Tip-Toes And Eggshells
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I am getting the sleeve done on October 1st, and I have been on my liquid diet for one out of three weeks needed. I tried to stay to myself for the first few days and just kinda hang out where I wasn't going to have the issue of food being *right* there. I worked all week, did my thing, and now I find myself on a day off and I realize that this is one of my problems! I always eat so much more when I am at home with nothing to do. I am happy to report that instead of just sitting around I mowed the lawn, went and got another Protein option, got another of the supplements that my NUT wanted me to get for post-surgery, and I bought a more reliable scale for tracking things. I was active, I was moving around, I was feeling good. I have to tell you, though, my moving around had me driving past places that I would have normally dropped in and ate something at. It felt good to drive right past.
That brings me to the title of my post: tip-toes and eggshells. I feel like this week has been an eye-opening experience for me. My relationship with food used to define me. But now, I can drive past my old food favorites and I know that I am moving on to a better life. I am even ok with smells. (I went to a GNC to get some stuff and there was a Little Ceasar's 2 doors down. Smelled good, but not enough to compromise this.) I went to visit a friend because we haven't had much occassion to see each other in the last week. I mixed up a strawberry-lemonade Protein Shake and figured I was going to be just fine. D, my friend, felt she had to warn me that her house was going to smell like food because she had a meal cooking in the crock-pot all day long. I told her I would be fine and she dropped it. I sat with her and just talked for almost 3 hours and every time she brought up a new topic is was in some way wrapped around food. Finally, D stops and looks at me and actually appologized for talking about food! I had to laugh and tell her it was ok. I think she felt like she has to tip-toe around the subject because I am denying myself solid food right now.
I am not going to lie, I am a total foodie. I love cooking, I love different tastes, I love the social aspect of having a meal with friends. But, I am also at a point where I am not going to let food define who I am. I have thought about surgery before (at my highest I weighed just over 400 lbs) but it was never right for me before. After nights like tonight, I know I am on the right track. I know that it is finally right for me. I think I have seen these called non-scale victories. Well, my friends, I think I have had my first NSV. And I like it.