Day 19. Wipeout

[crosswind 134]

Yesterday I woke up with a neckache and a backache and a jawache. There was some kind of weird effluvia on my pillow and I was in a terrible mood. Not stormy terrible, not the kind of terrible where you call up AT&T to complain about service cutoffs to telephones that don't exist -- terrible as in teary and and panicky, like I was just about to turn on the news and find out my town was most definitely going to be sucked into the center of the earth due to a lack of liquor sacrifices to the Town God.

I watched a woman have a fullon meltdown in the lobby of a hotel and wanted to smack her silly. She was one of those blonde sucked-in too-skinny women close to fifty who always seem to have sequins on them somewwhere; with the shortish yellow madonna hair that screamed she'd been cute all her life and planned to make everyone around her suffer at whim. Then I thought I lost my debit card and called the bank, who refused to send me a new one to my new address because I got my security questions WRONG. I was exhausted. I needed a nap. It was beautiful outside and that just made me cranky.

Then it dawned on me.

I'm sick!

And I was. I went to the clinic and got liquid Keflex for an ear infection that was so bad it had by that time crept into both ears and had turned me into an emotional toddler. I was seriously dehydrated and suddenly understood why my incision was still an incision and not a scar.

No wonder I had been crying all week. By yesterday I had nothing in my head except a black crayon scribble. I had gotten books out of the library and couldn't concentrate through half a chapter.

All of this, I thought, was because I got my stomach cut out less than three weeks ago. But apparently not.

I feel a little better today but my big plan to dive into the pool on Day 21 has been scrapped.

Anyway I guess the moral of the story here is that not everything is attributable to surgery. You can get sick *in addittion* to having no stomach and the results are specacularly miserable. It's hard to know exactly what's normal but I'm thinking the ability to read and comprehend sentences might be a clue.

On antibiotics for ten days. Sill grounded. Eleven days to solid food.

Suck.

Oh...and I lost 25 pounds. So there *is* that.

[cludgie 81]

I'm so sorry you are having such a tough time, I think I was quite lucky because I've had other abdominal surgeries, so I wasn't too blindsided by how I felt post op.

I can totally sympathise though because I had swine flu two weeks before my surgery was due, which left me feeling awful, and then just three weeks post op I got Norovirus, and couldn't even take liquids for over 3 days.

I was miserable, and I was terrified, so completely get how hideous things must have been for you.

On the positive side I'm now three months out, and I don't seem to have been any more or less prone to illness since my surgery than I was before, although I have felt a little more weak and shaky than normal, but then my body is both burning kcalories I'm not consuming, and trying to fight off whatever illness I have, so it's going to have to work a little harder.

Hope that your meds kick in soon, and that youn are feeling better quickly.

[Rainydayz 27]

Sorry you're feeling so crappy. It sucks to be sick whether or not you've just had major surgery, but probably more so because hey, you just had major surgery. I'm sure everything feels multiplied by infinity. Even now, pre-surgery, if I feel something like a little pain, or a little weirdness, I think that if I was already sleeved I might think it was due to that. So I'm trying to keep that in mind. But get thee to bed and pamper yourself for a while. Your body is still trying to get over major surgery and it needs all the help it can get. Feel better. Be good to yourself. Did I mention that you just had major surgery?

[Billy363627 15]

sorry to hear ya doing soo bad. You will bounch back and you will be awesome.good luck and hope ya feel better soon..

[KellyL 173]

Oh my, that sucks about the ear infections girl I have them pretty regularly but having 1 newly post-op? That's gotta mega-suck. Excellent point, I will have to watch for signs of illness and not just contribute everything to having my guts removed post-op. Glad you got meds to get over it, and hopefully it won't take too long!!

It's good to read that you still have your amusing creative writing ability despite it all! We can lose our tummies and our minds, and our dignity, and our carbs, and our lunch, but they can't take away our sense of humor!!! Haha

Take care and feel better soon!

Kelly

[MeMeMEEE 206]

feel better! On the bright side, can you count the liquid keflex as liquid? hehe

[crosswind 134]

Thanks wellwishers!

