Merry Christmas to all.

I am sitting here while everyone else is asleep and thinking. My family and I had a wonderful Christmas. It has been one of the best ever. However, this afternoon it struck me that I will be in surgery in 3 days. I thought I was dealing well, but I just broke down and started crying. My dh reminded me of how much better I will feel in 6 months. That was great b/c it wasn't how much better I'd look but he's right it is for my health that I am doing this and the perk is how I will look. I don't know what is wrong with me, but I am literally freaking out and crying. It's like I'm scared to lose weight. How can this be. I've wanted to lose weight for years. I've been thin before. Just about 8 years ago. I know how great it was (although I didn't know then). So why am I all of a sudden scared. I have been contemplating surgery for 2 years and now it is finally happening. What is wrong with me?

I'm not sure of what I am looking for in this post. Like I said I'm just sitting here crying and freaking out. Since everyone is asleep I just needed to tell someone......

Don't worry, what you are feeling is completely normal! Im three weeks post op and went through the same thing even though I had wanted to be sleeved. Its almost like our minds go through a fear of the unknown. It gets better. Keep on trucking, I promise after everything is said and done, you'll feel much better. Take care and good luck.

Melissa-

I am sure your feelings are very common, so don't feel bad for having them. I had my first anxiety today as well and I have 2 weeks to go. It is the beginning of a big change in life and change is scary. Even great change is uncomfortable and the reality of it is hitting you. I bet you will feel better tomorrow. This process is an emotional roller coaster for all of us.

Be kind to yourself. It's going to be just fine.

Most of us have to go over so many hurdles for this surgery. Mine took six months. Psychiatrist, counselor, diet doctor, lose 5% of weight, wait on insurance, and then when the surgery date was scheduled, it was like it took me by surprise! Maybe I didn't think it was really going to happen or something.

I was sleeved last week, and I got very upset in the pre-op waiting room. They had to give me valium. I was considering pulling my IV out and bolting. Because of the valium I made it through.

I was so afraid I wouldn't be able to take the pain, or that life would be horrid afterward. I don't know why. It IS a huge step though, and I think you are normal for having last minute concerns and doubts. Also, our mind is going to tell us at the last minute that we can do this on our own, without surgery. I think it is just fear, it was in my case.

I think you are being normal. Try not to think about it too terribly much, if you can help it. That's what I did during the time leading up to surgery. I waited until I was at the hospital to lose it!

Good luck to you. In about a week you'll likely be typing away from home, well on the mend! Well, maybe a few gas pains left over.

I freaked out a little bit yesterday too. The fact that I wrote out what was going on and posted it on here already made me feel a little better. Great replies will come from others who have already gone through what we are going through now. I am going to try and just relax my mind over the next few weeks with yoga and some other relaxation exercises. Feel proud that you have the surgery in only a few days. I would say do your best to relax your mind so that it will be that much less stressful for you when you get to the hospital. We decided to have this surgery for good reasons, and those reasons still exist. I still catch myself saying I can do it on my own, but then I remind myself how the last 15+ years of trying to do it on my own haven't led to any long-term successes. This will be a great opportunity to actually change my life for the healthier.

I was where you are now one year ago. I had just had a wonderful Christmas with family, and knew I would be facing surgery soon. I wondered if I would be around to see another Christmas - I was scared to undergo surgery and thought I would die young (relatively) if I didn't have it.

Fast forward to now. I have been sleeved 10 months and am within 10 pounds of goal. I have lost a small person's worth of weight. I am SO MUCH healthier and feell SO MUCH better. And, I really enjoy being this size! Life is much better at a 10 - 12 petite than a 24W.

Try to focus on the end goal. Don't let anything you can think or worry about keep you from focusing on your end goal. Anything you have to do, eat, not eat, start doing, stop doing or change is worth reaching your end goal.

I wish you the best of luck on your journey.

Thank you all so much. I know it is just my anxiety getting the best of me. Beyond the nerves, I am excited to see what I look like in a year and the energy I will have. I also can't wait to be able to play with my kids without being so exhausted all the time. The 28th can't get here fast enough and it is getting here too fast....

The three month process for me was filled with an inner peace because of my decision to have this surgery. Then I finally got the ok from insurance and I had a total melt down that night. It was a lot going through me mind. The unknown is scary! I cried so bad that night my sister held me and let me soak the front of her shirt! I even cried as they wheeled me into the operating room a little. It's okay to be scared and nervous- but don't let it scare you away. Today I am three weeks post op and down twenty-seven pounds since surgery! I would do it all over again in a heartbeat!