I have a friend who is also overweight, and we started looking into WLS together. At one point we talked about what we would do if one of us could do it and the other couldn't and we promised that we would continue to be supportive of each other no matter what. Well as it turned out, both of our insurances denied anything to do with the treatment of obesity. I was able to get a loan and have my surgery done in Mexico. My friend wasn't. Understandibly she was disappointed, but when she found out I was going she just kind of disappeared off the radar for a while. For her birthday, I bought tickets for a Muder Mystery dinner, it was night before last and it was the first "public eating" for me since my surgery 2 weeks ago. I am on the soft/mushy stage and was extremely anxious about what they would be serving. It turned out that it was a buffet - salad, scalloped potatoes, green Beans and BBQ brisket or a grilled chicken breast. When we were standing in line, I mentioned something about feeling anxious about other people at our table noticing that I wasn't eating much. She said "boy this thing is really messing with your head, isn't it?" I didn't answer, I felt kind of hurt that she said that to me, but I know she is still feeling bad that she didn't get to have the surgery like she wanted to.

At any rate, I took a small spoonful of potatoes, a small spoonful of green beans and a chicken breast. I ate a little of the potatoes and a few of the green beans, then cut up the chicken and sort of pushed everything around on my plate. It was kind of a small victory for me that I didn't overdo it, and I was perfectly content all night. I am looking forward to when these social situations that involve eating get a little easier.

I have been stuck on the same wt for about 3 days and wonder if I am doing something wrong or eating too much but then when I am tracking my calories, which right now are usually between300-400/day I know that I have to be doing ok. I think the old feelings of failing again creep in at times. I started at 291 postop and am now at 270, I haven't been in the 260's for YEARS and for some reason that 270 is holding on for dear life! :001_tongue: lol

My friend and I have been best buds since high school more than 20 years ago. I hope this won't be a detriment to our friendship.

Just venting - thanks for listening

Kathy

I have that same problem ... but my friends that are really my friends are there no matter what ... i did have one friend tell me that when i lost the weight that we were not going to be friends anymore.... cause she was not going to be my fat friend...lol... sooo stupid... but we will see what happens... but we call those people haters.... and we brush them off and keep going ... sooo dont worry you did this for you ...not for her....good luck

I have that same problem ... but my friends that are really my friends are there no matter what ... i did have one friend tell me that when i lost the weight that we were not going to be friends anymore.... cause she was not going to be my fat friend...lol... sooo stupid... but we will see what happens... but we call those people haters.... and we brush them off and keep going ... sooo dont worry you did this for you ...not for her....good luck

WoW that really sux! I'm sorry. How does that make her any better than those that look down on over weight people?

It would be terrible to discover that all the people I thought were my friends were really just users who kept me around to make themselves feel better about themselves. That would be terrible, I think it is a fear of mine, fear perhaps stemming from a deep seeded knowledge that indeed most of my friends are self-centered users who take much and give little.

Hi Globie, I really hope not. You sound such a nice fun person I can't believe your friends think of you that way.

Jane x

It would be terrible to discover that all the people I thought were my friends were really just users who kept me around to make themselves feel better about themselves. That would be terrible, I think it is a fear of mine, fear perhaps stemming from a deep seeded knowledge that indeed most of my friends are self-centered users who take much and give little.

I'm not that big, and I'm still the "fat friend" in one of my circles of friends. There's a bigger girl in my other group of friends (she's about 30 lbs heavier than I was pre-VSG) - she knows about my VSG and I asked her if it's something she'd consider, but she's not mentally ready for it, she's just focusing on accepting herself the way she is. It will be interesting to see whether the dynamics change once I'm the same as everybody else. Actually, considering I'm the only one who works out regularly (and HARD), I'll probably be in much better shape than everybody else, who am I kidding. Haha.

You do sound very considerate about your friend. It's hard for her and she will have to deal with it. Try opening it up, tell her how you feel, what you think about her behaviour and her situation, how you'd like her support but it's ok not to have it for a while etc, I think it would help.

I really wonder how/if the op is gonna change my relationship with my friends. One very very good friend of mine made a joke (that made me laugh at the moment but then was kinda weird...) and she said something like "when u become all thin and pretty and everything, I hope that we won't have to fight about girls" and we both started laughing about it (because we never had the same taste in women anyway and it was never an issue and we always joked about it but still it sounded weird if anyone knows what I mean - it's like she considers me a non-threat).

And that's what I think that could change (amongst other things)...Stop being considered a non-threat.

And about the stall. I hit mine at 9 days out! I'm 22 days post op and since day 9, I've lost like a pound and then getting it back etc.

Hi Qured, you can never tell how people will react but its better to give them the benefit of the doubt. All the changes you will experience in how you see yourself they will go through too in their own way. You are so lucky in Greece to have a summer BTW. The UK has been absolute pants for the last month!!

Jane x

Lucky for the greek summer? I think NOT! hehe It's been too hot, really, it's frustrating! And I can't tell what my post op energy levels actually are because it's too damn hot.

Aha, but when you have lost the weight the heat becomes your friend. I used to hate reallhy hot weather but now I crave it like a lizard! Do you have access to a pool at all? I would love to have that sort of thing here with a good climate. We are off to Portugal in a couple of weeks because I just can't stand the grey excuse for a summer we are having here.

Jane x

Hi Globie, I really hope not. You sound such a nice fun person I can't believe your friends think of you that way.

Jane x

That's very kind of you to say Jane, I remember why I've always liked the English! It's not so much that I think every friend of mine will drop me the moment I stop being the eternal flame, it's just that in cataloguing my friends I realize that every single one of them is more of a taker than a giver, and they all sit back and do not actively engage in the friendship of their own accord, I am always the one doing the reaching out.

Hi Globie, I found my friends changed over my life, slowly but surely. The friends we see most now are part givers as well as goers if you get my drift. I have had my fair share of friend who let you do all the running in the past. I *love* my friends that make the effort becasue it shows they care too. Plus they are grade A hoots and make mean cocktails. One of my daughters is in the process of sloughing off a couple of so-called friends now. She has come to the conclusion that they only drag her down and never support her when she needs a shoulder to cry on. I am really impressed that at nearly 19 she has seen this, it took me far longer to work it out! (My other daughter takes after her father and has always chosen friends wisely). She is so excited about going off to university in September, she is looking forward to meeting new people and has been deciding who she wants to make an effort to continue seeing in her school and vacation work friend groups.

All the best to you.

Jane x

Hey Jane. Yes I've got an open pool around here and I plan to start going there in a week (when I'm 1 month post op). I don't mind the hot weather in general but it's been like 100 degrees (give or take) for the past month! Today it's down to 90 and it feels much better! For me, the ideal weather is between 70-85 degrees with low humidity. Oh well...:cursing: