So I was carpooling with my BFF this morning. She is the only friend who I have told that I'm in the process of getting this surgery. She and my parents are the only people I've discussed this with. She's overweight as well, though not as heavy as I am, she's still quite heavy. I don't really talk to her about it much, but she asked me how my seminar went on Monday. So I tell her how it was, how I already knew the things they were discussing, that I was anxious to see the MD, etc. When I'm done, she says, "I just don't think I could do that." I ask her why not? And she responds "I just couldn't give up fooooodddd," with such passion, as if she was talking about the love of her life.

Now, she's a girl who loves to eat. I get that. But hearing her say that out loud, the way she did... it felt like I had just been snapped out of a trance. That was me. That was me when I was her age (she's 7 years younger than I am), saying the exact thing. And it strengthened my resolve to say I don't want to be a person like that anymore.

I've already changed so much in the past few months in preparation. Saying no to things I would have never refused before. Working out. Tuning into my actual hunger... and it just made me a little sad for my friend. To be so thrown by the idea of having to be on a liquid to solid staged diet, and I explained that part only lasts about 8-12 weeks out of your ENTIRE LIFE. It's not the end of the dang world! Part of this is due to her own naivety about surgery in general, and the differences between them. I'm sure she has no idea what kind of surgery I want (although I've told her).

So, I told her in my most patient voice, "Well, hey, I know where you're coming from, and I hope that you don't get to a point where you have to do something like this. But if you get to be my age and feel like an old lady too soon, you might change your mind about how important that food is to you."

Now, I worried she might take that a little harshly. But I figure it's better than me saying what I WANTED to say, which was "Well, I know where you're coming from, but when the time comes that I'm the smaller one, you might change your mind about how important that food is to you."

Does anyone else worry about how their friends and family will react to the "new you"? I suppose a side effect of losing weight is how it can potentially alter your relationships. I'd love to hear some other perspectives on this...

When I was earlier in the process I definitely worried more. Now I figure that those who are truly benevolent forces in my life will Celebrate with me, & the snakes will expose themselves.

347*294/285/135 (*347HW/294SSW) | @Mwrarr | mwrarr.wordpress.com

When I was earlier in the process I definitely worried more. Now I figure that those who are truly benevolent forces in my life will celebrate with me, & the snakes will expose themselves.

So agree with this. I've told my closest friend who had RnY and I plan to tell the others in our close group at our next get together. I've told my husband (of course), Mom, and sisters, my Dad will worry so he will find out closer to the date. Also, as far as extended family, I doubt they'd care one way or another as long as I am healthy. Extended friends, if they ask I'll proudly tell but I tend not to broadcast everything to everyone about most anything in my life.

I know some of my close friends will worry but that is for them to get past. I can't think of anyone who would down my decision although I know that is a strong possibility. I've come to realize that some people who may seem like they are unsupportive may be masking concern/fear for you. While others will be unsupportive due to their own self-acceptance issues.

I've been in her shoes. My ex-bf had RNY and had an extensive WLS world that I was lucky enough to be part of. I will say that the side effects he had as a result made me think giving up food food wasn't worth all that. He had stinky poop from partially digested food, dumping if he ate something with sugar, and bathroom issues galore. After hearing similar stories from other RNY people, I did decide food was better than that.

Fast forward five years, and I'm 9 weeks out from VSG and I know it was the best thing for me. But that's paritally because I was 25 pounds heavier after so many yo-yo diets I lost track.

Your carpool buddy may get to that point. It may take a number on the scale, tired of crying when trying on clothes, or seeing their parents and realizing that will be her. Honestly, I hope it doesn't. I hope she will be able to get control of her food issues and be healthy and happy without surgery. I wasn't able to do that.

All I can suggest to you is to be a shining example of the VSG. Don't push your weight loss in her face. Don't brag about how much you've lost in such a short time. If she is interested, she will ask questions. Then you can brag away! I think that's what real friends do, regardless of how they lost the weight.

I've been in her shoes. My ex-bf had RNY and had an extensive WLS world that I was lucky enough to be part of. I will say that the side effects he had as a result made me think giving up food food wasn't worth all that. He had stinky poop from partially digested food, dumping if he ate something with sugar, and bathroom issues galore. After hearing similar stories from other RNY people, I did decide food was better than that.

Fast forward five years, and I'm 9 weeks out from RNY and I know it was the best thing for me. But that's paritally because I was 25 pounds heavier after so many yo-yo diets I lost track.

Your carpool buddy may get to that point. It may take a number on the scale, tired of crying when trying on clothes, or seeing their parents and realizing that will be her. Honestly, I hope it doesn't. I hope she will be able to get control of her food issues and be healthy and happy without surgery. I wasn't able to do that.

All I can suggest to you is to be a shining example of the VSG. Don't push your weight loss in her face. Don't brag about how much you've lost in such a short time. If she is interested, she will ask questions. Then you can brag away! I think that's what real friends do, regardless of how they lost the weight.

THANK YOU - for all of that.

Oops! Just realized I said I had RNY 9 weeks ago. I'm happily sleeved! I fixed it in the original post.