mobility issues, I am walking daily & hitting the gym. I struggle with Protein & fluids, but I do better each day. Losing weight takes 2 things - eating less & moving more. I didn't lose 100 lbs three different times in my life without realizing that...I am a food addict & food lover. I use food. I abuse food. I was even dependent on food. I chose surgery because of fear of becoming bedfast because of my mobility. To do it again? I still say no...even though I have no hunger, no thirst, no cravings ...things I prayed for...I would not do it again! People can say what they will about the mental/emotional stuff & they have some valid points - but at the end of the day in my world - surgery wasn't for me...but living with it is my new reality...

I have lost 24 lbs my first month & been extremely lucky from everything I've learned since last May up to this very day on this site...and I think I will reach my goal one day in the next year or so (if I am lucky & don't develop problems)...but knowing what I know now...no, I'd not do it again...

I'm sorry if I missed a post somewhere, but could you please share why the surgery wasn't for you? (ie, specific reasons you are now unhappy).

I would do this surgery again because I was unable to lose the weight any other way. I had tried and tried and tried. On my 2nd PRE op appt w/ my doctor I discussed w/ my doctor that I should maybe go home and try for another year to lose the weight. He told me to go ahead, do that if I wanted BUT he said I would be back in 2 years with another 50 lbs on. The part that gave me enough nerve to get it was he said "the reason diets fail is we become too hungry & can't sustain the restricted food plan for as long as needed to get 100+ lb's off. It took me 5 yrs to go from "no, I am not ready to give up my food, I will just regain if I have WLS".....to "OK, I am now at my wits end, I am now ready to fight this addiction."

If I could have avoided WLS & been a happy person as I was, that is what I would have done.

I was not happy, my world was getting smaller & smaller. I actually was not aware how small it had become until my world started blossoming.

I am so sorry to the people who have had the horrible physical complications. I am thankful you have the nerve to speak out. Information is power.

Haha!! ok I think I get it now!!

You just plain and simple did not think and made a bad choice!

Wow that sucks...

Not saying that to be mean..

It really does suck.

it is obvious that you have jumped to a conclusion and did not understand the depth of the posting. Several of your postings contain "not saying that to be mean" which readers really understand as being mean.

Alex, I still feel that we need a regret sub forum so people have a place to talk...

is this a request so an honest debate will not be addressed on this thread?

I would do this surgery again because I was unable to lose the weight any other way. I had tried and tried and tried. On my 2nd PRE op appt w/ my doctor I discussed w/ my doctor that I should maybe go home and try for another year to lose the weight. He told me to go ahead' date=' do that if I wanted BUT he said I would be back in 2 years with another 50 lbs on. The part that gave me enough nerve to get it was he said "the reason diets fail is we become too hungry & can't sustain the restricted food plan for as long as needed to get 100+ lb's off. It took me 5 yrs to go from "no, I am not ready to give up my food, I will just regain if I have WLS".....to "OK, I am now at my wits end, I am now ready to fight this addiction."

If I could have avoided WLS & been a happy person as I was, that is what I would have done.

I was not happy, my world was getting smaller & smaller. I actually was not aware how small it had become until my world started blossoming.

I am so sorry to the people who have had the horrible physical complications. I am thankful you have the nerve to speak out. Information is power.[/quote']

So true I am so greatful for this site it has helped me so much when I feel like no1 else understands

it is obvious that you have jumped to a conclusion and did not understand the depth of the posting. Several of your postings contain "not saying that to be mean" which readers really understand as being mean.

is this a request so an honest debate will not be addressed on this thread?

I honestly do not think Laura was trying intentionally or unintentionally to be mean. She has a kind heart and has helped many with their post op struggles.

Now let me see if I can offer some advise...

I know where you are coming from losing the 30 lb pre op. I too lost 30 lb pre surgery to drop from 360 to 330 and felt great having done this without surgery. However, not once did I consider I could do it on my own because of past failures.

