Quick i need info

[TiffanyIsMajor 1]

Ok so some of you know my dad ran his mouth to my ENTIRE family and now all of them are up in my business. My uncle sent me a text stating that he was going to call me tomorrow to "talk" about my decision. While I give two shits honestly, I WOULD like to be armed with some concrete info to tell him, but I really don't know what exactly to say. Can sone of you help me out, Like maybe the statistics on the regain rate in someone without surgery...things of that nature?

[Lee 19]

Why not just tell him that this is a personal decision made by your doctor and you, based on your health needs and risks. Let him know that the entire world wants to discuss your decision, but that it only causes you undue stress. Ask him to be supportive as a family member, but to keep his opinions to himself as they aren't helpful because he's not your physician.

[NtvTxn 1,262]

Ok so some of you know my dad ran his mouth to my ENTIRE family and now all of them are up in my business. My uncle sent me a text stating that he was going to call me tomorrow to "talk" about my decision. While I give two shits honestly, I WOULD like to be armed with some concrete info to tell him, but I really don't know what exactly to say. Can sone of you help me out, Like maybe the statistics on the regain rate in someone without surgery...things of that nature?

I would tell him that you've made your decision, this isn't a 'fix' - it's a tool to help you lose and keep the weight off. Does he have a computer? If so, tell HIM to google 'sleeve' weight loss surgery, and read until his heart is content. If he doesn't have one, he can visit the local library, they have computers. It is not your place to convince him of anything. I called my father and told him I was going to do something, he might not approve, but I was going to do it anyway. I am 50, I do not "NEED" anyone's approval. Support is 'grand' but approval, no. Amazingly enough, he IS supportive. Good luck to you, and be strong. I mean seriously, you are not asking him to pay for it, so he needs to mind his own business.

[SParkle 4]

If anything it proves your family love you enough to want to be involved.....but I can understand your nervousness.....I won't be telling any of my family (maybe after the event but not before....) as I know they will try and talk me out of it.

Why not find some links you can email him to look thru.....with information etc.

Also sit and explain to him why you want it.... many people (especially those who have never had weight issues) can't get their head around diets /yoyoing etc let alone surgery to help you.....

I'm sure if you do a search on here you'll find some info to help you.

Good luck

Kathy

[pnw218 14]

What they said and then screen your calls : )

He's not the boss of you and while his concern is nice, it's your life, not his.

[pumpkin07 32]

I'm thinking WHISH WHISH HELLO? HI SO NICE TO HEAR FROM YOU? HELLO? HELLO? CAN"T HEAR YOU UNCLE BOB. WHISH SWISH MUST BE A BAD CONNECTION. LOVE YOU WHISH WHISH WE WILL TALK AGAIN SO- "CLiCK"

[TiffanyIsMajor 1]

What is actually sad is that the only person in my family that has voiced their concern about my well being is my father, and he is the the one paying for the surgery. My sisters are mad because of it. To them, even though they are 19 and 23 it is "not fair" that I am having extra money spent on me. Especially for something "I can do on my own." That is actually the general consensus for the whole family. "I dont know why you cant just stop eating fast food three times a day and go to the gym."

What really makes me mad is I do have a thyroid condition, and while it isnt hard for me to lose weight if I drop down to 1200 calories a day and work out 3 hours, if I stop doing that I WON'T maintain it. And I dont mean STOP and start eating fast food again. I mean the slightest slacking off and I stop losing weight and it is very discouraging. I work out 3 times harder than my 135 pound body conscience sister, but it doesnt matter because I am not as thin as her. Everyone is right when they say you don't have to defend your decision to go with WLS, and I didnt. I just think it is complete BULLSHIT that that people think because I am fat that it is TOTALLY fair that I DO work 3 times as hard as any skinny girl and that I should have constantly live in fear and depression of what I eat and how I live my life, AND STILL NOT BE THIN. I am so sick of hearing "Just do this... or Just do that"....you know what? Just kiss my fat ass because I know what I am doing is ultimately going to make me happy... AND you can say I did it the easy way, or whatever..but we both know who is going to look more attracting in the family photos for holidays come November and December this year. Jealous bitches.

::hops off soapbox::

Fine. I am through venting.

If anything it proves your family love you enough to want to be involved.....but I can understand your nervousness.....I won't be telling any of my family (maybe after the event but not before....) as I know they will try and talk me out of it.

Why not find some links you can email him to look thru.....with information etc.

Also sit and explain to him why you want it.... many people (especially those who have never had weight issues) can't get their head around diets /yoyoing etc let alone surgery to help you.....

I'm sure if you do a search on here you'll find some info to help you.

