The other night hubby and I went to dinner- I was obviously as ususal not very hungry- So I ordered an appetizer sampler- It came with jalapeno's steamed with cheese (5) bonelss chicken wings (5) and potatoe skins (4). The potatoe skins were very burnt so I only ate the cheese and bacon out of them and 1 jalapeno then I was full- therefore leaving a lot of food on my plate...

Watress when walking by-" do you wnat a box"

Me- No thank you

Waitress- "are you sure you don't want a box"

Me- No thanks- i'm good

when hubby was done with his yummy looking steak waitress brings check-

Waitress" are you sure you don't want a box? they make good left overs"

Me- No I don't want a box but thank you.

Waitress- "really??"

Me- Really- can I have my change please??

SO while we were waiting I vented to hubby that I thought she was so rude for asking so many times- Dammit If I dont want a box I dont want a damn box (we were going to not be home and the food would have gotten thrown away which is the only reason I didnt get a box)

He told me I was overreacting-

a) I think that all restaurants should make their employees do sensativity training- for the following reasons-

1) don't sit me in a booth if I look like I will be uncomfortable or PLEASE ask before you take me through a full restaurant and wait for me to try to squeeze in before you and I realize I NEED a table

2) If I only want an appetizer don't look at me as if i'm purple and that you KNOW I could eat more but don't.. IT's rude!!

3) If you ask me for a box and I decline DAMMIT leave it alone!!!!!

Ok I feel better now- but does anyone agree with me?? I cannot wait unti I am further out and my figure matches my appetite so this no longer happens to me...

Lol, I am having my surgery in 5 days and all I could think about after reading your post is how amazing it would be for me to A) only order and eat and appetizer and not obsess about eating every last bite and then finishing it later! I feel like this is a journey of physical change as well as spiritual change. We can't expect others to understand any aspect of where we've been or where we are at any given time. I've spent years feeling invisible in clothing stores that weren't plus size and having thin women try to make suggestions on how I can dress or shoes I should wear to spice up my look. My journey is personal and I will try to find gratitude as I move through it. Hang in there and good luck!

Marnie

Well I'll go out on a limb here and say YES, you are over reacting. Some people are just insensitive jerks and usually end up in lower paying service jobs like the restaurant industry.

Just brush them off and YOU take control of the situation. You have every right to vent but just let it go after that. Little things like this can eat you alive if you dwell on them and you now have a big challenge ahead of you post op. Concentrate on that.

Good luck friend!

This journey is amazing I could not believe that I would be full and satisfied with a starter at a meal,, I went on my works Christmas lunch last week they don't know I have had a sleeve done only my family we had to pre order I just had a starter of cheese and pickles with a side salad I could not eat a quarter of it I also order just a fruit juice with loads of ice I was busy talking so nobody noticed that I wasn't eating and drinking I left most of the starter and my juice but had a fantastic time it will take you a few months to get your head around eating out after your sleeve I avoided it at first then I managed by asking for a kids meal or I took my own take away box in my handbag and sneaked the meal in to it as here in England they are very funny about letting you have a kids portion you will still have to pay for a adult meal

3) If you ask me for a box and I decline DAMMIT leave it alone!!!!! Ok I feel better now- but does anyone agree with me?? .

Remember most if not all her salary comes from tips. She probably thought you didn't like it and that affects her pay. She wanted you to elaborate a little more, that's all.

I remember one of the first dinner dates out with my hubby 2 months post op, we were out of town, and we decided to share a meal, and the waiter made a remark about being anorexic or something to that...I thought it was really rude and made me feel super uncomfortable.

I would have felt the same way, but I'm evil. I would have told her that the chemo makes it really hard to eat.

I would have felt the same way, but I'm evil. I would have told her that the chemo makes it really hard to eat.

That is so funny and it would really be a harmless comment. I am going to keep that in mind.

To the OP, I think you are overreacting. Was her motive malice? No.

Americans, especially, are overserved and tend to overeat in restaurants. And as was stated, if you didn't like the food, the waitress will likely take the brunt of it in her tip. Maybe she is trying to ensure you were satisfied. Or maybe she comes from the clean plate club herself (even if she is skinny).

Perhaps next time a box is offered up, you could gush over how delicious it was but really you are satisfied. "OMG, those were the BEST potato skins ever, but I'm done!" (scoot plate towards overbearing waitress). Or, take the box if repeatedly offered, and just leave it on the table.

If you often are uncomfortable in booths, can you not just request a table when the hostess is going to seat you, even if this means waiting a few more minutes?

I agree that the waitress should have backed off, but I don't think she was pushing to be rude. I worked in the food industry, and when someone wouldn't order something or didn't want a drink you automatically wonder if something was wrong or made incorrectly, or you wonder if that person just didn't feel well. The waitress may have felt bad that you were paying for all that food and it was just going to be thrown out. She's not allowed to ask why you aren't taking it, so offering a box is the only thing she can do. Asking that many times is annoying, but I don't think it requires sensitivity training.

As for the booth thing... that is a tough one. On the one hand I agree that it sucks to have to ask to move to a table because you can't sit comfortably at a booth. But I also know a ton of people who would be offended if they were put at a table. Typically booths are more secluded and nicer for two people who seem like they are on a date, where tables are out in the open and less private. They should have asked your preference before seating your or when taking your name down to avoid this. It would have been so much easier for them and nicer to you if they just said "would you prefer a table or a booth", or if they were busy they could have said "we have a booth available now, but if you would prefer a table it will be about a 10 minute wait" etc, etc.

Overall I think the stress of eating out and not being able to eat the way you are used to and not being able to enjoy your meal made the whole thing seem a lot worse than it was. This happened to me a lot at the beginning as well. My mom helped though... we would order and app and tell the waiter/waitress that we were going to share. They never noticed that I wasn't eating because the food was still eaten. I've also stopped questions in their track by saying "I already ate, I just want a snack" or "I have a big dinner later, I'm just going to munch"... At this point I don't say anything. The majority of waiters or waitresses know to back off and not question it and it generally isn't a problem.

I hope next time you eat out you have a better experience.