On Day 1 (12/21) I thought, "What have I done?" Day 4, Christmas Day, was rough - tears, etc. - but I got through that. It's been exactly one week since my surgery and I'm doing really well. Incisions are healing nicely, Vitamins are going down well, Protein targets are being hit almost every day...couldn't ask for more, right?

Then why am I still in tears at random times and filled with regret? I want to get some potato skins at happy hour with my husband. I want to eat a real dinner with him. I want a Coke on ice.

I am filled with regret over what I have done to my body (i.e. removing the majority of my stomach), especially knowing I lost 13 lbs on the low carb, high protein diet I did for two weeks prior to the surgery. I am kicking myself thinking that even though I was in a gown and they were ready for surgery when they did that weigh in, I should have called it off and just continued down the weight loss path myself.

Again, I'm filled with regret, even though I am doing very well by all standards. I didn't get it. I didn't get how the nutrition changes could help me lose weight yet still feel fulfilled. I didn't get until now that my caloric intake will always be extremely low. I'm terrified for what this means for the rest of my life.

Anyone else feeling like this?

I feel like i could have wrote a number of these posts, I feel so similar!

Thanks for the feedback ladies! Feeling encouraged more than before

I was sleeved on the 12/19 I have lost 23 pounds as of today. I cook everyday for my family now since I can't eat the food but at the same time it's great to see them happy.

I did the paleo diet for 1year lost 48 pounds I was weighing 286 at that time . I turned to the sleeve because the truth is my head hunger was stronger and found myself gaining the weight back.

I hate to see my husband eating alone but one day this is all going to be the best thing I have done!!! It's just to early in the game to be able to say it.

Remember this is only temporary torture and you will be able to eat again! Keep your head up it has to get better!!

Alamo and Lisa - Thank you, thank you, thank you. I so appreciate your responses and perspectives, as well as everyone else's. It truly does help to feel like I'm not alone. In fact, it was my wonderful husband who suggested, after talking me through yet more tears, that I hop on the forum for some support. Thank you!

I'm missing food too, although I haven't felt regret yet. My surgery 12/21 and I'm on liquids...which is getting very old. Today I tried some watered down oatmeal and I got through a few spoonfuls and was stuffed.

Once all the dietary restrictions are past and I'm able to eat real food I know I will be fine. I'm looking at my surgery as freedom....freedom from diets, freedom from self loathing..... I intend to eat anything I want ( within reason!) but in much much smaller portions.

Good luck, hang in there. I bet in 6 weeks you will feel so much better about your decision.

Rocionelizalde - I feel similar guilt about my husband eating alone. Sandwiches at first, but I'm insisting on him eating 'well' again, so I was in the kitchen tonight. Luckily for me right now, I don't have children. I can mostly focus on me.

Dana - Thank you. I'm already sick of liquids too, although it sure was a blessing to add 'cream of' Soups and pudding to my small menu of Jello and shakes. In another week I can add a scrambled egg. Two weeks - canned tuna. After that, whatever I can tolerate. I'm hoping to have that aha-I'm-thrilled moment then. Thank you for taking time to respond - and best of luck to you.

I know everyone says it gets easier, trust me it does. I am 2 1/2 months out from surgery. It's already so much better than it was in the beginning. You will be able to eat and more as time goes on. You just won't be able to eat large quantities in one setting. Having a supportive husband will really help you along the way. You can still go out to eat but maybe just order an appetizer in the early months. Also over time you can get more and more calories in, you will be just fine. Just hang in there!

Wow! I just got in bed and turned on this app for the first time.today. my family and I were all watching a movie and I am just an emotional mess today. I have done nothing but hold back tears all day and I guess that's why I came up to bed so I could let it all out. If there was a way to reverse this surgery I would be in there begging tomorrow! I know that I would have most likely. Never done this on my own since ive been trying for 15 years but I sooooooo regret every aspect of it. I am now dairy intolerant. STILL having trouble getting foods to stay down so I am fearing that I have a sleeve that is too narrow at the top and will be on a liquid dietfor the rest of my life. Ate 2 baby spoon bites of yogurt and it came right back up plus more saliva than I thought was possible. Boot throw up mist like regurgitation. Have this foamy saliva in my mouth all the time and all the excess is making me sick to my stomach. Have a lingering g post nasal drip cough that's making my main incision site sore from all the coughing. Seems like I have a really good day where I can just tell myself "it is all short term. You will be able to eat real food again soon plus be healthier and skinnier" and then there are days when I don't est or drink hardly anything because I cant drink anymore broth with unjury. Anyway. Sorry for the blabbing but I wanted to let you know you are not alone. I am right there with you to the tee!!! Such a wonderful coincidence that your post was the first I saw today! I suppose we just need to allow ourselves to cry it out and try to hang in there!!!