Good luck

Kathy

[pnw218 14]

Tiffany, your dad can spend his money any way he wants. I am sure he will do something special for your sisters some day - if they get over the jealous bitch thing : )

Like you don't have enough on your mind regarding just the surgery and recovery. I don't remember when your surgery is - or if you have it scheduled yet, but maybe you can find somewhere to hide out for awhile so you can avoid any unwanted phone calls.

[TiffanyIsMajor 1]

Lol.

My surgery is in MX, I am going alone..Thank God...But not leaving until April 19th...Oh and I live with my sisters...It really isnt that they are being horrible to me, I am just pretty much not talking about it because it always say things that start with "After surgery..." That always ends with my sister saying, "Well why dont you start a diet now, then you wouldnt need surgery" Everything is an easy answer for thin person talking about how to "fix" my problem. Am I the only person that wants to punch someone in the face when they are like, "Maybe if you didnt eat Burger King you wouldnt have a problem" SURELY NOT. Basically I am soooo excited, and honestly no one understands it but you guys. No one understands why, yes I am scheduled for vgs, but I cant stop sucking everything in the house down. No one gets why I don't want to do anything or go anywhere. Surgery is like a rebirth for me, and in my head Nothing I do now (short of herion) is going to affect my new life and journey.So NO I dont want a Diet coke right now, and NO I do not want to go to the gym. I know it sounds like I am just procrastinating ...but really I cant wait to get back to the gym...but I cant wait because I KNOW i'll see results, In my NEW life after my surgery.

[pnw218 14]

My oldest daughter was not happy at all when I told her that I had surgery in Mexico. She is 5'9" and slender. Clueless about the struggles of being overweight. Because my youngest daughter still lives at home, I did tell her ahead of time. She is 15. Her only concern was if I would be skinnier than her. LOL Ok, even if I weighed the exact same as her, she is almost 5'10" and I am 5'4". I told her that 130 pounds would always look better on her!

I am glad that I was able to do my surgery quickly - within 3 weeks of deciding on it, cause I would have driven my husband crazy talking non-stop about finally losing weight.

And there was no dieting for me ahead of time. Had it been ordered, I would have, but not happily. I was eating anything I wanted for Breakfast, lunch and dinner. If only I would have eaten at Wendy's just one more time . . . .

[SParkle 4]

What is actually sad is that the only person in my family that has voiced their concern about my well being is my father, and he is the the one paying for the surgery. My sisters are mad because of it. To them, even though they are 19 and 23 it is "not fair" that I am having extra money spent on me. Especially for something "I can do on my own." That is actually the general consensus for the whole family. "I dont know why you cant just stop eating fast food three times a day and go to the gym."

What really makes me mad is I do have a thyroid condition, and while it isnt hard for me to lose weight if I drop down to 1200 calories a day and work out 3 hours, if I stop doing that I WON'T maintain it. And I dont mean STOP and start eating fast food again. I mean the slightest slacking off and I stop losing weight and it is very discouraging. I work out 3 times harder than my 135 pound body conscience sister, but it doesnt matter because I am not as thin as her. Everyone is right when they say you don't have to defend your decision to go with WLS, and I didnt. I just think it is complete BULLSHIT that that people think because I am fat that it is TOTALLY fair that I DO work 3 times as hard as any skinny girl and that I should have constantly live in fear and depression of what I eat and how I live my life, AND STILL NOT BE THIN. I am so sick of hearing "Just do this... or Just do that"....you know what? Just kiss my fat ass because I know what I am doing is ultimately going to make me happy... AND you can say I did it the easy way, or whatever..but we both know who is going to look more attracting in the family photos for holidays come November and December this year. Jealous bitches.

::hops off soapbox::

Fine. I am through venting.

I'm sorry I didn't understand your whole situation.....and I do hope you'll manage to avoid much more confrontation about your surgery (counting the days for you!!) and your rebirth.

[cwalker 12]

I think you are doing the right thing by having surgery, My daughter had a bypass in Sept. 09, I knew this was her chance at life, I helped her and she will be there for me. It's like people don't get it you've tried and how many times do we have to admit defeat ? Who can live at the gym and who can exist on Slim Fast? Ignore your sisters, they should be ashamed for not supporting you! Just stay close to your Dad so he can be there $$$ and emotionally, aren't the people on here the greatest? :biggrin0:Carla

[wannalise 15]

This is the time when you just do. Do your preop and when you struggle come here, do your surgery and rely fully on your surgeon and his staff, and then do your post op diets. It is hard! But nothing shuts people up who don't support you quicker than results. I had lots of criticism and I went out of my way to tell very few people, but after surgery there really isn't much left for people to say. Its a done deal and fail or succeed it is all YOURS. No one else can claim your victories or your slips. Just you and you will be amazing!

Edited April 5, 2010 by wannalise
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