I was always surprised when people would tell me how they were discouraged or other people were unkind to them on this website. I never understood that until today. From now on I am sticking to family & my surgeon's office support groups. Since I am apparently too dumb to figure it out on my own, can someone please tell me how to delete my profile from here? Thanks.

If you really want to delete your profile, why wouldn't you just research the FAQ's or logout and never come back!?? I'm calling you out on some passive aggressive behavior stuff.

If someone upset you, direct your comments to them and have it out! We are adults and this is a public forum. Obviously i don't want to speak for you or your motivations but I'm here to learn About myself from people like me, who are in the same/similar situation. I hope that people like Grace and others tell me straight. It's up to you what you do with it. Be hurt if you want, but say it and deal with it.

Who do you think you are? Passive aggressive?! I have never had any interaction with you in the 3 months that I've been on here. I did address the person I had the problem with. I looked under FAQ & didn't find anything. Simply asking for help from people who might be more tech savvy than myself. Nothing more. So, how about you MYOB!

I'm going to give you a pass on this one, because you don't know what your talking about...

But she is dealing with the person she was talking about, right here without you coming around stirring it up!

Honestly Laura, I sort of appreciated it.

I feel thrown under the bus, and I also feel that I am the target of said passive aggressiveness which is pretty far out of line all things considered. I'm not even sure you saw my original post because I took it down immediately at the first sign of trouble because it was obvious my intention was not to be offensive.

I apologized there, I apologized here and I followed through with what I said I would do like an adult. I have not had one single ounce of reciprocation for having gone so far out of my way to apologize for something so silly and small in the first place. I'm not a victim, so I will live to see another day without doing something dramatic like declaring I am leaving the forums for good, but I DO feel like the target of this passive aggressive behavior and honestly its not cool. I was not going to say anything about it but you telling that woman that it was not about her kind of upsets me because this IS passive aggressive and I am the target, and I do not appreciate it.

For the record I have apologized multiple times, and I am not really excited to lay down and be the purporter of some great misdeed. I do not want DeeDee to leave the forums, but if she does it is completely of her own doing, she has not been run off by a pack of angry trolls. She was run off my a woman suggesting she take her health into her own hands and help herself get better.

To the rest of you it appears that I indeed can not delete my account. Those who made me feel the way I do right now were addressed directly. Those of you who encouraged me to stay...thank you. I might lurk around the boards here & there. :ph34r: I will encourage other people if I can, but I will not ask for help here anymore.

There are some good people on this site & I appreciate your kind words & input. Well, it almost 3AM on the East Coast. I turned into a pumpkin & need to roll to the bedroom. I don't know who is going to take my dog out.

If you really want to delete your profile, why wouldn't you just research the FAQ's or logout and never come back!?? I'm calling you out on some passive aggressive behavior stuff.

If someone upset you, direct your comments to them and have it out! We are adults and this is a public forum. Obviously i don't want to speak for you or your motivations but I'm here to learn About myself from people like me, who are in the same/similar situation. I hope that people like Grace and others tell me straight. It's up to you what you do with it. Be hurt if you want, but say it and deal with it.

Wow. Ok, so you value people telling it to you straight right? Your post was mean spirited and totally inappropriate. And as long as you are diagnosing people, may I suggest you take a look at yourself. What did you accomplish by that post?

Passive aggressive or not, DeeDee needed support. Maybe she was reaching out hoping someone would convince her to stay or maybe she really did want to delete her profile and get away from any more attacks. Everybody was stepping up to plate, realizing they hurt her and hoping/asking her to stay. NOT YOU....for some reason you found it helpful to further alienate her. Good job.

I don't even know what transpired, but I can guess.... DeeDee please don't leave. The positives here on VST outweigh the negatives, I promise. xoxo

Grace,

I did read your original post... And you know what I thought about it... The only thing I can say is I am weary. And I must sleep now, I hope you guys work it out.

Laura

Wow. Ok, so you value people telling it to you straight right? Your post was mean spirited and totally inappropriate. And as long as you are diagnosing people, may I suggest you take a look at yourself. What did you accomplish by that post?

Passive aggressive or not, DeeDee needed support. Maybe she was reaching out hoping someone would convince her to stay or maybe she really did want to delete her profile and get away any more attacks. Everybody was stepping up to plate, realizing they hurt her and hoping/asking her to stay. NOT YOU....for some reason you found it helpful to further alienate her. Good job.

