I have so many fears. First of all my marriage is a bit rocky right now mainly because I have been so mean to my husband for so long due to the fact that I am angry with myself. I've been stuck in this horrible body for far too long it is cause pain for myself and others I'm worried it after the surgery when I get my new body that I may lose my husband at the same time not because I am trying to leave him but because he is been so resentful towards me for far too long and I have allowed him to deal with this pain on his own instead of doing something about it. I want to tell him the same story over and over again that everything will be fine I will change and you have nothing to worry about but I know that I can't continue that any longer I just want to be happy again like I was before my mother passed away when I was 19. That episode changed my life I have a beautiful daughter an amazing husband that would do anything for me in all I seem to do is be unhappy. I know that this surgery is not going to fix everything and I will have to work in many other areas but I know that being so overweight for so long has dampered my outlook on life. It is time for a new start a new me a new wife for my husband.

I am no psychologist.

This is why they want you to goto a psychologist before the surgery. it is a good idea to discuss this all with the psychologist, and maybe bring your husband along for the consult. I continue to goto my psychologist ( thanks that my insurance covers it ), it has been a great help.

Sit down with your husband and talk about all you just expressed right here on this board, maybe there is still hope for your relationship with him.

Mynewlife, I too am no psychologist but I do have experience with depression and I hear so much of myself in your post. Obesity and depression are common housemates. I would go find a professional to talk to.

A bit about me, years ago I failed the psych eval for wls and started treatment for depression. I learned I had to fix the inside first. I recently passed the eval and hope to be sleeved in December.

Please take some time for yourself. You do not need to feel this way. There is help. There is hope too. If you would like to talk Plz message me. This might not be the authentic you your hubby is living with now. When i have depressive episodes i can be hell on wheels! Moody and bitchy beyond belief! When it happens i tell my hubby that i am evil and he understands now! Still loves me anyway:). Best of luck!

The support that I am receiving here is more than I could hope 4. I do love my husband with all my heart and I would do anything for him it's going to be a day by day process for me to work on this even moment by moment sometimes. Depression has always been a problem since I was a child but I have love this man since I was 7 years old he has loved me just as long I know that we are meant to be together it is just another stepping stone to get to that point where we need to be we both know how to fight we're both very stubborn and bull headed at times and not to mention we have created a child that is just like us we have these moments of pure bliss as a family so I know the feeling is still there. I do see a psychologist on a regular basis but I have struggled with the depression medication that they give they do nothing for me and yes I have taken them for 60 days at a time and still nothing. I have read up on it that in order for the medications to work you must have a chemical imbalance very different types of depression know and I do believe mine stems from my obesity. The surgery is definitely going to help me come out of the coma that I have merely existing with. I do not plan on being unhappy I plan on being happy with my husband and with my daughter. Thank you so much for your support!

I'd really like to encourage you to get some marriage counciling to help strengthen your relationship before your surgery. Both you & your husband need go into this with your eyes wide open.

I completely understand the dynamic of putting your spouse through hell because you resent yourself. I've done it to my wife for years. The unfortunate fact is that it's going to get worse before it gets better. He needs to see the end game before the play starts. You both need to understand that after surgery your body is going to go crazy. You are going to become more emotional and testy than you are currently. As you burn off the fat, it's going to dump all that stored estrogen into your bloodstream,

Don't let this be a surprise. Us guys are pretty good at dealing with stuff when we know it's coming.

Now that I've put this all down in writing I think I need to thank my wife for putting up with all my crap for so long.