Talking Myself Out Of Surgery. Help.
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My surgery is scheduled for next week. I have to make the final payment by end of today. Today is also the last day to get my deposit back. I have been thinking about this for months and have had the date set for many weeks. I have read through many, many posts on this forum and other forums, and I have even participated in discussions like this one where people are freaking out pre-op. And yet here I am, making excuses for why I should back out of this:
1. It's a lot of money. I have young kids. Money could be spent on vacations, etc. The cost is all our savings and then some.
2. My BMI is "only" 31. I should be able to do this on my own, shouldn't I? (Yes, yes, I've lost and gained many times in the past, but this time will be different....).
3. I've been battling a cold and am worried I'll get sicker post-op.
4. I love food. What will happen to my emotions, my coping mechanism once I'm sleeved?
5. I'm anxious about short- and long-term side effects. I have hardly any hair as is and it does NOT grow, no exaggeration. I don't want to be bald! I don't want to deal with reflux. I have great digestion now, no issues - why add problems where none exist? What if I have a leak? My insurance won't cover anything even remotely related to WLS, so we'd be in dyer straights financially.
I know these are all excuses, and I know I'm playing head games with myself. Someone slap me, please.