Thanks so much, Neata. Affirmation is helping me so much. My head is up again and I'm ready to face another day of liquids and possible tears. : )

I feel like we all are so much alike and have been through the same things and emotions. I'm 5 months out and never thought I'd feel the way I do now. Down from 267 to 198 today. I worried about "enjoying" food again and, as my username shows, I have a sleeve of steel. You will be able to enjoy potato skins again, just wait until you're on "all foods". I can enjoy anything, just in smaller portions. It took until about month 4 before I felt like I was conquering my food addictions. It's MUCH easier to say no to things now because of the restriction I feel. Soda is my biggest challenge. I haven't had a drop since surgery, but when I'm around it, I still feel like a "popaholic".....but I don't touch the stuff and it IS getting easier to miss. I'm probably not as strict as most on eating nothing but healthy foods, I want to still enjoy life, just in smaller portions. So far, it's working. My body tells me when I've had enough, restriction-wise and carb-wise. Just listen to your body. It gets better, easier, lighter, sassier, happier, wiser, cooler......and again, easier!!! Stay strong and keep a support system around you!

Steel - Thank you so much. Your post is exactly what I needed to hear tonight. (My husband thanks you too...)

Alamo and Lisa - Thank you' date=' thank you, thank you. I so appreciate your responses and perspectives, as well as everyone else's. It truly does help to feel like I'm not alone. In fact, it was my wonderful husband who suggested, after talking me through yet more tears, that I hop on the forum for some support. Thank you![/quote']

I love this forum it's more informative than my drs office

Maybe those of you who regretted the surgery were not at your very bottom when you chose surgery, perhaps there were still diets that would have worked for you. I was at my lowest low. Give up my diet coke addiction? Done! Small price to pay for my life back. I have been overweight my entire life. As a child my mother would take me to TOPS in a church basement to weight in with a bunch of old fat ladies and if I lost weight I would get a trinket. I never had a boyfriend, no prom date. When I went to the WLS consult if they would have asked me to sell my soul to the devil to end my battle with dieting and failing I would have in a heart beat. I am not saying you are wrong to have regrets, I cried like a baby when my softball team got Whataburger and I didn't get any! But if you are just a few weeks out give it time before you decide if his was right or wrong. You will be able to eat potato skins again but instead if eating 9 you will eat 1 or 2 and be full and happy and skinny!

I haven't had my sleeve surgery yet but I lived with the band for four years and was very successful with it. I learned to live without things like sushi, soda and bread. It was so worth every sacrifice to be able to shop and find things that not only fit but looked fantastic on me. To be able to bend over and tie my shoes. To not buy tops based on how long and blousy they were so they covered my stomach and hips. To feel sexy again (at least with clothes on LOL). To be able to get out of bed in the morning and not hobble in pain from plantar fasciitis, knee pain and hip pain.

I ride a motorcycle. People who ride motorcycles love to go ride to destinations that usually involve food. That's all well and good except when you are ashamed of how you look so you don't go at all. I'd rather deal with being jealous of those who get to eat all they want than to not be able to enjoy life because I'm ashamed of my appearance.

There comes a point in time when you will hopefully realize that there are things in life that are far more important than food.

