She has gone back and forth for about a year on whether to get the sleeve or not.

She is a foodie and has trouble with not being able to eat certain foods again. That is the opposite of me, but I am trying to convince her that she does not need to abstain completely and certain foods she will be able to eat again after 6 months.

She is also worried about surgery as has never done it before. I have explained the process of it from prep room to recovery room.

The main reason she wants to get sleeved is to get pregnant. We have been trying for 5 years and I have heard of women becoming more fertile after losing excess weight. She is BMI 54 and is really looking forward to being more active ( loves rowing for crew). We do not have any kids, so no worries about that post sleeve. I will be helping as much as I can after her surgery but my advise is to invite one of our mom's over to help and be on call. I do need to work so will appreciate any help.

I have given her a lot of advise and have been trying to be a good example for her with my own sleeve journey. She comes to all the support groups 1 x a month.

Is there any advise you can give to put her mind at ease and to know this is a good decision?

She has gone back and forth for about a year on whether to get the sleeve or not.

She is a foodie and has trouble with not being able to eat certain foods again. That is the opposite of me, but I am trying to convince her that she does not need to abstain completely and certain foods she will be able to eat again after 6 months.

She is also worried about surgery as has never done it before. I have explained the process of it from prep room to recovery room.

The main reason she wants to get sleeved is to get pregnant. We have been trying for 5 years and I have heard of women becoming more fertile after losing excess weight. She is BMI 54 and is really looking forward to being more active ( loves rowing for crew). We do not have any kids, so no worries about that post sleeve. I will be helping as much as I can after her surgery but my advise is to invite one of our mom's over to help and be on call. I do need to work so will appreciate any help.

I have given her a lot of advise and have been trying to be a good example for her with my own sleeve journey. She comes to all the support groups 1 x a month.

Is there any advise you can give to put her mind at ease and to know this is a good decision?

Mate my wife and I consider ourselves foodies. My wife is a coffee roaster for a living. We like good food, cooking, cook books, food shows, cooking lessons, eating out ........... you get the picture!

My relationship is better with food now so I can do all that stuff and feel even better about it because I'm not a slave to it.

We also eat even better quality ingredients now, because I'm a cheap date! So I think I'm a better foodie now than I was because it's all about quality, not quality and quantity.

I know you know it's the best decision she'll ever make!

Have her join this forum. Then she can read all about the questions she has that she can't even think of to ask you right now.

After 5+ years we turned to ivf. Problem was mostly with me, not my wife. Now two awesome girls age 2 and 5. Wish we could do more but age catching up with us because we waited so long to get assistance.

Thanks everyone for your responses. Very helpful. She has started logging into VST and reading the pregnancy topics.

After 5+ years we turned to ivf. Problem was mostly with me' date=' not my wife. Now two awesome girls age 2 and 5. Wish we could do more but age catching up with us because we waited so long to get assistance.[/quote']

I've been cleared in this case with sperm analysis. Apparently, she does not have anything medically wrong. So now we are going to go down the route of losing excess weight.

Mate my wife and I consider ourselves foodies. My wife is a coffee roaster for a living. We like good food' date=' cooking, cook books, food shows, cooking lessons, eating out ........... you get the picture!

My relationship is better with food now so I can do all that stuff and feel even better about it because I'm not a slave to it.

We also eat even better quality ingredients now, because I'm a cheap date! So I think I'm a better foodie now than I was because it's all about quality, not quality and quantity.

I know you know it's the best decision she'll ever make![/quote']

Thanks, she was happy to hear this response about quality versus quantity.

Since being sleeved I have become quite a food snob. Lol I work at eating orgAnic stress free food. I don't want my food doctored up with sugars, fats, and trying to reduce salt. I love salt. These ingredients make our food addictive.

Happy to hear your wife is opening up to getting sleeved. She can become so much more healthier and still enjoy her food. Who knows maybe she'll join me with being a food snob. LOL.

I think its great that she is seriously looking into this. Not only for her, but because this means your child(ren) won't be adopting your(mine) unhealthy views of food.

Since being sleeved I have become quite a food snob. Lol I work at eating orgAnic stress free food. I don't want my food doctored up with sugars' date=' fats, and trying to reduce salt. I love salt. These ingredients make our food addictive.

Happy to hear your wife is opening up to getting sleeved. She can become so much more healthier and still enjoy her food. Who knows maybe she'll join me with being a food snob. LOL.[/quote']

I hope so. Being free of the Jedi powers that food (and advertising) has on us is so liberating.

Obesity definitely causes infertility! Hopefully losing the weight will be what it takes to get pregnant. I personally would not spend $ to try IVF if your wife is still obese! I would get sleeved and lose the weight then you probably won't even need IVF. Being pregnant and obese has so many complications associated with it.

Obesity definitely causes infertility! Hopefully losing the weight will be what it takes to get pregnant. I personally would not spend to try IVF if your wife is still obese! I would get sleeved and lose the weight then you probably won't even need IVF. Being pregnant and obese has so many complications associated with it.

Thanks for the info!

It is very helpful and she agreed with your comments when I told her. In fact, she has said there are many fertility treatment areas who are biased against obese women and will not help them other then saying lose weight. That was her final straw on going down the IVF route. We will be going to a Swedish seminar with dr mcmahan (sp?) Tomorrow. He and his entire support team (yay brittney) are the best! (my opinion only, of course)

I fInd that doctors are quick to blame weight for any number of medical issues when they don't have another answer readily available. Sometimes they are right though.

I was told several years ago that I wouldn't be able to have anymore children. I was fine with that, I had 2 daughters and wasn't planning to have anymore... Well I started loosing weight, trying to get healthy. Without even trying, I got pregnant. My son will be 2 on Friday. He was a surprise, but we are so blessed to have him. If I hadn't lost weight, I know he wouldn't be here. Unfortunately during and after my pregnancy I pigged out, and regained the weight. Now I'm sleeved and looking forward to my life with my husband and three kids!

She is lucky to have your help and knowledge. I'm sure she will do great!

At least you two will be in the same boat!!! Greatest support group ever!