I don't even know what transpired, but I can guess.... DeeDee please don't leave. The positives here on VST outweigh the negatives, I promise. xoxo

I just want to say that all this is completely unfair. DeeDee is being extremely passive aggressive and I am the target. I was never mean to her, she made yet another post (one of many) talking about how she binged on terrible food again. I, having been friends with DD in the past made a post stating that I was starting to see a pattern and that she might MIGHT consider seeing someone to see if there was a deeper issue here than just messing up a few times.

Thats all.

Thats what brought on all this. It's manipulation of anyone who didn't see the first post because she really did a good job of making herself look like a victim but I am not keen to lay down and be the bad guy when I IMMEDATELY deleted the post, explained myself more clearly, apologized, and apologized here more than once. Please don't be fooled.

DeeDee today I realized after having a chat with a certain someone that I come off as pretty cold and clinical. That is never my intention but it's a byproduct of my work. I try to be as clear and concise as I can and sometimes seeming brusque is a side effect of that and I am really sorry because I must have come off as a real ass to you but it wasn't on purpose and I do feel bad that it's got you this upset.

Honestly Laura, I sort of appreciated it.

I feel thrown under the bus, and I also feel that I am the target of said passive aggressiveness which is pretty far out of line all things considered. I'm not even sure you saw my original post because I took it down immediately at the first sign of trouble because it was obvious my intention was not to be offensive.

I apologized there, I apologized here and I followed through with what I said I would do like an adult. I have not had one single ounce of reciprocation for having gone so far out of my way to apologize for something so silly and small in the first place. I'm not a victim, so I will live to see another day without doing something dramatic like declaring I am leaving the forums for good, but I DO feel like the target of this passive aggressive behavior and honestly its not cool. I was not going to say anything about it but you telling that woman that it was not about her kind of upsets me because this IS passive aggressive and I am the target, and I do not appreciate it.

For the record I have apologized multiple times, and I am not really excited to lay down and be the purporter of some great misdeed. I do not want DeeDee to leave the forums, but if she does it is completely of her own doing, she has not been run off by a pack of angry trolls. She was run off my a woman suggesting she take her health into her own hands and help herself get better.

Grace, this is getting a bit out of hand now, Don't you think? First you admit (although it was not on purpose) that you came off as "an ass". Your words. Not mine. Now you feel like I am being passive aggressive & targeting you? I addressed my issues with you as far as I'm concerned. Bygones. I am an adult woman who hates negativity & drama. My friends are few, but loyal & trustworthy. (As a side note they are mostly men as I find that women have far too much drama! lol) I just feel like I don't want to be in any form of communication that brings negativity into my life. Period. As you may have seen in my post a few minutes ago I can not delete my profile. I will check the boards periodically & see if I can be of any assistance to others. I will not ask for help, though. This comes not only from your "assessment" of me. Someone else jumped on the bandwagon here when they didn't even know anything about what the discussion had been in a previous post. Really helpful. I directly addressed them as well. I do not feel that I need to justify myself any further. I am headed to bed as I will not let myself lose sleep over this. I harbor no ill will. It does me no good. I think that we will be fine if we just steer clear of each other for awhile. I'm sure that you will agree. Best wishes on your journey.

Dang this spiraled really quick like. I just want to say, I love each and every one of you...

That is all well and good, I don't have a problem admitting that my first post was not as nice as it could have been, otherwise I would not have offered to take it down, but if you honestly say that you dont have any communication that isn't positive (what you view as positive) that could be part of the problem. If you cannot take someone holding a mirror up and saying to you honestly that something you are doing, and doing over again, and again is a problem then how are you supposed to grow as a person? It's best to keep a circle of friends who will once in a while make you sit up straight, get a little uncomfortable and deal with a problem instead of telling you that its OK and that tomorrow is a new day. Tomorrow is never a new day if you never deal with the issues at hand, which is why things seem to be on repeat for you.

The women who jumped in and said something actually did see what happened on the other post, thats why she said something.

