I am shooting to have surgery the end of February...early March but I am dredding telling my boss. I work in a office full of catty women that gossip and so does my boss. Can I lie about what type of surgery I am having(like gallbladder surgery) ? I think I need to take 2-3 weeks off.

Only you know the answer to your question. I know in my office only bad things would come if they knew I was taking time off for a voluntary surgery. I want to keep my job so there is no way that's going to happen.

When I told my boss I got more support than I thought I would. I am of course a guy with male boss and male counterparts. I thought they would give me "****" but they were very supportive and understood I wanted to get healthier. I was totally surprised.

Only you know the answer to your question. I know in my office only bad things would come if they knew I was taking time off for a voluntary surgery. I want to keep my job so there is no way that's going to happen.

So what did you tell them?

So what did you tell them?

I have heart issue and diabetes issues and have had them for years. I told them I am getting laparoscopic heart surgery to fix a problem brought on by my diabetes. It's not far off from the truth. I'm a 245 pound man who I'm told will shrink down to 180 - 190. Honestly wearing work clothes every day I doubt too many of my coworkers are going to even notice the weight loss. If they do I'll tell them I'm on a special diet related to my diabetes.

It really depends on your office and what part of the country you live in. I'm in the NY area and there is no such thing as understanding here. My office is too small to qualify for FMLA and even if it did they can find a way around it if they wanted. I saw my wife get fired from a law firm as soon as they found out she was pregnant. Suddenly she was getting reviewed every week and there were constant issues with her work and they let her go for 'performance' reasons. No offense to any lawyers here but too many in that profession feel they are above the law and know all the tricks to get around it.

I'm not trying to scare you. Most here seem to have understanding employers. I would just be absolutely sure of the situation before you said anything.

I work for a big company having do with the medical field. There is a very healthy culture around here. I am laying the trail for gallbladder issues/surgery here so that when I tell them I am having surgery there will be no great surprise. There is a woman here in another department who had the band (which wound up slipping and she was very ill) and then the bypass. The tongues were sure wagging when she was out of work (I would never have that kind of surgery, look what can happen, etc.). So, I am opting to pass it off as another surgery and then if questions come later after when the weight comes off (God willing) I can choose to tell who I want. I did confide in the girl who had the WLS and she has been a great resource and friend.

I wasn't going to tell anyone but I told my Chief and one other co-worker. Both have been extremely supportive. It was sort of a relief to tell my boss because then he knew what was going on with me while going through my change.

I think no matter what you do, there will be either a bit of judgment or jealousy or both. It's just human nature, unfortunately.

I find it so amazing how many times I see people on this forum "afraid" to tell their" boss" or coworkers about their surgery. It always seems to spiral into a debate of tell or not tell. I have a recommendation of my own. Be honest, tell your "boss" about the health problems you've experienced let them know that you intend to be a healthier person going forward in life. Not only is this good for you, but it is good for them too. Healthier team members tend to be more reliable & more productive. There are also benifits to all your coworkers. As you lose weight it brings down the offices average BMI which more often than not has an effect on everybodies insurance rates.

After all of this, if the office proves to be so toxic that you can't be comfortable there, then ask yourself. Why do I choose to stay in a toxic situation. Maybe as you are making positive changes in your life, working a job you love, with people you trust might go on your list.

I work for myself so I am not at risk of losing my job. That said if I am approved for the surgery I am going to have to explain my absence to my staff and clients.......still thinking about this but I feel fortunate that my job is safe. Good Luck to all those who may struggle with your bosses and jobs.

Another way to address this situation, and probably what I would do is write an email seating what you are doing & why. Be specific. Tell about the problems you have experienced and what you expect from the surgery and what you are expecting to have to overcome. Say that you know you work with a great supportive team, and thank them in advance for all the support that you know they will give you. Once you've got that written out on your last day at work before surgery send it to everybody. When everybody knows what's up it doesn't leave much room for speculation and gossip. You've also set an expectation of support which will make anybody that is unsupportive look like an ass. And all this is accomplished keeping you in a positive light.

I think that sounds good in theory, but for my situation I know that email would make it half way across the company in record time. While I am not a private person really, I don't wish to give everyone fodder for gossip this one time.

I think that sounds good in theory' date=' but for my situation I know that email would make it half way across the company in record time. While I am not a private person really, I don't wish to give everyone fodder for gossip this one time.[/quote']

That's kinda the point. When everybody knows what is happening, and nothing is left to speculation. What's left to gossip about? You are disarming them by taking away their ability to surprise other people with the news & you are removing their opportunity to sensationalize your story.

You are right I guess. But then after I return the focus is on me with the expectation to see how I am doing with weight loss, and whether the surgery "worked." Maybe it's a chick thing?

I informed my manager as soon as I made the decision to have surgery. She and other select co-workers have been extremely supportive. I only told a few other than my manager because I didn't want to field questions from my other colleagues prior to the surgery because it would be distracting and I needed to focus on work because it was a very busy at work. I have no problem telling everyone that I had Weight loss surgery when I return on Monday. You think people won't notice you are eating like a bird now? LOL

I don't think its the point that I will be eating like a bird..lol.but I am only telling a few family members let alone co workers.