I was always surprised when people would tell me how they were discouraged or other people were unkind to them on this website. I never understood that until today. From now on I am sticking to family & my surgeon's office support groups. Since I am apparently too dumb to figure it out on my own, can someone please tell me how to delete my profile from here? Thanks.

Is there a BLOCK button? If not we need one!

There is

What is all this negativity that various posters keep posting about. Ok, so there are posts like "why lie," "popcorn" and " cookie" threads but, come on, we all are in this together just let it roll a little. No one is anymore superior then anyone else. We are all friends who have a huge overlapping set of common attributes. I am a little surprised and see VST as a very positive community environment. It is not only a place to get support, but also a place to commune with fellow sleevers. I am sorry, I just do not see or experience it. Anyone want to give some concrete examples that are leading some folks by disowning VST? I admit I do not read everything, but I do a fair amount of reading as well as posting in many different forums. I think it is a great place to be.

To the rest of you it appears that I indeed can not delete my account. Those who made me feel the way I do right now were addressed directly. Those of you who encouraged me to stay...thank you. I might lurk around the boards here & there. :ph34r: I will encourage other people if I can' date=' but I will not ask for help here anymore.

There are some good people on this site & I appreciate your kind words & input. Well, it almost 3AM on the East Coast. I turned into a pumpkin & need to roll to the bedroom. I don't know who is going to take my dog out. [/quote']

Honestly, I think you should give the VST community a second chance. Maybe folks are a little more snarky or have a tinge to heir post, but I feel that most (all?) do not really mean it in their heart. I think we are all connected more then we are disconnected. Please reconsider.

When I first was new on this forum I got reamed by hundreds of people because I posted something about drinking alcohol post op too early. I guess it was the way I put it that people didnt like. I was called an arrogant b***h ' date=' a troll, and even got hate emails. Things like that don't really bother me. I'm still here !!!i get a lot of great information on here andI really like this forum .I'm not gonna let those people interfere with my life. Stick around and don't sweat the small things [/quote']

Yes, I do recall that thread. Surprised you acted as calmly as you did in it. That one was rough, worse then a bar fight.

I have been called many nasty things for what I posted, also. It didnt take long for me to see I should have said the same thing, but way differently. I sincerely apologized and now I always try hard to word my responses without any hint of judgement or condescending words.

WELCOME EVERYONE! We all learn something from everyone here whether you're a newby or oldy

Yes' date=' I do recall that thread. Surprised you acted as calmly as you did in it. That one was rough, worse then a bar fight.[/quote']

I like bar fights lol

As someone who has taught online courses where the only form of communication is via posting on forums and e-mail, I know that it can be very easy for people to misinterpret the intended tone of what one wishes to express. Therefore, it's a good idea to keep a couple of things in mind when using forums:

1) Try to be very aware of how others might interpret the tone of what you are posting, and

2) Remember when you're reading and responding to posts that you don't have the physical cues like facial expression and tone of voice to clue you in on the full intent of what people really mean to express.

If think we all should try to use kid gloves when posting, but try to be like a duck' (let it roll off your back) when reading them, and just try to give each other the benefit of the doubt.

*Hugs all around!*

I sometimes miss the days from my early manhood when a heated debate turned into a fist fight outside. After punching, gouging, and strangling on the ground for a while the anger was dissipated. Arms on shoulders we came back in, better buddies than ever. Blunt force trauma apparently is a cure for ambiguity.

I guess I've blocked out the bloody nose, abrasions, and loose teeth part.

When I first was new on this forum I got reamed by hundreds of people because I posted something about drinking alcohol post op too early. I guess it was the way I put it that people didnt like. I was called an arrogant b***h ' date=' a troll, and even got hate emails. Things like that don't really bother me. I'm still here !!!i get a lot of great information on here andI really like this forum .I'm not gonna let those people interfere with my life. Stick around and don't sweat the small things [/quote']

I remember that

I sometimes miss the days from my early manhood when a heated debate turned into a fist fight outside. After punching, gouging, and strangling on the ground for a while the anger was dissipated. Arms on shoulders we came back in, better buddies than ever. Blunt force trauma apparently is a cure for ambiguity.

