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Ready for THE date but cant make myself make the call

I'm self pay for a revision that is needed...how needed I can't get the surgeon to say other than things will get worse. The office said I could come in Feb 7th for pre surgery testing and a class then surgery feb 14th. One day I'm ready the next day I think I'll just wait. I don't KNOW WHY I cant committ. Maybe it's all the money that I really can't afford..maybe I don't want to go through the fear of another surgery and relearning to eat again.

I've read stories about others that are fearful about the surgery...that's not my primary problem. Just typing this out is helping me understand that it has more to do with being off of work and losing money there and the loan I will have to pay back to have this done. I have a family so I feel I'm selfish in using all this money for me to be thin.

This forum has been my research method so I've come here to see if someone can make sense of my jumbled thoughts.

Thanks to all

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Dee, if you are concerned about the money aspect of self pay, have you thought about a revision in Mexico? I know my self pay surgeon in Mexico does revisions. The cost is only $500 more than the normal cost for surgery (which is $4,750). I know when I was looking at self pay here in the states, I was looking at $16k, and that didn't even include hospital stay. I know going to Mexico isn't for everyone, but just a thought. Good luck to you, and don't feel bad or selfish! This surgery is to help you live longer as well as to be thin, and I don't think anyone in your family will complain to have a ehaltheir you!!

I don't know the reasons for your revision, but I do know that you are not being selfish...if it were just a vanity thing, maybe...but this is your health...to want to be healthy to be around as long as possible for your family and enjoy fully your life with them, certainly is not selfish..if your surgeon is recommending the surgery and says it's needed, he most likely is correct...I am fearful of having my surgery as well (first time VSG), but I think fears are normal and certainly not selfish--I would put that thought away as quickly as I could and just focus on the health aspects....you might want to be more assertive in getting your surgeon to outline the reasons for the revision

I was self pay-- those are short term issues we trick ourselves into believing. The REAL issue is fear of losing food forever--- I'm on the other side and I didn't lose food, I gained respect for it as nourishment not comfort for lonliness, scared, boredom, fear, reward for doing good-- it is food--- the sick relation with it continues-- the learning its ok will be daily. I allowed myself to Mourn the loss of the relationship and move on to healthier!!

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Thanks to everyone for answering...I do know what it's like to have my Farwell meal amd work through all of that...I had a lapband in 2007. It's an ongoing progress with food issues but any WLS makes it doable as in loosing weight before always ended in a failure. I do know the reason for the revision just not how long I could put off the surgery. The reason...prolapse of my stomach through the band, hiatal hernia, dilated esphogaus AND gaining weight.

I truly am fearful about having surgery in Mexico...I know many have had wonderful experiences..it's just not for me.

It's so nice of you all to care enough to post.

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