My husband is taking off work to be at the hospital for my surgery and the 2 days after - he is meeting with his boss tomorrow to let him know he is taking time off on those 3 days. What do you think he should say to his boss? Should he advise his boss I am having bariatric surgery or just say surgery and not elaborate?

I am not ashamed to be having bariatric surgery; however, we live in a small town and I don't want to become the poster child for WLS. I want to be able to tell people on my own terms and in my own way. I don't want friends finding out through the grapevine and then being upset that I didn't share this with them before.

Any advice?

Maybe he can tell them that you are having a hernia repair?

No explanation needed. He simply needs time off for personal reasons. If he chooses to say it's medical, they aren't allowed to ask.

IMO, there is no reason to tell his boss all of the details; it really isn't relevant.

In fact, my own boss didn't want to know what kind of surgery I was having when I took time off. Your husband should just say that you are having surgery. That's it!

Maybe he can tell them that you are having a hernia repair?

Interesting that you say that b/c I actually am having a hernia repair done. Husband's concern is how it would look if later it came out that I had WLS and his boss assumed he was dishonest about it. Don't want his boss to think he is untrustworthy.

If it was me all I would say is my wife is having surgery and I needed time off to help while she heals.

Is he taking vacation days or unpaid days?

If vacation no explanation needed.

If unpaid, no details needed. Just that you are having surgery and he would like those days off.

He's his supervisor, not his father, not his priest.

"My wife is having surgery. I'll be gone for three days."

What's dishonest about "my wife is having surgery?" Are you not having surgery? He doesn't have to tell him anything beyond that.

On my leave slip their is a box we check stating something to the effect of taking time to care for a family member due medical or dental. Not exact wording but that is what my husband put. We work in same place different agencies so I know everyone will be up in our business but by law we are under no obligation to tell them exactly whats up.

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He can use sick days instead of vacation for caring for an immediate family member. All he has to say is my wife is having surgery and I need to care for her for a couple of days after so I will be using my sick leave.

All your husband has to say is that he needs the time off to care for you due to an illness. He does not have to divulge the specific info as that is confidential and your personal business, even though it's your husband requesting time off.

I would just tell him that you're taking a short medical leave and that your husband would like to be there for the appointments, but that it's nothing serious. That way he won't worry, knows it's a medical reason, and gives good reason for your husband to need time off. If you want to explain further in the future it still leaves room open to.