I have managed to get myself into the situation of getting a great new job offer (which I need because the place I am working is closing) and approval for surgery on the same day. I am trying to navigate this delicately--I can keep my insurance through COBRA and start the new job, but I will need time off about 2 months in for surgery. I have to accept the offer tomorrow and really think I need to be upfront about needing to be off of work so soon after I start. I realize this could put my dream job--and it is a dream job for me--in jeopardy. Besides that, I am really nervous about handling all the stress of a new job and the surgery at the same time--plus I am a single mom. I realize I am facing some tough days ahead if I go ahead with the surgery, and I am freaking out a little. I am currently pushing 300 pounds on my 5'5" frame and have a lot of joint/feet pain that makes it hard to keep up with my toddler.

I really want to do this, but I am scared of everything coming at me all at once. There is a part of me that says just take the job and forget the surgery....maybe you can have it another time.

I am usually pretty strong and can deal with a lot of stress at once, but I think this is really going to stretch my limits.

Anyone else had multiple big stressors during their surgery and recovery time? Do you regret it? How did you cope?

Please convince me that I can do both and it will be okay.

I too am thankful this all worked out for you. Just think what an amazing job you will be able to do at your new job once you get to goal:) Congrats on all the new things in your life.

See!!!! Being honest up front pays off!!!!! Congrats on the new job! And a whole new you to follow!!!!!

I definitely think you made the right decision by telling them. Congratulations on your new job and your new life!!

So you qualify for short term diability. Do you have to provide a doctors note to your actual manager? Or would you supply it to the workers comp or some other adminstrative office that will not tell your manager. And is bariatric surgery covered under short term disability? Bc im going to now tell my supervisors an manager but i dont want to tell them why. I dont care if i dont get paid to be off (i mean it would be nice) but im fine with jst getting the days off. I just dont want to get in trouble if my manager or the company (UC Davis Medical Center) thinks this is an electie surgery (ugh!). Ya knw?

I just dont want to have to supply a note to the manager with the doctors name (ariel ortiz) and the hospital (obesity control center) on the note bc obviously its not like a back surgery or something more emergent such as a heart attack (even tho i think so an in no way mean to offend others). Its just other ppl, like my family, think this is an elective surgery and im only doing it bc im too lazy to do it the "normal way".

That is wonderful!

So you qualify for short term diability. Do you have to provide a doctors note to your actual manager? Or would you supply it to the workers comp or some other adminstrative office that will not tell your manager. And is bariatric surgery covered under short term disability? Bc im going to now tell my supervisors an manager but i dont want to tell them why. I dont care if i dont get paid to be off (i mean it would be nice) but im fine with jst getting the days off. I just dont want to get in trouble if my manager or the company (UC Davis Medical Center) thinks this is an electie surgery (ugh!). Ya knw?

I just dont want to have to supply a note to the manager with the doctors name (ariel ortiz) and the hospital (obesity control center) on the note bc obviously its not like a back surgery or something more emergent such as a heart attack (even tho i think so an in no way mean to offend others). Its just other ppl, like my family, think this is an elective surgery and im only doing it bc im too lazy to do it the "normal way".

This is an elective surgery. Elective surgeries are simply surgeries that are not emergencies. There is no difference between this and a back surgery. Both are medically necessary as determined by your physician and necessary to improve quality and longevity of life. Is there an HR department where you work? If so, you should go talk to them. They will request documentation from the doctor, but are bound by law to keep your medical information private. If you work at a medical center my guess is that they won't react negatively at all. If you have been there for a year or more and the business has 50 or more employees, you can ask for FMLA paperwork. FMLA is dictated by federal law and qualifies you for up to 12 weeks off for treatment of your serious health condition (obesity). This is job-protected leave which means that they cannot fire you or penalize you in any way for being off of work. Oftentimes if an employer offers STD they will have you sign up for both FMLA (to protect your job while you are out--they can't penalize you for missing work) and STD (insurance plan that will pay you a portion of your salary--normally 60%--while you are off of work). I know it is confusing, but I work in HR and deal with this stuff every day. You really should take advantage of both FMLA--if you qualify--and STD. You need to go into this surgery focused on your health and not worried about work and finances. I am sorry that you are feeling judgement from anyone that this is because you are "too lazy" to lose weight the normal way. But.....don't let them convince you that you are doing something wrong or that you should be ashamed of it. Go talk to your HR department with the same confidence that you would have if you were going in to have gallbladder surgery. Good luck.

texarkolina,

thank you for your advice:) really i appreciate it. one more question. do i have to provide them with a letter from my PCP because I don't have one. The one at kaiser (thru my dads insurance) refuses to refer me because my BMI is 38. And I dont yet have a PCP with my insurance thru my job. should i find a PCP really quick, tell them whats going on, and ask that they refer me so i have a letter to submit to HR? because the doctor in Mexico never asked me for my BMI or anything like a referral letter. so i never thought to get one before this. watcha think?

Most likely the HR department will have a form that they want the treating doctor to fill out. I would start with the HR department, get the form, and fax it to your surgeon's office to complete. It doesn't matter that the surgeon is in Mexico. You shouldn't have to have anything from an additional doctor.

Just to be clear, the opinion of the HR department about this surgery is totally irrelevant. You have a serious medical condition--obesity--and are going to have an approved procedure--WLS--to treat the condition. Don't let anybody bully you about this!!! Please let us know how it goes.