I am doing a poll because I am trying to find a marriage that has not had some sort of cheating involved either from one spouse or another. I need your feedback guys. From the smallest indiscretion to the horrible, please tell me there is a relationship out there that had neither party cheating!! PLEASE!! Only sane people please reply.

This forum is turning into an advise column......where do these subjects come from. Are they from lapband patients? That was a simple statement with no explanation just I think I might cheat. Well, I've thought about pizza for awhile now too, but I'm not going to have any.

Should I take this seriously or get back to the topics at hand on lap-banding?

Dody, this topic is in the lounge which is where all topics that are not about the band belong. this topic is allowed, and I think that almost every aspect of our lives are touched by the band. Especially relationships. I think this topic is fine.

Non-cheaters here. I just asked hubby if he has ever cheated on me and he said, "If I had, now why would I say YES?" then he siad, "I don't even cheat on you in my dreams!" No, he's not a cheater. Neither am I. Gotta love it.

Dody....if it offends you that some threads are off topic....then why do you visit them and even take the time to respond? Doesn't make much sense to me.

Anyhow....since I'm not totally consumed by my band and like to read other topics this goes to the rest of you....I am enjoying this thread and reading other's opinions and perceptions of cheating.

Carol

:nervous Dody.. Now that was funny

Dena, beautiful and touching story, thank you for sharing it. It shows that we all make mistakes, and when we do we can not only learn something from them, but build something stronger and better than before. You may have married young the two of you, but it seems that together through your years not only have you grown in love, but in wisdom too.

XO

Leila

This forum is turning into an advise column......where do these subjects come from. Are they from lapband patients? That was a simple statement with no explanation just I think I might cheat. Well, I've thought about pizza for awhile now too, but I'm not going to have any.

Should I take this seriously or get back to the topics at hand on lap-banding?

From what I've read, heard and lived, one partner making changes like getting banded and losing weight can have a dramatic effect on the dynamics of the marriage.

So it seems appropriate. Since it's gotten a lot of responses, I have to think it was interesting to a lot of us.

My husband and I have been married for 17 years, I have never cheated nor wanted too, either has he. However, since being banded, as I loose weight, when we "get together" I always tease him he's with another women, because theres always some where on me thats getting smaller!!

I think this is entirely apporprate. So many people have been so large for so long that they might not appricate themselves at all stages of their lives. Some people think that they will only be sexy if they are size BLA, and not BLA+blarg.

Many people who've used their size as a shield against unwanted sexual advances are caught completely blindsided when they start to lose weight, or have lost a significant amount of weight. For the first time, they are no longer invisible. It can come as quite a shock for many people, when they start to attract attention, perhaps for the first time.

Someone posted that their NSV was they were asked to dance. Holy crap! Such a small think is such a major thing.

I've never cheated on my husband, nor has he cheated on me. Not even when we were physically separated while I was attending ISU in exile. We were only separated because my scholarship is for ISU, and it didn't make sense to uproot their lives.

How do I know he's never cheated on me? If you were to ever see the two of us together, you would never ask that question. You would never have to ask, nor would it even enter your mind to ask.

My former husband cheated on me, but I must say that my current marriage is sound. We've been married for 7 years and there has been no cheating this time.

What's the difference between choice 2 and choice 4? I'm single........

DH and I have never cheated on each other.

Guess Im the odd one out, both of us have cheated. However we were 16 and 18 when married and started dating when I was 13 him 16...So I think we were just young and curious, our relationship is is great now and we've been married nearly 13 years.

Most of the people our age that got married got divirced...We just grew up together

If cheating can be defined by participating in an activity you wouldn't want your spouse to know about, I'm definitely cheating on my husband.

I'm involved in a torrid affair with QVC AND HSN. I keep telling myself I'm going to give it up, but it just keeps becoming more and more intense. Now I'm moving on to 'the hard stuff.' I'm making regular trips where I drive by the mall and I just know I'm going to crumble and *gulp* GO INSIDE!

I'm going to get help. I promise. Now where is that remote control? Or my car keys.

(Jeez, am I getting paranoid or do I really have to explain every time I make a joke?) (Even in the lounge.) (Get a grip.)

This is an interesting subject. I see the magazine articles all the time that say over 70% of men cheat! I find that to be so sad. My first marriage lasted for 13 years. Every year, on our anniversary my exhusband would bring up the subject and state that we always need to remember that we loved one another very much when we got together and if we ever felt the urge to cheat, we would get out of the marriage before hurting the other person. About two years before we divorced, he started telling me about this waitress at Sonny's and how nice she and her husband are. Next thing I know, we are best friends with them. They even rented the house next door to ours. She used to have to "work" late a lot and I would pick up her kids from daycare for her. My other friends started commenting that I should be concerned, that there was something going on between her and my husband. But, she had become my best friend and she wouldn't do that to me. Plus, my husband was not that type of guy. Guess what, I was so wrong. It was so nice of me to pick up her children so she could meet my husband at the local hotel for an afternoon romp. When I learned what was going on, it was the most devastating experience of my life. I felt so humiliated. But, what happened next turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to me. My husbands then best friend had been divorced for about 9 years. His first wife openly cheated on him all the time. He always said he knew how much that hurt and he could never do that to someone. When he found out what my ex did to me, he told him that the friendship had to end because he could not be friends with someone that he had no respect for. He then offered me his friendship, as he had gone through what I was going through and understood how it felt. That friendship turned into the most wonderful relationship of my life and we have now been married for 7 years. The sad thing is, even though we both are very devoted to each other and love each other more than anything, there is always that underlying fear. We were both hurt so bad in our previous marriages, that it is hard not to worry about it happening again. We have talked about it and how we know we would never do it to one another, and yet, if one of us is home a little later than expected, we get scared. It is really sad to live like that. Fortunately, as time has gone on, those feelings aren't there as often as they were in the beginning.