My husband is overweight, have sleep apnea, diabetes, and high cholesterol. He's taking his meds but not using the CPAP machine. I so much want to convince him to do the surgery also so that hopefully we can both get healthy and enjoy life together especially since we will be empty nesters soon. Both of my great kids will be in college then. Am I the only one that wants their spouse/significant other to take this journey also?

No, I've been trying to talk my hubby into it too! He hasn't been big as long as I & gone thru all the diets I have...so he thinks he can do it on his own! I'm trying to help him & at least with me not eating much we don't go out to eat like we used to & since I'm eating healthier...& cooking healthier...he gets better meals! We will see how it goes!

I think this is a very sensitive subject, getting healthy for your spouse may not include surgery. Have you even asked him if this is something he wants. 9 times out of ten when people do something that they feel forced into, they tend to resent the person who pushed them. Getting healthy and changing ones life style is a personal thing, you still can get healthy together regardless of whether he does it diet wise or surgery wise. You know your spouse better than anyone on this site and I wish the best for both of you. Also congrats on your upcoming surgery. Good Luck

My husband is maybe about 40lbs overweight. What I realized after my surgery is that he is mimicking everything that I have been doing, the way I eat, the excersize, my overall journey. What I am saying is, if he doesnt want surgery then maybe you can teach him without him knowing how to eat right. How to better take care of him self. I know most men do not like to be told what to do, so maybe you can do it other ways

I asked my husband to get it done with me last year. I think that and a couple of health problems that he had got him thinking about his life and he lost all of his extra weight since then. I don't think he is eating enough but I'm proud of him for doing it without the surgery. He has more will power than I do so I hope he is able to keep it off.

Now if I can just get my surgery so I can join him on the skinny bench.

My husband is overweight' date=' have sleep apnea, diabetes, and high cholesterol. He's taking his meds but not using the CPAP machine. I so much want to convince him to do the surgery also so that hopefully we can both get healthy and enjoy life together especially since we will be empty nesters soon. Both of my great kids will be in college then. Am I the only one that wants their spouse/significant other to take this journey also?[/quote']

I know nothing about your relationship, but had my spouse talked to me about wls before i myself was mentally headed to that realization myself, i would not have heard love and caring about my health in the words. I would hear... You are not good enough the way you are..and dug in my heels. Maybe leading by example is best. Get your surgery, let him see you come through it successfully and watch you become healthier. Allowing him to come to the best conclusion for himself on his own might be best. The greatest lesson i ever learned came from my son when he was very little. He was supposed to sing a special part in a song at a school or church function. He was so good but i kept worrying and would have him constantly practicing. He finally said he did not want to sing the part and finally said he must not be good or i would not keep having him do it over and over. He would have done an amazing job with not a word from me, but i made him feel less...worthless. He did not take my words as I meant them, he heard a very different message no matter how carefully i worded it. Believe me.... It was a lesson well learned that has remained with me for many, many years. Good luck with everything ahead of you.

me and my wife did the WLS at the same time it was the best thing ever now we are on the same plan and doing it as a team !!

My husband is maybe about 40lbs overweight. What I realized after my surgery is that he is mimicking everything that I have been doing' date=' the way I eat, the excersize, my overall journey. What I am saying is, if he doesnt want surgery then maybe you can teach him without him knowing how to eat right. How to better take care of him self. I know most men do not like to be told what to do, so maybe you can do it other ways[/quote']

That's cute. My husband does the same thing. He even stopped drinking with his meals! And yes he is losing weight as well. He is eating healthier. I think you are right sometimes men just need help knowing what's healthy and I know at least with my family depends on me and what I cook for him too. But he's doing great, he's 100% supportive and losing weight with me!