Also, since you are taking shots at women. I wish I could remember what person said it but there was a famous quote that you have to watch out for women who do not keep female friends, because its a sure fire way to tell that THEY are the ones who can't play nice and I find over and over again that statement being true. If all women bring you nothing but drama consider that you are the common factor. You asked me if this is out of hand or not, and honestly, I am in complete control of my emotions reguarding this situation, so no, for me it is not out of hand, I just respond as I see fit because I care about the way I am perceived.

I just want to say that all this is completely unfair. DeeDee is being extremely passive aggressive and I am the target. I was never mean to her, she made yet another post (one of many) talking about how she binged on terrible food again. I, having been friends with DD in the past made a post stating that I was starting to see a pattern and that she might MIGHT consider seeing someone to see if there was a deeper issue here than just messing up a few times.

Thats all.

Thats what brought on all this. It's manipulation of anyone who didn't see the first post because she really did a good job of making herself look like a victim but I am not keen to lay down and be the bad guy when I IMMEDATELY deleted the post, explained myself more clearly, apologized, and apologized here more than once. Please don't be fooled.

#1 I have not posted "many" times that I have binged. I have had 2 incidents in the past 90 days. "Many" is a long stretch.

#2 I resent the fact that you are completely downplaying your role in this & saying that I am portraying myself as a victim. Only the people who actually saw your first post know what you said. It was hurtful & I told you so. As far as I know that is not passive aggressive .

#3 Every time I try to accept one of your apologies you post another inflammatory statement.

#4 The fact that you would say that I am attacking you & manipulating others shows that you know absolutely nothing about me. No friend of mine would ever think that.

#5 I am D-O-N-E with all of this

Like my boyfriend says, "Just because someone invites you to a fight it doesn't mean that you have to show up for it"

So, bad mouth me until your heart is content. As for me, I am going to go cuddle up with my Oh So Wise boyfriend & wake up to a fresh start.

Ladies, this is a SUPPORT website.

That is all well and good' date=' I don't have a problem admitting that my first post was not as nice as it could have been, otherwise I would not have offered to take it down, but if you honestly say that you dont have any communication that isn't positive (what you view as positive) that could be part of the problem. If you cannot take someone holding a mirror up and saying to you honestly that something you are doing, and doing over again, and again is a problem then how are you supposed to grow as a person? It's best to keep a circle of friends who will once in a while make you sit up straight, get a little uncomfortable and deal with a problem instead of telling you that its OK and that tomorrow is a new day. Tomorrow is never a new day if you never deal with the issues at hand, which is why things seem to be on repeat for you.

The women who jumped in and said something actually did see what happened on the other post, thats why she said something.

Also, since you are taking shots at women. I wish I could remember what person said it but there was a famous quote that you have to watch out for women who do not keep female friends, because its a sure fire way to tell that THEY are the ones who can't play nice and I find over and over again that statement being true. If all women bring you nothing but drama consider that you are the common factor. You asked me if this is out of hand or not, and honestly, I am in complete control of my emotions reguarding this situation, so no, for me it is not out of hand, I just respond as I see fit because I care about the way I am perceived.[/quote']

Didn't see this until after I had posted my last reply. I do not take shots at women. Men have a fist fight & then go have a beer or play basketball. Most women just can't stop with the gossiping & back biting. That's just the way it is. Yes, my closest friends are mostly male, but I am an ultra liberal feminist. It is one of my personal goals to do whatever it takes to gain equality for women in all aspects of life & getting issues like rape and human trafficking to be taken much more seriously in courts. That's only the beginning. So, please, just leave me alone.

Whew! I was gonna join to get and receive support. However, after reading all the drama, I'm gonna pass. Maybe I'll start a "No Drama" thread.

Aussie Lady was right 'cept she said "ladies." Children is more like it.

Whew! I was gonna join to get and receive support. However' date=' after reading all the drama, I'm gonna pass. Maybe I'll start a "No Drama" thread.

Aussie Lady was right 'cept she said "ladies." Children is more like it.[/quote'] Please do not view this thread as a representation of this site. I have been here 3 months & this is the first negative experience that I've had. I am sorry that this is something that you're seeing as a new member & I am sorry that I am a part of it. There are a lot of supportive people here. This website was invaluable to me my first 2 months post-op. I personally love the suggestion of a no drama thread. Please stay on this site & share. I would feel horrible if someone didn't get support because of the ridiculous bickering in this thread. This is not the norm. Promise!