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I give up

I just came back from my check-up and I have lost little weight, so the “program” isn’t working for me. I left the doctor’s office crying after trying to explain about my IBS issues and why I cannot eat in the mornings. Right away the doctor wanted to blame me and he picked me apart in his office until I broke down and laughed at me. I asked him to help work the program around me rather than me for the program since not everyone is the same. I was humiliated and now I just don’t care anymore. I cannot get a physician to help with my nerve pain from a previous surgery that a doctor messed up on so I can exercise and I am tired of buying the expensive food, Vitamins, emotional; stress, and other BS this surgery has brought. I was told/accused of eating over what I should, which is BS, and that I must be responsible somehow, maybe the program should re-evaluate how patients are different, I was put on a high Protein and low calorie diet by the WL program and hit the floor as a result! I’ve held my chin up and made enormous changes to my life, but all that doesn’t matter-enough is enough, I just can’t keep letting this lifestyle drain me physically and emotional, I give up.

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  • Sounds like you need another team of medical professionals. I'm sorry you are struggling. If you'd like my help, feel free to contact me. If you need to vent, cry, scream, I'll listen and try to help

  • I have a question for anyone that may know. Even if we are taking a medication that can inhibit weight loss such as beta blockers.....when we've had approx. 85% of our tummies removed, how can we stop

Featured Replies

Sounds like you need another team of medical professionals. I'm sorry you are struggling. If you'd like my help, feel free to contact me. If you need to vent, cry, scream, I'll listen and try to help the best I can.

I agree that sometimes the guidelines are just that "guidelines", and we have to find what works for each of us, individually.

I'll keep you in my thoughts, and let me know if I can be of any assistance.

Don't give up. Try to find another medical professional that can help you.

I am just starting my journey and know I will have my BAD days. This will pass and you will get on track - just don't give up!

Hang in there - HUGZ

Oh my heart goes out to you. Shame on that doctor to make things feel hopeless. Dont give up just take a time out for a bit and get your thoughts together and your gumption back. Giving up doesnt make life stop. It will still be there, usually, in a worse state than you left it in. Sorry that just my experience anyway. God Bless.

I am so sad and so sorry that your doctor made you feel hopeless. I think my doctor is great at what he does (surgery), but I think they often need to get a better understanding of how differently individuals lose weight. I think more caring doctors are out there, and I really hope when you feel a little better, you'll seek out a more empathetic doctor!!! You deserve not to feel hopeless!!!

  • 2 weeks later...

I just came back from my check-up and I have lost little weight, so the “program” isn’t working for me. I left the doctor’s office crying after trying to explain about my IBS issues and why I cannot eat in the mornings. Right away the doctor wanted to blame me and he picked me apart in his office until I broke down and laughed at me. I asked him to help work the program around me rather than me for the program since not everyone is the same. I was humiliated and now I just don’t care anymore. I cannot get a physician to help with my nerve pain from a previous surgery that a doctor messed up on so I can exercise and I am tired of buying the expensive food, Vitamins, emotional; stress, and other BS this surgery has brought. I was told/accused of eating over what I should, which is BS, and that I must be responsible somehow, maybe the program should re-evaluate how patients are different, I was put on a high Protein and low calorie diet by the WL program and hit the floor as a result! I’ve held my chin up and made enormous changes to my life, but all that doesn’t matter-enough is enough, I just can’t keep letting this lifestyle drain me physically and emotional, I give up.

Have you tried going to a Pain Management doctor regarding your nerve pain? I suffer from chronic pain and was absolutely miserable until I found Dr. Huntley and his team. I am currently waiting for insurance approval to have a Precision Plus neuro-spinal stimulator implanted in my back. I did a trial using the device and it was the first time in 9 years that I wasn't in pain.

Please don't give up. Find another doctor. There are so many people on this site that will listen and try to help. Maybe you can find someone in your area that loves there doctor and you can switch. Be strong and whatever you decide, good luck.

I am so sorry. You don't deserve that. Maybe you could try upping your calories and see how your body responds. Many lose weight on 1200 calories and maybe your body needs that much. We are all different and your doctor should be supportive, not critical. I have to take in more than 30 carbs a day or I can't function at work. I am sure I could lose faster on lower carbs, but I just don't feel well. I would try some different things and see if your body will start losing again. Good luck and we are here for you anytime.

