I'm getting tired of political arguments, especially since so many of you seem to be conservatives (!) and I'm not. But I'm going to start a thread for women, though men can join in. The subject is pap smears, uterine biopsies (without painkillers), colon checks, mammograms and hysterectomies. I think women should weigh in on the pap smear stuff. I am 59 and have had a whole lot of pap smears and they are always negative. They will always be negative. Why am I having to have pap smears? My doctor is a woman and has a cartoon of a cat that is apparently being electrocuted on the ceiling above the pap smear table that says, "Relax." It's nice to focus on the cat because she has learned a new way to do pap smears that hurt. Joy! And to think for years, male doctors didn't think the cervix has any nerves. I have news for them--it does.

In a vain hope of finally getting a hysterectomy, I have had two uterine biopsies which hurt a whole lot. They do these without painkillers. As I said on another thread, the next time a doctor suggests one of these, I will tell him that I'm going home to get my pliers and when I hurt, he'll hurt a whole lot. I never have gotten a hysterectomy because unfortunately nothing is wrong with me. I think we should be able to have voluntary hysterectomies because we can get ovarian cancer and won't know until it's too late. And with ovarian cancer, too late is pretty fast. I know people will write and say hysterectomies are awful, but I figure it's six weeks off of work and I won't be able to wait on Mother. What is so bad about that?

Then there are the mammograms. My female doc has a cartoon with a guy with his penis in the mammogram machine. The caption is something like, 'If men could have mammograms." It's funny. I think every woman who has had a mammogram appreciates this cartoon. The fact is that men get breast cancer. Why don't they have mammograms? It could save lives. And they could have their boobs squashed to about a centimeter thickness and see how they like it. I know it can be done because I had a friend who had fried egg breasts and she could get a mammogram though it was difficult for her to get her breast in the pinchers. In her case, I think the mammogram involved that side of her chest. They just squashed her ribs in there.

Men comment that they have to have prostate (prostrate for the idiots out there) checks which involve anal penetration. Well, I have to have my colon checked which involves anal penetration. This is a new wrinkle that my doc, Donna, insists on. I had a colonoscopy that was less invasive. Poor men.

I think it's time that women demanded equal time for men with embarrassing bodily examinations. I think doctors should thread something up men's urethra just for annual checkups. The docs can make money and the men can sympathize with women for a change. Of course, this would be done without any painkillers.

Lord, I feel better.:biggrin1:

My, my Jo Ann. You are even grumpier than I am and that's saying a lot. We have a yappy dog in the neighborhood, but I don't mind it because my four dogs are so obnoxious that I'm surprised the neighbors haven't shot them. What I'd really like to dropkick is my boss's head into hell. How's that for grumpy?

Bitter,

Whatever floats your boat and brings a smile (even a wicked one) to your face. I just got my call the office to schedule your colonoscopy letter. I'm on the three year cycle. Nurses always comment on how cheerful I am at the colonscopy. You bet your bottom I am. The procedure itself is NOTHING compared to getting ready for it, plus they give you "happy juice!"

Jo Ann

Bitter,

Whatever floats your boat and brings a smile (even a wicked one) to your face. I just got my call the office to schedule your colonoscopy letter. I'm on the three year cycle. Nurses always comment on how cheerful I am at the colonscopy. You bet your bottom I am. The procedure itself is NOTHING compared to getting ready for it, plus they give you "happy juice!"

Jo Ann

I agree! The prep is what I hate! The colonoscopy itself is a piece of cake. My GI guy usually has his own done with no anesthetic, but he gives the rest of us something via IV that amounts to about 10 margaritas. I am out before they even have a chance to dim the lights. (I'm a cheap drunk....I mean patient.)

Instead of the standard prep, one of my doctors suggested a clear liquid (water) diet for 3 days.

Since that is about the same thing as I have done after each of my fills, it was the easiest way for me to prep myself.

