I'm about a week and a half post op (which you all probably know since I've been posting all the time.) But my husband's sister's 40th birthday party is tomorrow (Saturday) in a bar.....mind you...the bar the was my favorite bar pre-surgery and that my husband and I recommended for the party. Not smart in hind sight. We are also in charge of the cake (which I ordered) and balloons. I don't mind leaving the house, but I'm just not sure what I'm supposed to do while I'm there. Can't drink, can't eat solid foods, and can only talk a maximum of an hour before they drive me nuts (in-laws = forced conversation) I know my husband well enough that he will want to spend more than an hour there...and I've barely left the house since I got home from the hospital. I need some encouragement my fellow sleevers!!

That does seem awfully soon. All you can really do is focus on the conversation and drink some water and/or apple juice. Or not go.

Can you both drive in separately so you can leave after an hour? Perhaps your sister in law and husband will understand considering you just had surgery. Also consider taking a small bottle of red Powerade zero in your purse and ask for an empty glass or a glass of water. Dump (discreetly) or drink the water and sip your red Powerade zero. I did this and I looked darn festive during the holidays. I eventually confessed after many asked what I was drinking and we all had a good laugh!

Wow!! I have no better advice than what Longer Life just posted, but I wanted to express my sympathies at having to deal with the in-laws this soon after surgery! Good luck!!

I started going places the day after I got home. I haven't had a vacation in years so:

I went to a big cat rescue and walked around the leopards and serval cats

Went back to choir practice

Went to the beach and walked along the shore (Dana Point ROCKS!)

Walked everywhere

Organized all my files (fun to me)

Bought and connected a new laser printer. Scanned some more OLD photos

Today I finished off the "vacation" by going on a two hour horseback ride (Yes, my surgeon okayed the HB ride)

Saturday I have to get my taxes done, but then meet for my dad's 73rd birthday

Sunday after mass I have to prune all the roses.

Just bring your Clear liquids with you and enjoy the time out.

I will be couped up enough when I go back to work on Monday

Seriously. Treat this like a vacation. It will change your whole outlook from surgery patient to healthy person.

I had to go to a toddler birthday party on day six!! I so feel your pain! You could get half cranberry half water from the bar- or take the packets. I did take my own drink to the party. Good luck!

My favorite is apple juice diluted by 50%. You don't even miss full strength. Right now I drink decaf instant iced tea. No calories and I drink it by the quart.

When you get there, focus first on getting the cake set up and the balloons. Don't be responsible for serving the cake - delegate that to someone else - unless serving it wouldn't bother you. If it wouldn't, being cooped up behind the cake (sitting) would allow you to see everyone and not have to visit with your in-laws much.

Make nice with your sister-in-law and wish her a happy birthday. Visit with those you like (with your "drink" in hand - whatever you figure out to bring), pay your respects to your in-laws, and when you feel yourself getting tired or when the environment is starting to get to you - go home. If this means taking separate cars - do that. If it means catching a cab - do that. If it means having your husband drive you home and he comes back by himself - do that. You don't want to screw up your recovery.

Good Luck.

I bet you will feel GREAT going out. I went back to work in a busy "social" world on my 9th day and it some how makes you feel better, the moving around, the chatting etc. I think you'll be fine and all the suggestions of discreet beverages is a good idea. You may need a little cat nap after, but enjoy yourself while you're there.

When you get there, focus first on getting the cake set up and the balloons. Don't be responsible for serving the cake - delegate that to someone else - unless serving it wouldn't bother you. If it wouldn't, being cooped up behind the cake (sitting) would allow you to see everyone and not have to visit with your in-laws much.

Make nice with your sister-in-law and wish her a happy birthday. Visit with those you like (with your "drink" in hand - whatever you figure out to bring), pay your respects to your in-laws, and when you feel yourself getting tired or when the environment is starting to get to you - go home. If this means taking separate cars - do that. If it means catching a cab - do that. If it means having your husband drive you home and he comes back by himself - do that. You don't want to screw up your recovery.

Good Luck.

Great advice!

This is why I LOVE belonging to this board! Everyone here gives WONDERFUL advice! I completely agree with it all - take your own drink and do what you can. Drive separate if that is an option so that when you reach your limit, you can go without feeling stuck or frustrated. You will feel great having gotten out but also great that you could make your own timeline and do what works for your recovery! Let us know how it goes!

I'm about a week and a half post op (which you all probably know since I've been posting all the time.) But my husband's sister's 40th birthday party is tomorrow (Saturday) in a bar.....mind you...the bar the was my favorite bar pre-surgery and that my husband and I recommended for the party. Not smart in hind sight. We are also in charge of the cake (which I ordered) and balloons. I don't mind leaving the house, but I'm just not sure what I'm supposed to do while I'm there. Can't drink, can't eat solid foods, and can only talk a maximum of an hour before they drive me nuts (in-laws = forced conversation) I know my husband well enough that he will want to spend more than an hour there...and I've barely left the house since I got home from the hospital. I need some encouragement my fellow sleevers!!

Awww!!! Big hugs to you!!! Stay strong my fellow sleever!!

The encouragement I can give you is, the first social scene post surgery is always the worst as far as anticipation. It's the not knowing what to expect that is the scariest. Then you get there and then realize its not nearly as bad as you thought it would be. HTH!! You will be fine.

If you're worried that you won't have the energy to stay too long, I agree with Longer... go in seperate vehicles so you can leave early.

Xox

If you get through this first event, you will feel more empowered. I am 9 days out. My first very scary outing was the movies. I LOVE the movies, and always, always get popcorn and a diet drink. The worst part was smelling the popcorn as I walked into the theater. I put my decaf tea in a water bottle. Once I sat down and the movie started, I was fine. We went with two other couples, who went to eat first, so didn't get popcorn (thank God). So I put my husband (with his popcorn) down the row with one of our friends. Lol. I did what I had to do to get through the first movie. But after it was over, I was proud of myself and now feel that it won't be so bad in the future. You can do it!! I know it will be tough, with the food and all. Do what you have to do to get through this first event.

Update-I made it. I ended up ordering some mashed potatoes while everyone else was eating fish and chips, cake, sandwiches, etc. But I made it. I drank my juice and at my potatoes and talked with my husband's aunt's who are great. Actually one aunt just had lap band surgery 6 weeks ago, so we had a lot to talk about and she gave me some great tips. Overall, turned out much better than I anticipated. My husband did want to stay longer but I made it 3 hours and he was willing to leave cause I was obviously getting tired and getting sore. Thanks everyone for your encouragement!

Glad to hear it went well. As others have said, I definitely feel like the anxiety before the first few social occasions was way worse than the reality. Being able to resist all the goodies I would've devoured pre-op is actually really empowering. I have a potluck dinner to attend today, and I'm still a little nervous. But I know it'll be fine.

Glad to hear the event went well...!!