I just came back from my check-up and I have lost little weight, so the “program” isn’t working for me. I left the doctor’s office crying after trying to explain about my IBS issues and why I cannot eat in the mornings. Right away the doctor wanted to blame me and he picked me apart in his office until I broke down and laughed at me. I asked him to help work the program around me rather than me for the program since not everyone is the same. I was humiliated and now I just don’t care anymore. I cannot get a physician to help with my nerve pain from a previous surgery that a doctor messed up on so I can exercise and I am tired of buying the expensive food, Vitamins, emotional; stress, and other BS this surgery has brought. I was told/accused of eating over what I should, which is BS, and that I must be responsible somehow, maybe the program should re-evaluate how patients are different, I was put on a high Protein and low calorie diet by the WL program and hit the floor as a result! I’ve held my chin up and made enormous changes to my life, but all that doesn’t matter-enough is enough, I just can’t keep letting this lifestyle drain me physically and emotional, I give up.

VSGirl,

I am so deeply sorry and very troubled to see this. I do feel for you, for I endured a very similar experience with the surgeon who placed my lap band. Everything had to be my fault on why I stopped losing and especially when I'd gained my weight back.

It's really hard having someone who is supposed to help you and guide you not do what they can to help you achieve your goals. That frankly is his job, not yours. You should never have to tell him what needs to be done, and I can see with you doing that it didn't work anyway. I agree with everyone else here, it's probably time to find someone else - if you can. I realize it's not always that easy...

One thing I have to tell you is that you should never EVER give up!!! You ARE worth it always to give it another shot. You were brought into this world to make a difference somehow, and giving up is not going to achieve that. I never gave up, even though I went through years of torture - I found a way to make it work out for me - simply because I am worth it. We all are!!!

We are here for you anytime, share with us your struggles, and if we are what you need to lean on, let us be it. Sometimes Dr.s are just that - scientists performing their duty. A lot will lack the bedside manner that is so necessary to help their patients succeed, especially in something like this.

Let us know how you're doing, and please tell me you have decided against giving up. I really never like to hear anyone say that. It's not your fault, don't make it your fault. You deserve so much better.

  • 2 weeks later...

I just came back from my check-up and I have lost little weight, so the “program” isn’t working for me. I left the doctor’s office crying after trying to explain about my IBS issues and why I cannot eat in the mornings. Right away the doctor wanted to blame me and he picked me apart in his office until I broke down and laughed at me. I asked him to help work the program around me rather than me for the program since not everyone is the same. I was humiliated and now I just don’t care anymore. I cannot get a physician to help with my nerve pain from a previous surgery that a doctor messed up on so I can exercise and I am tired of buying the expensive food, Vitamins, emotional; stress, and other BS this surgery has brought. I was told/accused of eating over what I should, which is BS, and that I must be responsible somehow, maybe the program should re-evaluate how patients are different, I was put on a high Protein and low calorie diet by the WL program and hit the floor as a result! I’ve held my chin up and made enormous changes to my life, but all that doesn’t matter-enough is enough, I just can’t keep letting this lifestyle drain me physically and emotional, I give up.

awww, sweetie, please don't give up. There may be many things happening with you. Sometimes we get plateaus where our bodies are just "doing stuff" (who knows what). I've been on the plateau from heck for months and then, suddenly I started losing well again. Hang in, follow the rules and you will start losing again. It's not how fast you lose but just changing your lifestyle. It took me a long time but I did it and you can too! (I have IBS also) Sending a hug!!! ;)

Tomorrow is another day.. Just take a breath, have a good cry...and move on to Plan B.

You are worth the effort...you really are. And one thing I learned in life is when you are down, you cannot give up...because you have to love you more than anyone loves you. You deserve the best.

Have you ever read any of Joel Osteen's books. He helps me think positive and expect good things. I use those books in these times.

Turn it around, get another doctor, and vow to someday BLAST HIM in a letter and let him know just how you did find success in spite of him.

I think if your surgery is a successful tool, it should be working, right? Otherwise he should be looking at metabolic issues, etc.

Give up for today, but come back fighting tomorrow.

