I See a lot of comments about people not wanting others to know about their surgery like its shameful! I want to understand why you feel this way, why are you not proud of yourself for making the decision to change your life??

I am proud of my decision but for me it is a private matter. I do not care to share it with people because frankly I do not feel it is any of their business. It is a private struggle for me because most of the people in my family are not over weight and they do not understand what I have gone through. It is like a non smoker saying to smokers you could just quit if you really wanted to. Addiction is not that easy to just quit. This is the same scenario but with food. I just do not want to hear the comments and the remarks like I had to cheat to lose weight. I want to be proud of myself without defending it all the time. I hope this makes sense.

alot of people think that we have choose the easy way by having sleeve

they dont feel our pain , our struggle

I think you lady's should be So proud! Undergoing surgery and making a huge commitment to change the rest of your life is Not the easy way out! In my opinion if someone said that it was the easy way out I would assume that it was a case of jealousy. Be proud! Be so proud! Be proud that you mean enough to yourself that you were willing to go under the knife voluntarily to make yourself a better future :-)

I have been very open with my friends/family/colleagues about my surgery and I have had way more people support me than not.. I think it was really important to me for them to know why I was having such a drastic change and I for sure wanted them to know that it wasn't something illegal lol :-)

I really only told my family and my two closest friends. I mean, I'll tell people who ask me, but I won't outright exclaim to the world that I had surgery. It's my business. I didn't announce it on my facebook or tell all my coworkers. Only person at work that really knows is one of my managers. What I hate is when someone who knows talks behind my back to other people about it. They'll comment on my weight loss and then that person will be like, "Yeah, but it's only because she had surgery." If you're really curious, just ask me! I won't feed you bullcrap about how I'm doing it with "just exercise and eating right." No need to depreciate what I went through by saying I took the "easy way out" by having surgery, or that I "didn't really have to work for it."

I believe only the people who matter most should know what I am doing...anyone else I choose to tell is my choice....I work with majority women....some of them are overweight, and I have heard them make comments about other who have had surgery and was open about it....those people choose to ignore the ignorance....me, well I know me, if someone come at me or make a stupid remark about taking the easy way out, I will tell them off, friend or not...

So to maintain the peace, I rather not share.....plus I'm planning on leaving there, and they will not see me in the losing phase....

I think you lady's should be So proud! Undergoing surgery and making a huge commitment to change the rest of your life is Not the easy way out! In my opinion if someone said that it was the easy way out I would assume that it was a case of jealousy. Be proud! Be so proud! Be proud that you mean enough to yourself that you were willing to go under the knife voluntarily to make yourself a better future :-)

I have been very open with my friends/family/colleagues about my surgery and I have had way more people support me than not.. I think it was really important to me for them to know why I was having such a drastic change and I for sure wanted them to know that it wasn't something illegal lol :-)

You have to understand that in order to be proud of ourselves we do not need the people around us to approve. We can be proud of ourselves without telling the world about our surgery. It is just much easier to live with a positive attitude when you are surrounded with support and not negativity. My husband, daughter and cousin know what I am about to do. That is all I am going to tell because they are the people that I trust the most in my life and I know they love me. That is all the support I need to make this journey a successful one. I am very proud of my decision. I walk around with a big smile on my face everyday anticipating my surgery day. It is almost better because it is my own private excitement.

WOW! It's kinda sad to hear about some of these feelings. I guess I truly am blessed that I am surrounded everyday by such wonderful people that don't judge me and would never dare think of a thing like saying it was the easy way out! I do know how blessed I am with my friends and family and colleagues but this is making me appreciate them so much more. I hope that each and every one of you are supported and commended on such a wonderful thing you are doing by those that you do choose to tell! You are all amazing people that are making big sacrafises for all different reasons such as health, energy, self respect and so many other reasons! I know one big factor for a lot of people is relations with others like being able to keep up with kids/grand kids or having energy to interact with others without the embarrassment of so many of the overweight issues we face which usually makes us the negative center of attention!

I Commend each and every one of you for the choice you made and I hope that you all can find people that accept you and your choice and will always be there to cheer you on every step of this long journey!

The reason I had surgery was to be a good mom who taught healthy eating habits to my children and to have the energy to run and play with them like they deserve from me! Surgery was hands down one of the best choices I've ever made :-) good luck to each of you on your journey!

Thank you! I am not sad at all I have everything I need lol. Good luck with your journey and I am glad you have a great support system. You are a lucky person.

I chose to only tell a few of the closest people to me and it has nothing to do with being embarrassed about having surgery. I am proud of going to such lengths to take control of my life.

I just know myself well and I put a lot of pressure on myself to succeed in everything I do. I decided not to share this with everyone because I didn't want lots of questions from people around me during the losing phase. I had a feeling it might be a little more difficult than I anticipated and I was correct. I didn't want to feel that people were watching me closely or what I eat, how fast I am losing, etc. I knew it would make me feel pressure and I didn't want that. I feel that I will eventually be more open about it as I am successful and feeling more confident in my journey. A good part of the struggle is mental and I chose to only tell people I knew could and would be emotionally supportive to me.

Hope that makes sense.

