I am new to the forum and am here to learn as much as I possibly can to determine if I really want to pursue surgery to lose weight.

Looking back at old photos, I wonder how it escaped me, but I truly didn't know I was fat until I was in the first grade. This realization came about when my pediatrician told my mom that she needed to put me on a diet. I remember that day like it was yesterday. My life was never the same.

My story is similar to others. As an adult, my weight has ranged from a low of 118 (during the short time period in my life when I had absolutely no hunger because my doctor prescribed Phen-Fen) to a high of 219. Like most obese adults, I have tried many weight loss programs over the years and have had brief periods of success when I have lost 20-70+ pounds. I am good at following weight loss programs, particularly the rigid medically-supervised fasts. However, though I have been committed to walking 5 miles almost every day for 20+ years, I always gain back the pounds I have lost. I make healthy food choices, for the most part, but I am always hungry. Consequently, I eat way too much.

In 2009, I reached the point of desperation, realizing that with the excess weight I possessed, I would unlikely be able to be as physically active as I age. This realization led to a plan to seek lap band surgery. Unfortunately, my insurance company required that my medical record show failure to sustain weight loss within the two years preceding surgery and documentation of my progress toward a goal of weight loss. I didn't possess the needed medical documentation. Thus, I have continued to struggle the last two years.

This past week, as I entered my surgeon's waiting area at the end of the day, I felt tremendous excitement. However, the surgeon was running very late and as the minutes ticked by, numerous negative thoughts began invading my mind. I am typically an optimist by nature, so these thoughts were definitely confusing. I simultaneously felt: defeated because I was considering resorting to surgery to lose weight; scared that lap band surgery would be yet another failure in an series of lifelong attempts to maintain a healthy weight; worried about the possible complications associated with surgery; anxious about whether my insurance company would approve the procedure this time; embarrassed that I had allowed my weight to spiral this far out of control once again. When it was finally my turn to meet with the surgeon, I calmed down and eagerly asked all of the questions on my list. Though he answered all of my questions, I left his office feeling somewhat discouraged because there were no clear-cut answers to my questions. Now, I am uncertain about whether lap band surgery is the best option for me, so yet again, I am trying to gather more information.

During the short time I have been here, I have been able to acquire a wealth of information. I am inspired by others' stories of success and appreciate everyone who generously shares their knowledge and experiences. I hope that I will, too, be able to contribute someday.

I have had some of the same feelings I felt like I was failing myself by not being able to do it on my own, but everytime I go down that path I take the higher road in my mind (which is not always easy!) and tell myself not to look back. I am doing this for me no matter how I got to this place in my life I never dealt with it properly in the past so now I am taking charge of me and making a journey to better eating habits and accountability! Good luck!

Thank you for the good advice, journey4me!

I too had looked at surgery one time an then put it down for two years. In those two years i gained more weight. lost my dad to obesity my sister had gastric done an did well (but i am nervous of that one). So i bit the bullet an was banded onOct 2011. An iamso glad i did. I will never look back i LOVE my band

Welcome to LBT. WLS is the final step for most of us. We have tried and tried. Much of our society looks at us as failures. We are not, we are in need of a medical treatment. Obesity is a disease. WLS is a treatment of a disease.

Depressed people used to be locked away by society. Now there are medications. Should they not accept treatment? If you needed a new heart valve, should you not accept that treatment?

If you have pain in your leg, should you amputate? Certainly not immediately. You should see if it is a bruise. If it is, let it heal. If a sprain, put ice on it. If it is a hairline fracture, put a cast on it. If the break is caused by cancer, you try chemo or radiation, or surgery to remove the cancer. The last resort would be amputation.

So it goes with WLS for most of us. We have tried conservative treatments. We arrived at surgery as a final straw after years of diet, exercise, and sometimes medications. All of which have failed us. Don't be embarrassed or ashamed of the need for medical treatment. Ever.

tym4me and Cocoabean,

Thank you for your encouragement.

Cocoabean, I also appreciate all the good points you made about WLS being a medical treatment. You are absolutely right! I am working on getting my head to accept this truth.