I guess I've blocked out the bloody nose, abrasions, and loose teeth part.

LOL.. That's funny! My husband has always said to me, "why can't you girls just duke it out and be over it...but ooooh nooo... ya gotta keep flapping your lips"

Don't let anybody drive you out of Dodge Dee Dee. We all have our struggles and no one is perfect. When we screw up, we know it. Admit it, deal with it, then try to keep those screw ups to a minimum. I am in a better place these days, but veered off for awhile. I am now being super strict with myself so that I can get to goal. Hope you stick around.

Oh for goodness' sake, no need to flounce. If you don't want to be on VST, it's as easy as disabling your notifications and not visiting the site. If you want to limit your activity it's up to you.

Only you can make the choice to let replies you don't care for bother you. In more than three years I've seen my share of rude or insensitive posts and had some directed at me and even made a few myself. But by and far I've read thousands upon thousands of polite, helpful and genuine posts here from people simply trying to help one another. If you choose to let the very few outweigh the benefits of the very many, that's entirely your choice, certainly.

I've needed a few of my own VST breaks over the years and it's fine to step away and come back later. In the real world, we have to deal with people that aren't as friendly as we'd like, too, and we don't get to just block them or delete them from our lives.

It's a huge mistake to venture onto a public forum full of strangers and expect people to answer your questions in a particular way. Saying "that's not the kind of support I was looking for" doesn't cut it here. We are a community of thousands of people each with a different view and experience and yes, a different way of phrasing things. It's one thing to be trolled or called names, but pointing fingers at people because they didn't respond with the cuddly hugs that were expected is unfair and unreasonable.

I encourage you to "try to stay" but the reality is that people come and go here. Grace and I don't always agree but it's a fact that she spends a lot of her time here on VST trying to help people and she'll definitely tell the hard truth (from her perspective), and she should not have to apologize for that.

Not all support is rainbow sparkly. Some people here respond best to a nice, swift, virtual kick in the pants. Clearly you're not one of them.

~Cheri

I think most people in this forum intend to help others with their replies. Occasionally there is a post that makes me shake my head in wonder. As a newer poster, I haven't become immune to those posts and posters like many of you whom are seasoned. Granted, it is super hard to be 100% sure of someone's tone in the written form. But these are some things I don't get....

1. Preachy posts - Out of all of us on here, we probably were assigned a 100 different variations of a pre op/post op diet! We were given dozens of different sets of aftercare instructions. We have been operated on by hundreds and hundreds of different surgeons. My point - your way is not the only way. Share your opinions when posting a reply, instead of cramming it down our throats.

2. Holier than Thou posts - if someone is struggling with something (binges, stalls, Protein intake, etc) don't share anything if you can say something uplifting and helpful! For example, if you don't ever struggle with craving the wrong foods, good for you..,but do you need to brag about it to someone that is struggling? Probably not.

3. No sense of humor posts - someone started a light hearted post the other day about good commercials and how tempting they are. Then all of a sudden a good natured thread turned all into a debate about how commercials did not make us fat. I would imagine any person in that thread already knew that, but everyone still got lectured. Lighten up!

This should be the one place everyone can exist with our being judged and picked apart, IMO. When each of us strives to be that kind of a poster, then this will be a much more productive site. I like the people who are fun natured and light hearted on here. They inspire me and lift me up and make me want to engage in this forum. These same people will engage and inspire other newcomers.

Amen to that sister!!

Oh and my personal favorite when another person tells someone you obviously have a deep seeded problem with overeating and you will fail! Ummm don't we all have a problem with food???

I mean except for me. I ALWAYS ate healthy high quality food! I'm just big boned

I just want to be kind and would love others to be also, I don't think that's asking to much. Having tact does not mean

Rainbows and butterflies it just means having tact.

No the best is when someone yells at you for praying for them

Oh gosh I hope I don't start a debate

*looks innocent and runs*