Just thought I would put this out there- I have an appt with my primary doc on Tuesday, I have an appt with a Lap Band surgeon on Dec 1. (with a note if an appt opens up to get in sooner)

Background- 6'5" 400 lbs, type 2 diabetic, 6 shots a day, sleep apnea, 2 anti deps, ZERO energy, no sex life/drive, seem to be taking naps constantly. Right now I am all over the map with my food.Part of me is of the mindset 'if I have the surgery then I can eat whatever crap I want until then' mentality.(dinner was 1/2 gallon of frozen yogurt). I crave carbs/sugars. I rarely eat veggies. My feet/knees ache. I work in a retail warehouse environment, and find myself wanting to work less/sit more. My family, while supportive is concerned that I think this is a magic button. Food is my (depending on the moment) refuge, lover, curse, best friend, killer, numbing agent, etc....). I find myself not caring about seeking a relationship (why not I have one with food). I have two wonderful dogs but... and want to 'be around' for them. Yet I am tired and grumpy- my joy is my lunch nap! (smile)

So if I do get the surgery- what prevents me from figuring out how to 'work around it'? I do know I am SICK of 'where I am'. I feel like this is the bottom... I also know I am very intelligent with is a curse/blessing. Am I looking to the band to be a 'magic button'? I have been in touch with some amazing folks from here (thanks guys!)

Why not just get the will power and EAT RIGHT? (I have lost and gained and lost and gained....) Every time I have gotten close to the magic 299 (sound of clouds parting, music, lights) I freak.... I have done eating disorder clinic (30 days) weight watchers (even published a cook book, taught healthy cooking) I 'know the drill' (but hate cooking for one). I even did Protein tablets 20+ years ago (how silly that seems now, tablets 2 meals a day to lose weight!).

Any one else 'there'? Would love to hear your side(s)

I have talked to my doc several times- the last time he showed me the '3 little cups' and I FREAKED but at this point....I dunno i am ready to do what I need to do (yet saying that I turn to ice cream, I guess I worry that if I am 'so ready' why am I not eating salads and low carb stuff??

In Eating Disorder hospital it was commented there are not drive thru liquor stores or crack houses... someone with a 6 pack of booze in the front seat (or a crack pipe) would get pulled over, but a 500lb person with a 6 pack of donuts would not....

I just watched one guy and to be honest, was disturbed about how much he talked about...food! he was showing off what he was eating...at the end, while talkinga bout his weight loss, was saying how much he enjoyed eating ribs in week 5.....did I miss something?

am also seeing there is a lot of JUNK out there.... whew....like weeding thru....

Pendulum,

I have always said, food is my drug and the grocery store is my crack house...so I understand completely! The problem is a crackhead quites cold turkey and could live without food, a food addict has to eat to live. Hard to live with an addict. So now I see it as a divorce, food and I need to separate amicably as if we had kids together lol. FYI On this journey I chose to tell only 3 people because I don't need negative reaction.

I'd like to put in my two cents' worth here. I have battled with weight for most of my life and reached a point where my knees ached constantly, I was on multiple medications for high blood pressure, a dr was telling me I wouldn't live to see grandchildren, I struggled to buy clothes etc etc. But it was my husband saying that he didn't want me to die, he wanted me around for a very long time, that woke me up to how I was killing myself with food.

I was banded on April 13 this year and have lost 100lb in six months. My surgeon is almost as thrilled as I am, my GP keeps saying she doesn't recognise me. I don't recognise my new life at times! I can dance all night and still walk the next day. I am down to just one medication for BP and hoping that will be gone soon. My son is getting married next year so there may well be grandchildren to follow And I am buying nice new clothes from the "normal" stores.

It hasn't been easy all the way but I do recognise that I am one of the lucky ones for whom the band has worked exceptionally well, plus I have a great support system in my husband, family and friends. In fact, my night owl husband now jumps out of bed to go walking, swimming or cycling with me most mornings. What a guy!

Best of luck with whatever path you take but I hope that you find a way to overcome and to enjoy a longer, healthier life.

I think in this situation it may be a good idea to also see a therapist along with working the band to help out with the mental aspect.

I feel the same...I have tried it all!!! I am worried but I think I just came to point in my life that I need to break up with food! I have had enough bagels, chips, pizza etc., in the last 16 years of my life. Its time for me to regain it back from food. I know it will take work but this time I want to get all the way there and keep it the fat away for good. I will do my part and I am hoping that the Lapband will do its part to help me keep it off. Everytime someone tells me that I won't be able to eat something I am not even nervous about it. I am not even thinking that I going to cheat the band. I am still wrapping my head around the fact that I will be putting a band around my stomach but it not a decision that came to me easily. In 2008 I did not get the Lapand because I didn't want to stop drinking Diet Pepsi!!!! Ridiculous I know. Just reading it, I realize how ridiculous that a drink kept me away from my goal. I went on to lose weight at the gym and I gained it back and then some. Last time that it will ever happen. Its been a nice and interesting relationship but an abusive one...I must move on and live with food amicably. Looking forward to another stage of my life!

Speak to your surgeon about options, believe in yourself and Good Luck!

I too am a coke addict, a diet coke addict, it's the one thing I have the hardest time giving up. My surgery is Dec 1st, I am slowly weening off the diet coke and should be off it completely and forever by weeks end. As ridiculous as it sounds, you're not the only one. It's crazy how much we let food or drinks prevent us from becoming so much more. But no more!!

Well, saw my primary care doc today. Good visit (as always) a really amazing group of folks. He supports me 200% in this. Also had a good sniff/tears with him.

He pointed out 3 things I need to feel good about.

1) I have a great dog(s)- one is 1 1/2 years old, the other 15 1/2 years old that give me joy.

