Has any one split/ divorce because of the new you?

It sure happens, Joe. For better or worse, a huge weight loss affects everything in our lives. I personally would hope that a weight loss alone couldn't spell the end of a marriage; I'd think there would have had to be other things at work.

Hope you're not going through anything painful. :hug:

Sorry to hijack the thread, but Joe...

WOW! Great job on the loss. An amazing difference in the pics!

No problem, big paul and thank you.

Thanks Alex, At this point its questionable.

Hi,

Not yet, still hanging on by a thread.....

Yes, it really changes the dynamic of the relationship and exacerbates the problems that were already there in mine.....

Babs in TX

334/180 ish

-150 ish

My two cents worth: I don't think it will negatively affect a marriage/relationship unless there was already something fundamentally "wrong" with it. Obviously the communication has to be completely open with the significant other from pre-band onwards.....

Good luck Joe...if you are facing some hard decisions.

I agree if there were already problems before then it seems to get worse after. I think as the person who goes through the loss of weight realizes they want more for themselves and refuses to settle for the norm before the weight loss everything tends to be an issue. All I can say Joe is talking about your concerns now and laying everything out in the open with your wife would be a start on adding to the new you.

Good Job on you loss..

My dh has asked me a few times jokingly if I was going to leave him once I am skinny. I am not. But I can see where this would stress an already bad marriage.

HI

Thanks for your replies.

hang in there, I believe God will guide you

Joe, I believe that you did something that was in your best interest for your health. I'm really sorry that your wife did not realize that. I had the same worries about my husband and our marriage but the bottom line is that you really need to be with someone who puts your concerns first. Right now you need to focus on you and not on how your wife feels compromised. If she truly loves you she will come around and if not, you need to love yourself enough to know that you will be ok no matter what. I know first hand how much our weight affects how we feel about ourselves but we need to remember that we are not defined by the scale but by how we show our true selves to eachother. Please remember that you can always find support and encouragement from those that are going through the same things that you are and dont give up. It might just be a phase that your wife needs to adjust to. Please keep in touch.

Things getting rockier here, the loss has changed me inside and out and I have realized that I am worth something and it's ok to want things that have been a problem for us always, but right now we're working on it. Communicatin is a key, hopefully the lock still works!

Good luck!

Im always sorry to hear things like this. With my first marrige my husband was insecure with himself and when I lost weight, it was a sign to him that things were shaky and our marriage lasted only a few months after that.

I think it depends solely on the 2 people involved in the relationship. My husband now is welcoming each and every day that I am losing weight and other than a couple of glitches is ok with me losing more weight. He says whatever makes me happy he is ok with.

Well, DH has been wonderful about the weight loss, weight gain and weight loss again, so I can't complain. With this time has been new adventures for both of us and we are loving it!

My husband (what is DH?) is very happy for me that I am losing the weight, however, he is paranoid as hell now. He knows, that in the 6 years we've been together, I have never and would never..compromise our marriage. I'd leave first before I did anything foolish.

In the same retrospect...I am worried. Daily I am dropping weight and inches and i am busting my ass too. I am discouraged at times when I see him not ever making an effort to join me or to even do anything but work, sleep, eat and.... He is 5ft 8inches (my shorty) and he's afraid to tell me his weight but I do believe it's about 260 or more. I am not the only one in here that needs to lose the weight.

For me personally, I am soo afraid that when i do hit my goal or on my way to it, I may want to surround myself more...with people that have the same lifestyle..Healthy and active.

I feel bad and this will sound horrible but, I am upset with him for not making some effort. As I bust my ass on the treadmill and have my Protein shakes, I see him in the living room eating a bag of cheetos and watching TV. I don't want to judge him because I know how it feels, and still feels, but at the same time, it breaks my heart to see that he's not with me..mentally on the weight loss goals.

Am I a bad person for thinking this?

It seemed the more I lost or his family noticed. They would always comment that he was gaining the weight I was losing. I would always tell him he looked fine to me. I am unconditional I did not care if he was rounder or more rounder. But I guess he did! He would do everything to sabatoge me or if I could not join him in eating out he would go by himself. As the year went on 2005 I was left more alone - at first he would take the boys while I went on errands - then it got to the point he would not even take them but push for me to take them. I would always tell him " If someone is going to cheat believe me they will do it with or with out the kids" (We even talked about something like that happening. I always said I would wait till a divorce was over to persue a relationship with someone else). I guess that was his way of showing me that he was unhappy when in the begining he supported me. Slowly issues came up that had always been there but this time they were more extreme. No matter how much I talked to him and told him my feelings he became more reserved and would go out of his way to confrontational. Not physical but more standing his ground even when he knew his was wrong. I do recall one day he said I had changed, I asked him how so and he just said I was different and would not comment. I Love him to this day but it is not the love that makes a marriage work and I wish him all the best but I could not settle for someone that felt insecure about themselves and pushing their feelings on to me..

This is the first time I have really expressed a part of my life that I refused to deal with but with Spring comes a new change. That is my way of thinking. I made a New Years resolution that I was not going to settle for the norm nor were my children going to suffer for their fathers change. I have no clue if he was having a mid lifes crisis or it was my weight. I decided I wanted more out of the life I have left and the man I married changed So I decided to End it. Don't get me wrong there were so many issues this is just one of them.

I hope that anyone out there having issues - talk to your spouse and see if you all can return to the same path you once were on and not take the fork in the road. I really thought I would spend the rest of my life with this man but all things come to an end..