I grew up with a very negative mother. Nothing i ever did was right. I felt like my entire family judged me even when i was pretty small. I was the annoying kid noone wanted around. Iwas spoiled with things but not with attention or emotion......this has made me a very scared about everyones judgements. I care way too much what people think or may think. I was not as bad when i felt better aboit my weight. Bit at my all time high now my self esteem is broken.

So my husband gets annoyed when i worry about what people will say about me having surgery. Or even hmthat inviting his parents over for the super bowl sends me into worry....i cant eat unhealthy...i have to clean the whole house...ect ect. He doesnt care what anyone thinks but i freak about it. I tried to tell him that i need him to be very supportive and understand that im extrememly fragile right now. Im making this huge decision to fight for my life and the last thing i need is for him to roll his eyes or say "really?!"...the smallest tine or look can really hurt me right now.

I know this is my issue but i feel he should try and be more understanding that i am under a lot of stress and fighting my way back from deppression.

Grandmaof4. You are doing so great. Good for you.

I didn't want to be seen and I also cared what others thought. My fiancé use to get so angry with me. He loved me that way and so should everyone else. He did not understand that I didn't feel good enough and that I was always being judged. My ex is verbally abusive and that started getting to me as well. I am 12 days out and down 21 lbs. It's amazing how much this has helped my self esteem! You are makin the first decision towards a happier life and even with my complications I would do it all again!

I didn't want to be seen and I also cared what others thought. My fiancé use to get so angry with me. He loved me that way and so should everyone else. He did not understand that I didn't feel good enough and that I was always being judged. My ex is verbally abusive and that started getting to me as well. I am 12 days out and down 21 lbs. It's amazing how much this has helped my self esteem! You are makin the first decision towards a happier life and even with my complications I would do it all again!

I have never been married, so I offer no advice on spouses, but it seems to me that it is so helpful for sleevers to have their own forums, perhaps it would be helpful to create a forum just for spouses where they could talk to others of their own kind and express opinions, yay or nea or just confused. They could get feedback from others in similar situations and not worry about being considered un sympathetic or clueless. I have not read everything on the board yet, is there such a forum? Diva, you are a moderator, just a thought from a single pre-sleever.

Robbe