You feel that with enough will power and determination you could complete the job with diet and exercise. You may be right , but a vast majority of people, including myself, lose and gain the same 30, 50, 100 lbs over their adult lifetime because their resolve wanes either during weight loss or during maintenance. And then they gain and repeat the cycle. Only the next time your starting weight will be higher. I got really depressed because of this insanity of not being able to reach my ideal weight. I have done this 4-5 times in my adult life.

I appreciate the VSG in that it "breaks" me at surgery so I am forced to discover and build good eating habits over the first 6 habits. I am forced to go through the different eating phases and distance myself from the bad eating habits of the past. This change in behavior takes time to stick. It cannot be done overnight or even in a week.

Even if my health-based resolve were to wane in the future, I still have these habits as my foundation and the sleeve as insurance in case I do eat too much. The sleeve will not allow that. I am looking forward to all the positives of enjoying life again...

Keep calm and carry on. You made a good choice. The regrets you are dealing with now will get smaller and smaller as your successes get larger and larger.

I agree with Fiddleman...Laura didn't mean anything bad. & I actually think you are confusing some of my comments for hers..I am the one who said several times "I don't mean to be mean...but" & I honestly wasn't being nasty...I was just curious & trying to get all the info in an attempt to help you! I think you have a negative mind set now & automatically take everything said in a negative light because you are expecting it! I'm sorry you are having trouble with your decision & pray that you get the help you need to correct whatever is going on with you...& your mind set! It can't be fun living with you when your in this negative mode.

it is obvious that you have jumped to a conclusion and did not understand the depth of the posting. Several of your postings contain "not saying that to be mean" which readers really understand as being mean.

is this a request so an honest debate will not be addressed on this thread?

I'm sorry if you feel attacked...

I asked Alex for a new sub forum here,

because there are a lot of people, not just you, that regret this surgery. people that regret it, not because they had complications but for various other reasons.

It should be a subject that can be found easily, and not buried in various threads.

It's important information because this surgery is becoming so popular (for many different reasons) that people may not be getting the full picture of what it entails and changes... and yes sacrifices that need to be made.

I hope that in the future you can come to peace with your decision.

Personally, I think the intent of this thread is to discuss if you would do this again, I think everyone gave their honest opinions honored the intent. I also don't think there are a lot of people who just are totally dissatisfied or regret it. Statistically (using Alex's numbers and subtracting the people who have not had surgery), a little over 3% of the people wouldn't do this again, and a little over 3% of the people would have a different surgery, but would do it again. Combined, that accounts for about 6-7% of the overall population of respondents. The overwhelming majority would do it again. All opinions matter here. While it's not a scientific study, I think it's probably pretty good anecdotal evidence, and valuable to someone considering surgery. Having said that, people are answering the question whether they are a week out or a year out, and that impacts the way they answer, so the results may be skewed based on that. I also think the respondents feelings are just that - feelings, which all are entitled to, and have provided because the question was asked. I think it would be great to do a follow up and see how we all feel in a year. Some of us might answer differently, pending the results longer term. Obesity is a life long fight, and even with something as "permanent" as VSG, we will all need to continue battling our demons. Only time will tell if the surgery will make a permanent, positive impact on us as individuals to determine if we would, in fact, have weight loss surgery again.

I would like to add that if you are on a mobile device, you do not even have the option of participating in the "pole" part of this thread. It is only seen if you are on a PC.

I honestly do not think Laura was trying intentionally or unintentionally to be mean. She has a kind heart and has helped many with their post op struggles.

I have never seen Laura make a rude or spiteful post. In fact, she is one of the more caring people here.

I have never seen Laura make a rude or spiteful post. In fact' date=' she is one of the more caring people here.[/quote']

Spiteful? No.. But I can be a cranky old lady sometimes

I admit I really don't fully understand these regrets.