I chose to only tell a few of the closest people to me and it has nothing to do with being embarrassed about having surgery. I am proud of going to such lengths to take control of my life.

I just know myself well and I put a lot of pressure on myself to succeed in everything I do. I decided not to share this with everyone because I didn't want lots of questions from people around me during the losing phase. I had a feeling it might be a little more difficult than I anticipated and I was correct. I didn't want to feel that people were watching me closely or what I eat' date=' how fast I am losing, etc. I knew it would make me feel pressure and I didn't want that. I feel that I will eventually be more open about it as I am successful and feeling more confident in my journey. A good part of the struggle is mental and I chose to only tell people I knew could and would be emotionally supportive to me.

Hope that makes sense.[/quote']

Perfect sense!

I in no way feel guilty or embarrassed by my decision to have WLS either time. I have had a lapband a few years ago and then stalled and still had 100 pounds to lose. I then had the the lapband removed and a sleeve done......and the second surgery was not approved by my insurance and I paid for it myself.

I did this for me to hopefully stave off an early death. I was having hypertension, prediabetic, sleep apnea and painful joints and back.

Since I had my surgeries my diabetes has gone away, my joint do not hurt everytime that I move and I am now down to one blood medication and I sleep better.

I am in no way ashamed of needing help getting my weight under control. I had tried almost every diet that was known including a total liquid diet for 8 months. I did try and did have success but once I was off the diet the weight came back. This surgery is not a diet but a life change and one that I am going to stick with. I want to enjoy the life that I have left and to enjoy doing things instead of sitting in a chair and being non-social. I enjoy my new life and will never apologize to anyone for my decision.

I am proud of my progress and my new life and I will tell anyone that will listen. Stand up and shout it from the mountain tops.

Thank you! I am not sad at all I have everything I need lol. Good luck with your journey and I am glad you have a great support system. You are a lucky person.

Lol not a pity "sad". I guess that I just never realized that other people had so many troubles with acceptance for their decision! That's why I posted the thread, I really wanted to understand the journey from those eyes because I only see it from mine and mine has always been nothing but positive you know! I don't think people should necessarily strive for acceptance so I don't mean it to sound like that but I feel like people need support in situations like these but I agree with what you're saying.. It doesn't matter whether it's 2 people or 200 people, as long as you have the support you "need" then you have everything you need to be successful :-)

Lol not a pity "sad". I guess that I just never realized that other people had so many troubles with acceptance for their decision! That's why I posted the thread, I really wanted to understand the journey from those eyes because I only see it from mine and mine has always been nothing but positive you know! I don't think people should necessarily strive for acceptance so I don't mean it to sound like that but I feel like people need support in situations like these but I agree with what you're saying.. It doesn't matter whether it's 2 people or 200 people, as long as you have the support you "need" then you have everything you need to be successful :-)

Oh I know you didn't mean it as a pity sad. I totally understand where you are coming from too. I am happy with my smaller support group because that is my safe zone. You are fortunate enough to have a wider spectrum of support. That is great. I may tell people later on as I feel I can trust them. I also kind of like the fact that it is my private secret right now and it is all mine.

I am proud of my decision but for me it is a private matter. I do not care to share it with people because frankly I do not feel it is any of their business. It is a private struggle for me because most of the people in my family are not over weight and they do not understand what I have gone through. It is like a non smoker saying to smokers you could just quit if you really wanted to. Addiction is not that easy to just quit. This is the same scenario but with food. I just do not want to hear the comments and the remarks like I had to cheat to lose weight. I want to be proud of myself without defending it all the time. I hope this makes sense.

Very well said. Me, too!

Some of our guilt may be that we have looked at others all these years.....and it has been over 40 years for me. I used to see other people who were thin and what a great life they had and how much fun they had and the love that they had in their lives.....husbands, wives, children and lots and lots of friends.

I remember the first time that I had real success with weight loss through weight watchers. I lost 85 pounds. Before this I did not have many friends and basically a non=existent social life. I went to work, came home, ate, went to bed and did it all over again the next day.

After I had lost the 85 pounds I had people trying to fix me up on dates like I had just dropped out of the sky. I was being invited to many occassions and out to events. WHY??????? Because I was thin and people were not ashamed of me any longer. Well.......did I go you ask????? NO!!!!!!! I was the same person that I was when I weighed 85 pounds more and if it took me losing weight to have people want to introduce me to others in their circles and think that now was the only time that I would be able to find someone to share my life.....it was not to be. I did gain new friendships and kept some of my old ones but I just did not like the way that people that I had known for many, many years were not treating me.

After that I regressed back and gained the weight back and they stopped inviting me again but I had made some very good friends in the meantime and they stood by me for many years to come. And over these years I weighed from 180 at my lowest to 375 at the most. They never treated me differently and always made me feel welcomed and cared for.

These are the friends that you want in your life and not those who want to be your friend for how you look, how much money you may have, what type of job you have or a million other things. They wanted to be my freinds because they liked ME!!!!!!!!!!!

But first it was a long journey for me as I had to learn to like myself. I have had many struggles over the years but I now know that I am the most important person that I know and I am worth fighting for. My friends are still my friends and still stand by me. I wish that people in the world were not a judgemental of those who do not fit their "NORMAL".