Hey fellow sleevers...

just thought I would put this out there for some feedback, firstly, if this, in anyway sounds negative... it is NOT meant to be!!! I am just looking for your thoughts and feelings on this.

I am a year out now and life is sweet. This is the best thing I have ever done for myself but I feel like I am now at a crossroads.

My weight loss is soooo slow it is painful! I know that my fastest and best time has gone and to be honest, since the New Year, things have been really hard and I have had to fight for every pound lost and inch gone! But that is ok... I am a fighter so I get on with it...

Now, I am wondering whether to stop fighting... just stop worring and get on with my life without making goal. I am starting to feel like a failure as each mini goal and weight loss challange that I have set myself, I have not achieved. There were other little goals that I set way back, that I also didn't make and this is starting to get to me e.g. When I booked the Take That tickets in October '10 I wanted to be a size 12(UK) for the gig... I didn't make it... I also wanted to be under 11 stone for my 40th birthday in April ... I didn't make it!

I don't like FAILURE...lol

So, my train of thought is slightly changing now... there is a part of me that would like to shift the rest of this weight... there is a part of me that is completely and utterly happy with how I am today and then there is this little competitive part of me that is desperate to get to about 135lb. I am also curious as to 1, how I will feel at this weight and 2, how I will look, as I haven't been that small since I was about 16yrs old!!

what do I do? Continue to fail or stop...

Then, my WLS nurse rang me... we discussed my slow weight loss, reasons for etc... she put a new spin on the whole goal idea, she said: 'Goal to me is when you are happy with yourself and you have a good quality of life; not so much about the scale or dress size.' This shocked me because I was expecting a telling off for not getting to goal in the year! In her eyes, I am successful as I have changed my life style and am now healthy and fit!

OK, so you're in my shoes... what would you do?

Thank you ALL for your words of wisdom... this is exactly what I needed to hear; different ideas and perspective because I feel too subjective about this, and hey ... we are all in the same position and I value each and every one of you!

It is really tough... but I think I am going to try and 'chill' out a little; sorta semi maintance for a while and see what happens.

I love the idea of exercise based goals; in fact my hubby said exactly the same thing. Truth is that is the only part of my body I can 'control', so over the next couple of weeks, I will focus on my boxing, gym work and walking. I am also gonna have a daily goal and concentrate on my fluids and not my food.

to put things into perspective... I am 5'2' (so, a short arse!) so 176lb is still 'obese' and my weight is mainly in my middle now. I am mainly a UK size 16 - today I bought a floaty top size 14 and a dress for our school prom that is also a size 14, that is 'cos of the style of the items; trousers and tops a 16 is a good, flattering fit. Oh, I haven't been in this size for about 17 years!!

So, yea, I don't think I am finished completely, but mentally I am exhausted and a few weeks 'chill-out' is probably the best way to let my mind relax and stop being so hard on myself!

I will keep you posted...lol...

It is my year anniversary in two days, so I will get some up to date pics on here too... gotta boost the ole ego somehow...lol!

xxx

How would you act differently if you went on "maintenance" than you do now......? Is it mostly psychological?

I LOVE this question! I'm at goal and not really changing any of my eating habits. It's the sleeve that has really brought me to this place. I JUST CAN NOT EAT A LOT EVEN IF I WANT TO LOL. I do weigh whenever, just to make sure I don't gain, I really do not want to lose anymore, and so far, so good. I'm not sure what I will do if that happens as far as losing goes, because I can't eat anymore, and I don't want to eat fatty stuff (not good for my heart). But again, so far, so good.

I do try and make good food choices, but do not weigh or count calories or carbs, and do allow the occasional cookies, or chips, or candy. I made up in my mind that I DO NOT WANT TO STRESS and would enjoy the journey and it's brought me to this place.

What about a different approach? Why not stop dieting & "do maintenance" for a while.

If you find you can easily maintain and like what you see in the mirror and your labs, be done.

If you can maintain, but feel like you are ready to try losing again (say in 3 months), go for it. Nothing says you have to make a FINAL decision today.

Give yourself some time to enjoy your new body and decide what goal really is for you.

I am so proud of you. You have done so well and have had the best attitude. I really wish we lived closer (or on the same continent) - it would be so cool to meet you face to face and just "chat". You are awesome woman!

I agree with Mini ,,,also I know of someone who is 18 months out and just lost 15lbs like that, so it is possible coops hugs to YOU!

What about a different approach? Why not stop dieting & "do maintenance" for a while.

If you find you can easily maintain and like what you see in the mirror and your labs, be done.

If you can maintain, but feel like you are ready to try losing again (say in 3 months), go for it. Nothing says you have to make a FINAL decision today.

Give yourself some time to enjoy your new body and decide what goal really is for you.

I am so proud of you. You have done so well and have had the best attitude. I really wish we lived closer (or on the same continent) - it would be so cool to meet you face to face and just "chat". You are awesome woman!

Hey Mini... ditto...

it is great to have this forum, but you are right, it would be good to chat face to face...

You speak such wisdom and are soooo kind... just what i NEEDED... thank you!

Hey Mini... ditto...

it is great to have this forum, but you are right, it would be good to chat face to face...

You speak such wisdom and are soooo kind... just what i NEEDED... thank you!

Consider yourself ((((((HUGGED))))))) from across the pond today!