I really want the "regret" people to have a platform so maybe there will be less of them in the future.. At the end of the day this is a business and a "big money making" business. some people may not be getting the full picture going into it.

Laura trying to save the world again..

I know it will not stop some people from making this "mistake" because I've seen pre- ops only wanting to see the positives and discount any downsides, and strangely enough I understand those people too. Part of my obesity problem is due to instant gratification and impulse control

Issues.

...Several people have asked several questions of me above...please feel free to message me, and I would be more than happy to answer more about it. I feel I have given quite lengthy and honest answers above & on other similar threads, but I am more than willing to respond in a message if you would like & I especially respond to those who are pre-op always. I will not be silenced about my feeling on wls. People can be as rude and obnoxious as they would like with me...it just strengthens my resolve! This surgery is NOT for everyone. And just because I state that, doesn't mean I didn't think, didn't read, research, attend several support groups, interview those who had wls, participate in therapy, know the risks, know the hair loss dangers, know the consequences, realize the physical changes, realize the mental changes, etc etc etc - ...everybody is different. Everybody's perspective is needed on a forum such as this. Everybody has a right to be here & speak their truth.

Last week, I started a thread called Manners Matter - I am untechno, so I don't know how to bring it back up...but in a nut shell I stated - if you read someone's post & you cannot say anything nice or supportive to that person - or the person's thoughts/feelings/questions are so 'anti' to your own that you can respond in a appropriate manner...then, please don't respond to the person, period....I tell my middle schoolers every day ' if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all, period'...I think some 'adults' on here need to hear the same thing! If you are a part of the 98% - great for you. If you are a part of the 2% - like myself - hopefully each day will get better for us. Either side of the coin, ought to be able to express themselves freely & comfortably without being berated or asked asinine questions...or just frankly bombarded with rude comments. From various threads on regret - which I always attempt to reply because I feel true regret - I have noticed it is always the same people who have the same negative response to anyone who regrets or just even questions any aspect of the surgery...so maybe look in the mirror and ask yourself why you always feel compelled to respond...you say you are the 98% & you love your sleeve...then, why respond?? Go on with your happy sleeve to the next thread...Why not allow us 2% people to help others in the 2% without your negativity???? Just a suggestion...

I waited 3 years to make up my mind if this surgery was for me; I did not go into it looking for a quick fix to my overweight life. I spoke with many people at support groups including the nurses who run these support groups and had WLS themselves so I knew this was not a quick fix like so many uninformed ignorant people I know who seem to have all the answers without the facts. This surgery takes a lot of bravery on our part for just having it done and hoping a praying that all turns out well in the end. I am 6 weeks post op and I still have my ups and downs and wonder if I did the right thing. I know in my heart of hearts like so many of you we do question ourselves after having this surgery but I can tell you I am at a point in life that if I want to have some kind of life and failed attempts at weight loss on my own that I needed to do something about myself. I have sleep apnea, borderline diabeitc, sore painful knees and ankles, shortness of breathe everytime I moved or even taking shower in the morning and feeling of isolation and depression. At 6 weeks post op I am still having trouble eating certain foods, sometimes I feel like I have no energy at all even with 67 grams of protein a day but I can tell you that I am just starting to walk better so much so that I get on a treadmill 3 times a week. I can take a shower in the morning and I am not worn out and I can walk outside very slowly but this time I am not out of breathe like before. My blood pressure is getting better and I am no longer prediabetic. It is going to take me a full year to get my mojo back but I am welling to overlook and deal with some issues along the way to get to a healthier life style and weight. I would do this all over again!!!! A support group is really important to belong too and it is also really important to work closely with a nutritionist who works with WLS people. If you are really having some serious issues stay close to your doctor and work to get resolved. We can do this!!! Most of us have had the surgery and there is no looking back and beating yourself up just look to make it thru today and look to the future to better days and ask questions from those who have the right anwers or who can tell you who to talk with. Don't give up!!!!