I have had about 10 colonoscopies, because in 1981 or 82, they found pre-cancerous polyps. That meant multiple colonoscopies for a period of time until finally I am back on the 5 year spacing.

The last male doctor I have ever seen was at my first gynological exam at the age of 17. He said to me "ok, we have a nice little vagina here" and then proceeded to comment on my grooming habits. Yeah. I'm all set with male doctors. lol

The last male doctor I have ever seen was at my first gynological exam at the age of 17. He said to me "ok, we have a nice little vagina here" and then proceeded to comment on my grooming habits. Yeah. I'm all set with male doctors. lol

My mom had never had a Pap smear, until I made her go to the Gyn (not mine, thank God) at the age of 70. My parents had been divorced for many years. My mother never remarried - didn't even date, in fact. From the "business end" of the exam, the doctor asked her how long it had been since she had had sex. She said 1955. The doctor, with his fingers in her hoo-hoo, said, "That's too bad. It's a shame to waste this."

I thought she should have sued the jerk. At the very least, I think I would have peed on him. But hey, that's just me. :heh:

OMG Carlene! It's bad enough to say that, but to a 70 year old woman?! Unbelievable!

Hi Tired Old Man-

You had a colonoscopy in your 30s? I'm soon to be 35, when am I supposed to start having them done? I thought you were supposed to have your first at 50.

I haven't been to a GP in years for a physical. I just go to a couple of specialists for whatever is needed (derma, gyn, etc.).

Just wondering what the word on this is these days.

Hi Tired Old Man-

You had a colonoscopy in your 30s? I'm soon to be 35, when am I supposed to start having them done? I thought you were supposed to have your first at 50.

I haven't been to a GP in years for a physical. I just go to a couple of specialists for whatever is needed (derma, gyn, etc.).

Just wondering what the word on this is these days.

My doctor says age 50, unless you "fail" the fecal exam they do yearly. If you have blood in your stool, they will send you for a colonoscopy, no matter what your age. I was one of those people :think and they made me go back every year, for a while. Now I am at 2 or 3 years. I forget, but it's okay....the Gastro guy sends me a nice little invitation when it's time.

i have never understood why medical insurance will cover an abortion, but not BC. That seems totally inappropriate to me.

I never heard it called a hoo-hoo (down there was more like what I've heard). I absolutely will start using that!

After I turned 50 my doctor snapped on a pair of latex gloves, said, "Happy Birthday," and proceeded to crawl up my rear end. Then she proposed the specialist and the colonoscopy!

My brother, a GP who works in Virginia, recently had one and was pleasantly loaded up with recreational drugs. He enjoyed the business and left the examination as high as a kite. He thought that if everyone had a colonoscopy there would be no more fighting! I suggested to him that I go to the United States for mine and that he buy me an American colonoscopy. My own butt specialist belongs to the Marquis de Sade school of medicine....

I never heard it called a hoo-hoo (down there was more like what I've heard). I absolutely will start using that!

I have a GREAT idea! Let's start a whole new discussion (the one on abortion is in danger of going up in flames). Let's call it "pet names for your vagina".

On Gray's Anatomy, they call it a "va-jay-jay".

I sometimes call it a "cootchie"

My DIL calls hers a "monkey" (nope...never asked her).

Come on ladies....what do YOU call that thang?

I

Come on ladies....what do YOU call that thang?

LOL :heh:

I like vay-jay-jay.

A friend uses "spot" when talking to her daughter.

I sometimes use "Hotchie"

LOL :heh:

I like vay-jay-jay.

A friend uses "spot" when talking to her daughter.

I sometimes use "Hotchie"

Is that "Hotchie", as in Hot Chick, or "Hoochie", as in Hoochie mama?

Is that "Hotchie", as in Hot Chick, or "Hoochie", as in Hoochie mama?

The second - I wasn't sure of the spelling.

I like the word "Hoochie" in general. No idea why.