Again here I sit after having the same insane conversation with myself that I've had a BILLION!!! times, it makes me feel so CRAZY and disfunctional to have this same exact internal conversation, as to should I have this or shouldn't I have this wls. I must admit I was like...yup it's time seriously..it's time to have it done, I had abandoned all fear and thought to myself..self you can do this you NEED to do this your so young, blah blah blah. Then I read a post that for the life of me I CANT ESCAPE!!!! I don't know how to do all that cool stuff where you attach the thread sorry:( but anyhow the woman is pretty much in hell trying to recover from her surgery and has been an unfortunate 1%'er. So I have slowly slipped back into the I can just work out and eat better..ha who am I kidding? I know I want this sooo bad and need this soo bad but I just can not rationalize putting myself and my family through this. It's only the 3 of us my hubby and awesome 11 y/o daughter who has finally accepted that things will be good for me if I do this. I'm realizng that my own loss of my Mother has me paralyzed with fear that I could leave my daughter Motherless or caring for a mother way to early in her young life. For the most part I'm very hea;thy other than the weight thing;) and I know many of you will comment that I could get hit by a car and die that way, or that I could die from a comorbidty related diease. Urrghh I'm so tired of being so tired and pretty much don't want to give up but really who am I kidding. I'm ready to do this but soooooo terribly scared what "doing this" could mean for my family and me if things don't go as planned. Anyone out there that can shed some light or expereince I would appreciate. I have been off the baords for a week or so becuase i'm just so confused? thx

@nannous. Thank you. I have been waiting for someone to say something like that!! I have started counseling and that along with my WLS I hope my life will be long and happy. Working in the medical field I know some do great after surgery and some have a horrible time. It is different for everyone. But that is what I wanna hear SOMEONES TRUTH. Regardless it it's good or bad! What are the bumps you are talking about. I'm not sure I've heard anyone mention them!

I'm glad you liked what I had to stay. I thought many probably won't or will skim/skip the post so they don't have to think about it much. I used to do that with anything negative right before I was going into surgery because I didn't want to be scared or to back out... I have bumps/pimples under my incisions. They're quit large and hurt. My surgeon only made 3 incisions (not including the drainer) and two of them are at my waistline (which is pretty defined) and he used a lot of skin glue to close everything up plus stitching from the inside out. Those bumps aren't a big deal, but IMHO, everyone should have (dare I say, deserves) a holistic view of what they're getting themselves into -- that's why they're here.

So what kind of thearpist do I seek out? I've never been to one but I'm sure I could benefit from thearpy. Can those of you who have done "all" your homework and have sought out therapy tell me which kind to see? Thanks again it means alot that you would take your time to read my crazy ideas and issues:)

I used Psychology Today. You can search for therapists on there based on location and the issues they specialize in. I found an awesome therapist on there and tracked down her website using her name. She specifically deals with bariatric patients and offers group discussions (involving others who also had WLS surgery) that you can join, and she is quite affordable. I hope you find a therapist that's perfect for you on there -- whether you choose to have this surgery or not. Just make sure you meet with your potential therapist for a quick consultation face-to-face and that you feel fully comfortable with them -- can talk about anything, cry in front of them, etc... Wishing you all the best, whatever you decide!

Hello everyone

I have found this to be one of the most thoughtful threads yet. I thank you all for your posts and your honesty, and I will not reiterate my Own journey here as it can be read elsewhere. I am still calling it a journey even though I have not had the surgery (yet) because I have been on the road a while. I understand the fear, it is something I am dealing with myself, for even though I have been a nurse for almost 3 decades (lord I sound old!) and have seen and cared for thousands or surgical patients of every type of surgery(boobs,guts,bones, lungs, heart you name it) I myself have only had my tonsils out when I was almost too young to remember, I am a veritable surgery virgin. I agree with a previous postee that when it is your time it is your timr (how scientific is that?) as I have seen people who should have never made it through surgery and recovery literally walk home the next day, and people who should have had no problem whatsoever have a very rough time. I can also say that while dying during a 'routine' aka 'elective' and non emergent surgery IS an uncommon occurrence, it does happen , albeit rarely, and nOt necessarily due to surgical team error.