2) I have added a new anti-dep that will kick in in about 3-4 weeks. (I always forget that having uncontrolled diabetes really plays havoc with depression, among other things).

3) I have made a very good step along a new path that will add years to my life.

Short version, diabetes (type 2) is not under control, cholesterol/triglicerides are not under control, BP was up a tad. (they ran an EKG and it was okay). His nurse said that he normally is not a fan of banding (the nurse not the doc) but in my case it will radically change my life for the better.

Per the docs request I am making a follow-up with my endocrinologist this week (or as soon as I can get an appt).

I am still 'on' for my consult December 1st.

Glad I went. I had some political BS happen at work and it pushed ALL my worry/paranoid buttons (esp in this job market) my doc had a very good suggestion, I am going to my store mgr and sitting down with him for a second and telling him that I am working with my medical team to have surgery I want to be a better associate (aka employee) and that this surgery will add life, joy, etc to my work and ALSO that I am on new meds and they should kick in in the next few weeks and make a difference. I realize that I am slower, lazier, tired-er, less inspired right now.

Oh, I am at an all time high weight wise- 398 lbs.

doc daid my first goal is to lose 10%, then he smiled and said 'not 40 lbs, but 39 lbs !) ( I just smiled thru my tears and said thanks b***h (you have to know my doc (smile) he is the only doc I have ever had who first gives you a BIG hug from the heart, I know this man cares....

oh- and when he walked in he had just heard another (female) patient had JUST had her lap band done! (in another state) a nice omen?

I know I can give up the soda(s), used to study with a Shaman (long story) and gave up caffeine a few times (god the withdrawal headaches are rough tho!!!)

and I can't believe the prices on sodas! 2 liters were a dollar 8 months ago, today it was $1.99.... been slowing changing to caff free tea (but love my diet pepsi in the AM)

I too am a coke addict, a diet coke addict, it's the one thing I have the hardest time giving up. My surgery is Dec 1st, I am slowly weening off the diet coke and should be off it completely and forever by weeks end. As ridiculous as it sounds, you're not the only one. It's crazy how much we let food or drinks prevent us from becoming so much more. But no more!!

I too am a coke addict, a diet coke addict, it's the one thing I have the hardest time giving up. My surgery is Dec 1st, I am slowly weening off the diet coke and should be off it completely and forever by weeks end. As ridiculous as it sounds, you're not the only one. It's crazy how much we let food or drinks prevent us from becoming so much more. But rs no more!!

OMG I am so proud of myself almost 48 hours no soda, no carbonation!!! It's crazy! I never thought possible! It's taking some adjustment to break the habit. I have to say I was sad yesterday. Just like a broke up with a bad boyfriend lol. When I quit smoking I remember always reaching for the lighter, then it would hit me that I no longer smoked. Last night I went to sit down for dinner, my first instinct was to reach for the two liter, then I realized those days are over! So ice tea it is. If I ever change my mind I guess I could have some flat soda but so far so good. I think no drinking with meals will be hard to break.

Good luck to you!!!

Pendulum i am so happy things are looking up for you - this is going to be great! all of us pre banders! LOL

Skinny - have you tried drinking seltzer with or without lemon? it might help ease you off the soda...whenever i go out to dinner i order it instead of soda -

p.s. im thinking of moving my surgery to january - i will have new insurance and i have so much going on in december i dont think that a week out of commision will work for me....ugh so confused!

Well I am really 'on the path' had a 'pre-appt' with my primary doc yesterday and just scheduled a pre-apt with the endocrinologist (so we are ALL on the same page before the consult with the lapband doc...)

wierdly freeing to just TYPE that.

I am also going to tell my store mgr what is going on (to 'head things off at the pass' and make me look more pro-active.

what were others situation(s) about telling work? I know this is a way off but.... I DO know my weight (and screwed up endo system have affected my work performance (tired-er, sleepier, grumpier, etc)

im not telling my job - i want to keep this quiet. however, i obviously did tell my office manager i needed to have a minor surgery taken care of so im going to be needing a week off as well as a day here and there for appointments and what not...its no ones business...but, i am lucky because i am a girl and if anyone asks me i can just say "im having some female things taken care of" LOL

One thing my doc said yesterday I need to remember- my diabetes affects ALL area of my life, at this point I am headed nowhere. The diabetes and other things are NOT under control, after a year not much better. Will that shorten my life drastically- oh yeah (and heck, no sex life for 2 years sucks a lot of whats left joy out of it....)

I believe him (and me) that the lapband WILL radically change my life for the better (and quite possibly SAVE my life).

So....appt with the endo tomorrow and full steam ahead! Dec 1st will be here soon....

Well I LOVE seltzer but we can't have carbonation at all so it has to be done. I was having serious withdrawls today! But I had gatorade instead. I did go out and buy Mio (at Target) sweet tea flavor...SOOOOOOOO good. You squirt it into water and it takes like sweetened brewed sweet tea.

As for your surgery. I had the same issue with moving it to January, mainy because of financial reasons. Right now my date is tentatively for 12/19 but I am going with the flow, if it happens sooner or later I am not going to get upset. as far as the money I will make it happen. That is why I paced my appointments.

FYI I was told that since I work behind a desk (weekends only) I would be able to go back to work 4-5 days. Maybe you can do the surgery on a Friday or something. Just an idea.

Pendulum i am so happy things are looking up for you - this is going to be great! all of us pre banders! LOL

Skinny - have you tried drinking seltzer with or without lemon? it might help ease you off the soda...whenever i go out to dinner i order it instead of soda -

p.s. im thinking of moving my surgery to january - i will have new insurance and i have so much going on in december i dont think that a week out of commision will work for me....ugh so confused!