Friends will try and sabatoge you offer you sweets and all kinds of stuff you can't have they don't respect your sleeve....... Some don't want you to lose weight cuz then you will be smaller than them.......

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Lissa

I had a similar revelation. I was fixing a small plate for myself at a get together and my portion was smaller than normal but when I looked at other pwople's portions I thought the same thing. No wonder everyone is obese. We tend to put too much on our plates and then feel obligated to clean them. And for many, they just don't know when enough is enough. If you eat huge portions all your life it's okay and normal to you. This morning I had 1 c of Special K & 1 c. Of skim milk and hadn't even ate it all and was FULL. I thought oh my Gosh how did I ever used to eat as much as I did. Eating slowly sure does let you know when you've reached your limit.

I've had an odd, similar reaction. The last few times I went down to visit my family (my father has been very ill, and sadly just passed away), my mom and dad were just blown away at how skinny and "buff" (Dad's words) I was. I felt embarrassed, but proud -- I've worked very hard to lose weight and go to the gym, so it's nice to have some praise! My sister chimed in, but not much. And then, as I was sitting at the family computer trying to fix it (amazing how Mom and Dad can wreck it every single time!) she's behind me and says "oh my god, you're going bald, little brother!" Now... I'm not going bald; I have a thinning spot at the crown of my head, like just about every other guy my age (and besides, I shave my head, so who cares). It doesn't bother me that much, since I know about it and am honest, but my first reaction was -- what an odd, cruel thing to say! My sister is probably in excess of 300 lbs at this point, and since she's a heavy smoker she's just not... looking good. In fact her skin is horrible because (I suspect) she's in early stage diabetes. I've offered to help her get the sleeve surgery, if she wants, I've been a great evangelist for it -- making it clear that it's a great tool for losing weight. But I DON'T preach about weight loss, and I have NEVER criticized her appearance. So this -- and other, similar -- jibes about my appearance were really weird and off-putting, until I realized something:

She's jealous! It finally clicked a few days ago (I was telling my mom about the house I just bought, and my sister's comment? Not "congratulations" or "way to go!" but "It's kinda OLD..." I mean WTF?) that she's just jealous of me and all the attention I've been getting lately. So all of a sudden all those little mean comments start to make sense; they're still mean and hurtful, but now I can think "ah, that's just her issues popping up, ignore it."

It sucks when friends and family and loved ones are cruel to you, but the older I get, the more I feel that when it happens, I have to realize that that's the monkey on THEIR back. Their insults and mean comments aren't about ME, they're about THEM; when someone says something cruel to you, be nice to them -- it means that THEY are having a hard time with YOUR success, and are taking it out on you.

That's the way I TRY to be, anyway. I don't always succeed... the last few times when my sister was insulting to me, I really had to bite my tongue to avoid saying something incredibly hurtful back at her.

I've had an odd' date=' similar reaction. The last few times I went down to visit my family (my father has been very ill, and sadly just passed away), my mom and dad were just blown away at how skinny and "buff" (Dad's words) I was. I felt embarrassed, but proud -- I've worked very hard to lose weight and go to the gym, so it's nice to have some praise! My sister chimed in, but not much. And then, as I was sitting at the family computer trying to fix it (amazing how Mom and Dad can wreck it every single time!) she's behind me and says "oh my god, you're going bald, little brother!" Now... I'm not going bald; I have a thinning spot at the crown of my head, like just about every other guy my age (and besides, I shave my head, so who cares). It doesn't bother me that much, since I know about it and am honest, but my first reaction was -- what an odd, cruel thing to say! My sister is probably in excess of 300 lbs at this point, and since she's a heavy smoker she's just not... looking good. In fact her skin is horrible because (I suspect) she's in early stage diabetes. I've offered to help her get the sleeve surgery, if she wants, I've been a great evangelist for it -- making it clear that it's a great tool for losing weight. But I DON'T preach about weight loss, and I have NEVER criticized her appearance. So this -- and other, similar -- jibes about my appearance were really weird and off-putting, until I realized something:

She's jealous! It finally clicked a few days ago (I was telling my mom about the house I just bought, and my sister's comment? Not "congratulations" or "way to go!" but "It's kinda OLD..." I mean WTF?) that she's just jealous of me and all the attention I've been getting lately. So all of a sudden all those little mean comments start to make sense; they're still mean and hurtful, but now I can think "ah, that's just her issues popping up, ignore it."

It sucks when friends and family and loved ones are cruel to you, but the older I get, the more I feel that when it happens, I have to realize that that's the monkey on THEIR back. Their insults and mean comments aren't about ME, they're about THEM; when someone says something cruel to you, be nice to them -- it means that THEY are having a hard time with YOUR success, and are taking it out on you.

That's the way I TRY to be, anyway. I don't always succeed... the last few times when my sister was insulting to me, I really had to bite my tongue to avoid saying something incredibly hurtful back at her.[/quote']

Well put.....

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I am very lucky to have the support of most of my family. My dads side were telling me not to do it but I think it was just the severity of the procedure. I'm sorry to hear some of you don't have that support.....that sucks. But I have also lied saying I can't eat certain foods, which is funny because I'm a manager for Ben & Jerrys hahahahhahaa guess I'm the perfect loss preventionist!