Those of you feeling regret early after surgery, be strong and hang in there. It was awful for the first few months post-op . . . I felt miserable! I hated being limited to bland, mushy foods . . . even though I wasn't physically hungry, I missed the ability to eat the things I liked (like spicy foods, crunchy foods, etc.). However, now at 16 months out, I'm able to eat just about anything I want. I still try to focus on my protein - lean meats, cheese - veggies, and fruits - but I don't deny myself the things that sound good. I've eaten potato chips, I've eaten sweets, I've had a few sips of soda. I remind myself that I didn't get obese from a handful of potato chips or a bite or two of chocolate - I got obese because I ate a whole bag of chips, 2000 calories in one meal from Taco Bell, or a supersize meal from McDonalds. Now, I choose to make good choices. If I have to eat fast food (because let's face it, sometimes our schedules don't permit otherwise), I eat a cheeseburger with half a bun from McDonalds, or a fresco chicken soft taco from Taco Bell, or a small roast beef sandwich with only half a bun from Arby's. I enjoyed tastes of all my favorite things during Christmas dinner, but concentrated on the protein - and once I had my protein, I was too full to eat too much more. It's a mental thing, and with my sleeve, I'm able to enjoy a few tastes of all the things I love and still remain compliant and on track with my weight loss. This is easily the best thing I ever did in my life for myself. So those of you who are early out from surgery, hang in there, because it does get better!!

If I had not had significant health issues such as diabetes type II, severe sleep apnea, aggravated hypertension, and poor blood circulation in my feet and hands, I would not have had this weight loss surgery. If my obesity had been strictly a matter of appearance, I would have simply continued to buy larger pants every few months or so… but it wasn’t.

I knew in my heart and soul that if I didn’t do something other than diet and exercise, I would make my young wife a young widow. I didn’t think it was fair or morally correct of me to eat myself to death over the course of the next few years as both my parents had. My father and mother died at ages 62 and 61, respectively, from obesity-related illnesses and, at the rate I was going, at age 57 with a BMI of 38, I knew I was right behind them.

One of the deciding factors for me was reading how much post-operative patients can actually eat one to two years after surgery. Yes, the short-term (first three months) recovery process is hell but if those patient reports are accurate, I can certainly be content on a slice-and-a-half of pizza or a 6-inch Subway sandwich in one sitting. Am I really going to feel deprived two years from now because I can “only” eat a half-foot meatball marinara sandwich instead of my previous one-footer? The answer is no, not if I’m not hungry.

I’m in my third week of post-operative recovery now and am looking forward to moving past poached eggs, Laughing Cow cheese, and pureed Beans as my main source of sustenance. I am still struggling with chronic diarrhea and subsequent dehydration and I fear I may be taking Imodium for the rest of my life. Yet, honestly, the only regret I have is that I didn’t do this a year-and-a-half ago when I first ventured into the surgeon’s office for an initial consult. At that time, I was interested in the gastric band. My surgeon nixed that idea in five seconds as ineffective in the long-run and recommended either the gastric bypass or sleeve. It took me over one whole year (not to mention another episode of weight loss and regain) to wrap my head around the idea.

With the 14lbs I have already lost, my sleep apnea has disappeared. I hadn't had a good night’s sleep since I lost some weight a year ago (of course, I regained all of it by this past August). Now, I am waking up refreshed and alert, and—no matter how few calories I consume on a daily basis (sometimes as few as 850 or so)—much to my amazement, I am never hungry. That alone makes this very unpleasant adjustment period worth the price of admission. Even if my stomach eventually dilates to a 16-ounce capacity in two years as my surgeon advised (and I hope to hell it doesn’t), with 85 percent of the hunger-producing hormone ghrelin gone from my body, I know that I will be able to permanently keep the damn weight off this time around with relatively little effort.

Related, based on everything I’ve read, those of us who are “grazers,” i.e., perpetual “snackers”—who eat not out of hunger but as a matter of habit every time they pass a bag of chips or Cookies or whatever—have a special burden to bear and challenge to overcome. The vertical sleeve gastrectomy is not very effective in altering that behavior over the long haul, certainly not after all the swelling recedes and the stomach relaxes and dilates.

If despite the initial weight loss and the future promise of freedom from chronic morbid obesity, you are still feeling “OMG, what have I done?”, you might really want to consider some form of therapy to grief and mourn your old relationship with food or, eventually, you will return to it. It's unlikely such patients will reach goal and they will very likely begin to regain some of the weight. The restrictive benefit of this surgery only seems to be significant up to one year (and less for others).

Best of luck with this very unpleasant early recovery process and, hopefully, forever changing the way you think and feel about food.

Okay, now it's time for my lousy plain poached egg and one wedge of Laughing Cow cheese. Yuck. Smile.