Hello! My name is Melissa and I'm from New Jersey. I've been struggling with my weight since college and finally decided to do something about it. I'm 32 and I have two small children who I would like to keep up with! My BMI is about a 35, and I have sleep apnea and depression. Ive tried diet and exercise but nothing seems to work for me. I'm going to a seminar on Tuesday and I am so scared. I'm scared about the pre-op diet, the surgery itself, post-op, EVERYTHING! I'm wondering what holidays will look like after I've had the surgery.... Will I be sitting in the corner with some applesauce while everyone is enjoying the turkey and stuffing?? I love food!!! I guess I could just use some words of encouragement. I'm so glad I stumbled on this website!

Hi Melissa,

How are you? I am from Newark NJ. I have no kids, living with my boyfriend, nearby my parents.. I know exactly how you feel.. I LOVE foods too.. I crave foods everyday and always want to eat.. Quiting cold turkey is hard!! but I don't know how long will I have my medeical insurance... So I figured, better now then never!!

My weight was too much in the danger zone. I'm a short girl and my weight is way too high.. Everything you mention is hard BUT it's something that has to get done. So I'm doing my liquid diet, had my surgery on 8/28/12 and my stomach is still very delicate..

So if you can have this surgery done, go for it!! It will be worth it in the end =)

I hear ya sister. Im 45 and live in NYC. I'm 5'7" and 200 lbs. I have 2 small kids ( 7 and 2 years old) and have had back surgery for a herniated disc. My back pain really slows me down and I am having a second surgery this fall. But before I do I am having lap band surgery.

Im scheduled for my intake sept 19th. Im terrified. and at first I had no idea if I would back out or not. But I find that I am not buying clothes ( because I keep thinking - I'm gonna be too skinny to wear these). Today I went into a regular size store to buy some makeup and I asked myself, what would I wear if I could wear anything. And I actually went shopping for the future me. I didnt buy things, but I saw such cute styles and I imagined wearing them, and I realized how much I miss that art of dressing yourself! There were so many cute things that I cant wear because I dont wear regular size clothes. It seemed like so much fun to express my style in clothes that are quirky and fun instead of just whatever the plus size shops are offering that season.

I am constantly eating my meals and thinking about how different it will be once I'm banded. There will certainly be things I miss. But lets face it, there are things I miss by being overweight that I will get back. Health, freedom from pain, the ability to keep up with my kids, a love life, hahah...true! I'm recently divorced and too self conscious to date or get physical since I'm so much bigger than I was last time I was single.

So I lose out on pulled pork sandwiches. But I'm going to regain a lot of things Im missing out on. Keep the faith. Put one foot in front of the other. As you get closer, the choice will be clear to you. For me I just know I do not have the discipline to lose the weight I want to and keep it off. I know this about myself because I want to be thin more than anything. It is the single one thing I can do for myself that will most improve my life, and yet I can not do it without surgery.

My mom actually did me a big favor today. We were talking about her weight and she is MUCH more overweight than I am and has more health problems because of it. She told me, "I have considered having that surgery too but I dont have the guts". And then it occurred to me, that I am brave to do this. Its a bold move. But I have always been a girl who moved mountains to get what I want, and for me, its gonna take moving a mountain to get me thin. Still I like the idea that in doing this I'm brave. Its a much better self image than spineless and undisciplined !!

I wish you clarity.

I have been doing research online about lap band and plan on making an appointment with the surgeon soon. I am 26 years old I have been overweight since about 17. I am diabetic and also have been diagnosed with fatty liver. I take 7 different medications two times a day. I have tried dieting and that just doesn't work for me. I just wanted to give a little background on myself.

Thanks for sharing the background on yourself. Some days I read the scary posts. Some days I read the inspirational posts. None of us really knows how things will turn out for us. I want to know the whole deal, the good the bad and the ugly. In the end I think it may suck, but I may get then, and thats not going to be happening unless I do something drastic. Have courage and keep sharing all your thoughts. You are not alone.

Thank you so much for your kind words everyone! While my husband is supportive, he doesn't really understand what I am going through. It's nice to have a place full of people who really get it!

I think I might be the first post-band surgery to post. It is natural to be nervous, etc. But it is the best thing I've done for myself! The 15 days of pre-op shakes and chicken broth weren't the most fun, but finding the right mix and combinations made all the difference. It really wasn't that hard. We did tend to stay around the house on the weekends, but since then, we have had parties and outings and even business lunches and dinners. Here's what I've noticed...I eat like a skinny person! Sticking to the proteins mostly and a little vegetables as sides. No desserts--or just a bite--not because I dont want it or like it, but because I'm FULL. I dont want to eat more and I dont get my first fill until next week. I know this is still a long journey, but so far, I'm loving it. Get a copy of the book The Beck Diet Solution. It will help you because even tho it isn't surgery related, it talks about how skinny people think and that, if you do it right, is what happens with the lap band.

I'm getting banded on 9/17 and I too am nervous and excited! I want to be skinny, and its going to be hard breaking up with food, but I have to if I want to be skinny and healthy I haven't bought any new clothes since March - that's been the hardest part for me. I'm going to miss Lane Bryant but when I think about how next spring I should be able to walk into any store and be able to buy something, it puts it into perspective. I hope to think like a thin person, but I don't want to be the person who lost a lot of weight and then ditches her old friends. I have told my friends to call me out if I ever do! Good luck to you!

You must have read my mind. I'm from nj too and my big day is in 3 big days! Woohoo. I'm nervous and excited too. I'm tired of being the ultimate yo-yo dieter. And yes I have depression and beat myself mentally about it.

Good luck to all. Keep in touch with me I hear from all of you!

Where in Jersey are you two from? I'm from Newark, NJ

Union for now

Are you moving out of Union?

in the future with bf

I just was banded on 8/20 i was terrified of everything too. U come from an obese family. My mom passed away at age 59 weighing >600 lbs. She had gastric bypass but never came home from the surgery. So gastric bypass was nit for me. So I chose lapband and I have lost 39# so far! The shakes preop weren't bad and i split mine up so I would have a half shake every 3-4 hours. Many days I didn't get them all in wasn't hungry! Go for it!

Oh wow. I'm sorry to hear about you mom but good for you. I know I'm getting myself all worked up and things will be okay that I really need this. Its not like I want bigger boobs lol! However I am very very scared cause grandma just had an accident and is in the hosp. Please help me to pray for her recovery

Banded in April last year and have lost 63kg (135 lb or so). I remember the pre- and post-op excitement vividly! Just remember that this is a marathon and not a sprint. The band is a tool which will help you reach your dreams but you still have to make the right food choices and do the exercise to get the results. I'm not saying this to be negative or to rain on your parades, but because I wish that I had understood those points more fully before hand. It wouldn't have changed my decision but my early expectations could have been more realistic.

Good luck to you all!