  • Author

I was right dam it!!!:angry: My doctor and the program neglected me. . I began to look toward the low carb diets when I found the answer in the Atkins book when I read taking beta-blockers will greatly hinder weight loss. Dr. Yarsbrough failed to even read my records to see I was taking Propranolol, a beta-blocker that is known to cause weight gain. I went to him for help and he destroyed my self esteem, degraded me ( by telling me I don’t know myself), demeaned me ( by laughing at me) and neglected to help me ( never looked at my records to see I was taking a beta blocker). Each question this doctor asked me, he nailed to the wall to fish an answer to why I wasn’t losing weight and how it can be blamed on me. He was very cruel and would like to stop him from doing this to others. If I did give up, I would'nt of found the solution. I am now back on track baby!! Because of the beta-blocker, I am the same weight I was two months ago, I found the answer. :P

I was right dam it!!!:angry: My doctor and the program neglected me. . I began to look toward the low carb diets when I found the answer in the Atkins book when I read taking beta-blockers will greatly hinder weight loss. Dr. Yarsbrough failed to even read my records to see I was taking Propranolol, a beta-blocker that is known to cause weight gain. I went to him for help and he destroyed my self esteem, degraded me ( by telling me I don’t know myself), demeaned me ( by laughing at me) and neglected to help me ( never looked at my records to see I was taking a beta blocker). Each question this doctor asked me, he nailed to the wall to fish an answer to why I wasn’t losing weight and how it can be blamed on me. He was very cruel and would like to stop him from doing this to others. If I did give up, I would'nt of found the solution. I am now back on track baby!! Because of the beta-blocker, I am the same weight I was two months ago, I found the answer. :P

Really proud of you that you stuck to your guns and found your solution despite your mean and unhelpful doctor!!! You have the tools you need to make this work, you just proved it!!! You are strong, persevering, and you know you have great potential! WAY TO GO!!!!

I was right dam it!!!:angry: My doctor and the program neglected me. . I began to look toward the low carb diets when I found the answer in the Atkins book when I read taking beta-blockers will greatly hinder weight loss. Dr. Yarsbrough failed to even read my records to see I was taking Propranolol, a beta-blocker that is known to cause weight gain. I went to him for help and he destroyed my self esteem, degraded me ( by telling me I don’t know myself), demeaned me ( by laughing at me) and neglected to help me ( never looked at my records to see I was taking a beta blocker). Each question this doctor asked me, he nailed to the wall to fish an answer to why I wasn’t losing weight and how it can be blamed on me. He was very cruel and would like to stop him from doing this to others. If I did give up, I would'nt of found the solution. I am now back on track baby!! Because of the beta-blocker, I am the same weight I was two months ago, I found the answer. :P

That's so great that you found the reason for the 2 month stall!

Are you able to stop taking the beta blocker?

  • 1 month later...

I have a question for anyone that may know. Even if we are taking a medication that can inhibit weight loss such as beta blockers.....when we've had approx. 85% of our tummies removed, how can we stop losing weight? This is a serious question. I don't see how that is possible, it may come off a little slower, but slow and steady is not a bad thing. Weight gain with these drugs is approx. 4 lbs. They are prescribed for high blood pressure, usually when diuretics haven't been successful, or for migraines when other migraine medication hasn't worked, or in conjunction with other migraine meds. Maybe try something else, if possible.

I am so happy you found some answers. I too have been more proactive in my own health for a while now. Researching online and reading has really helped me solve some of my own issues. I get very frustrated at drs for their lack of care and concern. The ones here make you wait 3-4 hrs to see them then walk in the room, barely even make eye contact, then leave the room, usually before you've had time to think of any questions to ask. So 3-4 hrs waiting to get less than 5 mins of their time. Ridiculous!!!!

The way your dr treated you is horrible. That was abuse if you ask me. Even if there wasn't a med affecting your loss, there is NO reason to treat a patient in that manner. Then to laugh at you?????? OMG I wanna slap him so bad!! He knows you had this done, he is treating you and one of the first things he should of done was look at your meds. I am truly appalled. I am so sorry you went through this, especially at a time you were probably already feeling bad and blaming yourself as it was. You trusted his skills and knowledge, and as drs we go in assuming they care about their patients. I am seriously sitting here questioning HIS sanity and mental stability. To be rude, uncaring, then downright cruel is unexcusable!

I hope you are able to report him, but if not I would definitely confront him, tell him what you discovered, tell him you think his behavior was unacceptable, and I would insist there be another medical person there as witness so anything he says back to you, you will have a witness. I would try not to be emotional, use an even tone of voice so he can't try to tell anyone you were a raving looney so he can put the blame on you. Then I would never see him again and tell him you are going to tell everyone you know, go to the newspaper and media to expose him and if their are websites that he's on that will allow you to leave a review, do it!! No wonder so many of us go to Mexico!! Not just cost but the arrogance of some drs is sickening. Bariatric patients generally already have low self esteem problems, without jerks like him to contribute to that. I am so p.o'd!!!!!! Sorry for my outburst lol

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