And I have said it on a post before but I feel strongly about this - the mind is a force to be reckoned with. While pre surgery jitters is a very normal thing, I would NOT advise anyone to have this done until they are very sure of their decision, and the only way to be sure is to research, compare, learn-about the procedure, your chosen surgical team, AND yourself - why are you doing this? Is it the right time for You to do this? Have you explored all of your options? I do not feel wls (weight loss surgery) is a 'last ditch effort' - and I do not agree that it is 'mutilating' your body - would the surgical removal of a cancerous tumor be considered mutilation? It would be seen as potentially life saving, as I feel this surgery is, or could be. Neither is it a cure all, or 'the easy way out' and you need to be prepared for that work. It sounds like you are doing all of these things and I applaud you for all of your work. No one should jump into this, especially without a plan for after the surgery. Knowledge is power, power leads to control, and confidence to do what is right for YOU. Good luck in your journey to find what is right for YOU.

PS.

Hi everyone, again thanks for all the input. Igychick I did read your story as well (yikes) but the one that got me completley freaked out before you posted yours was the one titled buyers remorse. It has shaken me to the core and has brought up all the reasons as to why I have not made this life changing decision for the good or the bad.I completely agree with being completly comitted before embarking on anything, everything is mental, which is why I'm so confused on this. I have tackled many things in my life others would have never been able to do. I am a goal oriented person. I've served in the freaking U.S. Army for crying out loud I'm a tuff girl. I guess at the end of the day it scares the hell out of me knowing I could be a burden to my daughter and husband and that I could completly botch myself when I could just continue the way I'am and be... well just be. What I have decied to do for myself is to seek out "profesional help" (lol) I'm gonna get a therapist lined up so at least i can get the ball rolling and look at this maybe from a new direction? Again thanks to all who have taken the time. I'm grateful to have found this site and not feel alone on this crazy journey no matter how it goes;) Also I'm going to look into attending a support group from those that have or are in the process of vsg. It's a start in the direction I'm wanting to move in.

P.S. thanks for the links I'll be using them;)

Hi everyone' date=' again thanks for all the input. Igychick I did read your story as well (yikes) but the one that got me completley freaked out before you posted yours was the one titled buyers remorse. It has shaken me to the core and has brought up all the reasons as to why I have not made this life changing decision for the good or the bad.I completely agree with being completly comitted before embarking on anything, everything is mental, which is why I'm so confused on this. I have tackled many things in my life others would have never been able to do. I am a goal oriented person. I've served in the freaking U.S. Army for crying out loud I'm a tuff girl. I guess at the end of the day it scares the hell out of me knowing I could be a burden to my daughter and husband and that I could completly botch myself when I could just continue the way I'am and be... well just be. What I have decied to do for myself is to seek out "profesional help" (lol) I'm gonna get a therapist lined up so at least i can get the ball rolling and look at this maybe from a new direction? Again thanks to all who have taken the time. I'm grateful to have found this site and not feel alone on this crazy journey no matter how it goes;) Also I'm going to look into attending a support group from those that have or are in the process of vsg. It's a start in the direction I'm wanting to move in.

P.S. thanks for the links I'll be using them;)[/quote']

Your answer is why I shared my story. Your well thought out path will serve you in the end. Take care my dear.

Hi,

So I'm a therapy expert, so to speak... So where to start! What I like in a psychologist is some good qualifications. They are not everything but I find I can respect the information coming from my psych more when I trust their expertise.

I usually like men more because I have a problem with female authority but at the moment my female psych can really relate to me and provide some insight that a male couldn't... That female bond feels really comforting

Definitely some understanding with nutrition! If they have worked with people with eating disorders then they never make those stupid mistakes that can jeopardise your weight loss journey.

Do they feel comfortable referring you to doctor or psychiatrist for drugs if they (and you, of course) really feel they may be a useful tool for you.

Do they feel comfortable with you discussing other treatments like natural therapies, hypnosis, acupuncture, reflexology, reiki etc never underestimate placebo effect, the loving conversations you can have with a holistic carer, and the scientifically proven effects of some of these therapies...

Are they close to you or far away: close can allow you to walk there feeling good and getting bonus exercise, time constraints etc. far away you can have some me time to think about your session while you travel...

Remember the first session will be going through history, taking some notes (oh it helps if they have a good memory!!!! You really feel like they have listened to you!) discussing how often you want to see them (I prefer once a week, same day same time so I have time to process what has been discussed and feel like its a nice regular time for me) and what you want to achieve out of your time with them.

I hope this helps, I've seen probably the best psychiatrist in Australia and he finally diagnosed me and gave me the best tools to work with mentally and my first ever side-effect-free antidepressant, but I moved away from Sydney (and him). He was very expensive but the price doesn't matter if it's for your health. I also had one psych who had to stop seeing me because "I was making her depressed"...

There will be good ones and not as good ones out there but I cannot recommend enough how helpful this process is in helping me with my eating disorder and other mental issues...

I hope your journey is pleasant and you make your dreams come true. Peace