Funny thing is, I don't feel like I had major surgery. I imagine getting your stomach removed is pretty major, but since I had been so loaded with drugs and morphine my real memory was about how wild it was to just get punched out of the unverse via chemicals. I don't really *feel like* anything major happened at all. Except that I haven't been out of the country in twenty years and I got to go to Mexico.

I remember the day after surgery in the hospital. I got "Black Swan" off of Amazon digital and watched it all the way through. About a week later, back home, I realized I didn' remember how it ended so I went to a spolier site and realized I didn't remember half the movie. Or actually like...any of the movie. I apparently *had not seen* the movie.

So that was how drugged up I was through this .The first couple of days on clears are a blur. And then you're just waiting out your stomach.

It doesn't feel that major, frankly. In fact if this is major surgery I'll never be scared of it again. Especially once I figured out that even before they wheel you into the operating room you're already in another dimension.

[meggiep 57]

OMG no wonder you have been feeling so wonky!

Although my Jonesing for Crosswind post seemed to have offended everyone with my off attempt at humor, I really was worried about you as the day went on without you posting.

I hope my post did not offend you I have nothing but mad love for you, I think you know that!

DO your ears hurt? How very bizarre to have that happen right after a surgery that is so unknown to you that you couldn't recognize you were sick- and to have all that stuff swirling around your system while adjusting to the greater part of your stomach being gone.

And now you have to mess up your stomach again with antibiotic- make sure you eat yogurt with acidophilis if you can stand to- and maybe some chicken broth would help? Do you have someone to take care of you?

Aha- now the psychedelic experience at the beauty shop for the pedicure turns out to make sense as a fever dream ;-P

Feel better sweetie- you should be on the med soon with the antibiotic.

Kisses and hugs to you.

[crosswind 134]

OMG no wonder you have been feeling so wonky!

Although my Jonesing for Crosswind post seemed to have offended everyone with my off attempt at humor, I really was worried about you as the day went on without you posting.

I hope my post did not offend you I have nothing but mad love for you, I think you know that!

DO your ears hurt? How very bizarre to have that happen right after a surgery that is so unknown to you that you couldn't recognize you were sick- and to have all that stuff swirling around your system while adjusting to the greater part of your stomach being gone.

And now you have to mess up your stomach again with antibiotic- make sure you eat yogurt with acidophilis if you can stand to- and maybe some chicken broth would help? Do you have someone to take care of you?

Aha- now the psychedelic experience at the beauty shop for the pedicure turns out to make sense as a fever dream ;-P

Feel better sweetie- you should be on the med soon with the antibiotic.

Kisses and hugs to you.

Lol, Meggie, causing Utter Mayhem on Vertical Sleeve Talk again I see. I had to click on your recent posts to figure out what the heck you were talking about.

. Nice to know that if I actually *was* passed out on the floor with a glass of Vicodin somebody would notice. And you know, I did kind of have a thought that if I never posted again after Day 17 somebody might freak out and call the FBI...

So yeah, this is interesting.. I'm one of those adults who get "frequent ear infections" but that was about the last thing on my mind. I do feel better, I do feel more like myself ( sans stomach) so one has to imagine that anyone else going through the first month post-op is *very likely* to feel a little less like a crushed mouse. Good news for everyone I guess .

I sort of do not have anyone to take care of me.or any insurance. Or a stomach. Little known fact: My divorce was finalized the day of my surgery. Now is that a coincidence or what?

I know it's not climbing Kilimanjaro or anything but one reason I'm posting all this is because, look, if I can do this with my savings and no immediate family or any sanctions from the Borg, y'all have no excuse.

I think the "offended" poster just hadn't read the Vicodin installment. I thought it was pretty funny .

[meggiep 57]

And now I am laughing out loud again!

Fact is with my fentany patch and 90 dilaudid a month I am the last person to seem to be snarky about vicodin!

[fatBgone 6]

CW, ear infection does not sound good! Good luck, hope the meds kick in soon!

[mctaverne 1]

Thank you so much for this post. I am less than a week out from my surgery and have a horribly painful ear infection in both ears. It's nice to see that some of the problems I was having "pre" infection haziness was actually my body trying to fight the infection. I am going through a lot of the same emotional roller coaster that you were. That's why this forum is so great. Just when you think you are unique, you do a search and other people are having the same problems.