For starters, I'm 56 and my father, bless him, is 96 so his opinions shaped me-literally- a long time ago. I've always known he wanted everyone around him to be slender but I had no idea till tonight how strongly he felt. We were discussing NJ's Governor Christie and my father commented that while he liked Christie he would never vote for him. I thought it was because Christie is republican. Nope, my father said how could anyone respect someone who was so fat, and if he (Christie) couldn't control what he put in his mouth how could he control anything. I was rather speechless, I'm not going to try to educate, or change, someone at 96 years of age, but it really makes me realize that weight really is his issue imposed on me. It validates how awful my visits were for me when I was really fat, and that while he loves me his attitude sure hasn't helped me. It also dawned on me that when I was 'fat' as a teenager and young adult I really wasn't!! I just calculated my bmi from then and it was 22.3! And I would have told you I was fat back then, and meant it. Just goes to show how we can alway learn from our past. I love him with all my heart but man, did he do number on me!

Not as important as a parent, but my godmother/aunt told me I would never have friends, no one hangs out with fat people. I wasnt fat when she first started her mantra, but I self fullfilled that prophecy.

That is truly sad and I'm really sorry. But like you said , there ain't no changing him now.

I'm glad you were able to learn something from this, and you even have given us much thought by telling this story. What comes to my mind right away is " don't judge a book by it's cover"& "judge not and ye shall not be judge".

May we all look at others differences and accept them for who they are and not by their outward appearances.

My father has made comments a little like that in the past. Right now I am the apple of his eye because I am again slender... But I still remember the comments and still makes about my niece and step sister. The only thing weight can change in a person is there health and appearance. They are still going to be the same person on the inside... And even then you can still have health issues as a skinny person and be unattractive as a skinny person...

It's amazing how people think!!! Sorry you had to hear that and no you won't change him, so just take what he says in one ear and out the other!!

comments my mother made to me (about me being fat at 10 yrs old even when i was a peewee cheerleader and a gymnast) and then even in high school in cheering....it haunts me to this day at 47 yrs old.....i hear her often especially when i get down..

i find that peope who love to point fingers have 4 more pointing back at them...shame on anyone who is intentionally cruel...this is why i am a compassionate person now as i know how it feels to be judged...

big hugs from north carolina

It's amazing the comments we remember. I heard an elementary teacher tell another student that I would have a hard time having having children if I didn't lose weight!?!? It haunted me for years...until my three beautiful children came along - no problem.

I can tell you the person's names, the place and time they asked, "when are you due?" I would never ask someone that unless they told me directly they were pregnant. Whew...don't like going down that memory lane.