It's gonna be a tough weekend. Today is a birthday party for my nephew. No one there knows about my surgery, it'll be hard to pretend I'm eating, that's my plan. I am going to have probably a hamburger without a bun, small pieces chewed well and a little potato salad. That is the plan, hope it works. I am 3weeks out, btw.

Then tomorrow is our family picnic we have every memorial day, all my aunts uncles, cousins. I just don't want people judging me. I feel like if you don't lose a ton, people will talk, oh she even had surgery and couldn't lose. And if I lose big, which is my plan, they'll say, oh she had to have surgery to get the weight off. It's hard for me I think because in my extend family of about 100 people I can only count on one hand the people who need to lose weight. They certainly wouldn't understand. The ironic thing is, I told everyone at work, and I don't even really like those people. Heehee!

So anyway, tomorrows picnic is all about the food, tables and tables, and every other year, it's been just eating til you can't eat another bite and then waiting an hour and eating more. I am more scared for that. I am thinking of making a tace salad, extra meat to share, and just trying to keep busy, walking, or something. I'm almost thinking that well just leave early if I feel it's the only way out.

Anyone else facing some parties or picnics this weekend, and how are you planning on handling them? How have you handled parties in the past?

Hi there, my sons 9th bday party is today, and I just left the grocery store from picking up the cupcakes! Im sorry that family can be such a pain sometimes. I havent told any of my extended family, just my mom, sisters and of course my hubby. I dont think that either of these parties are gonna be as bad as you think. The kids party today is all about the kid. It seems like you are gonna be spotlighted because of your eating habits, because to you, thats all that really matters right now because you are working so hard, but Im 99% sure that no one will notice if you just pick at your food, and if anyone does, just say that you had a big dinner last night or a huge Breakfast and just aren't hungry yet. And if you do have a small slice of cake or a cup cake, dont beat yourself up over it. Enjoy it, and move on.

As for the famly picnic, if it really is a food-fest, then everyone is gonna be so consumed with their own grub, that no one will notice that you arent pigging out too! Same goes with the good food for tomorrow, eat until you are satisfied, maybe enjoy a small bite or your favorite things and then throw it away. Keep drinking Water and tea, and other diet drinks, and that will keep you from eating too much!

I promise you, this is a bigger deal to you, because you are keeping the secret, than it is to anyone else, Remember, those who matter dont mind, and those who mind dont matter.

As for the judgemental gossip, you dont have to tell anyone anything you dont want to!! If they ask how you did so wonderful and dropped so much weight, simply tell them diet and exercise...its true right? Your just leaving out the help. People judge over everything, especially family. Its always gonna be something. Just enjoy these next few days, and hang in there, you are gonna be so skinny soon, that they will have to gossip, because they will all be envious!

Like Shrinky said...you'll be amazed how little people pay attention to how much you eat at family functions. I normally put a spoonful of whatever I want on my plate and then take small bites and move the food around on my plate...it makes it look like you ate more than you actually did.

People are going to gossip regardless... because of jealousy and protruding their own thoughts as to how they would handle whats going on.

It is yours and only your decision to have the surgery, I have told everyone and have the people that are excited for me and those that think it is a bad idea. Again I have to remind myself this is for me and me alone.. I am honored to be the gossip of others.. Haha

I had a BBQ at my house and threw my sister a baby shower during my 2 week pre op liquid diet. People said they felt sorry for me that I couldn't eat and wasn't it so hard on me. I constantly reminded myself and still remind myself - this is for me and me alone, my choice and you either support me or you don't. I am still the same person and doing what is best for me.

Regardless of who you tell - it is no ones business but yours on what you eat at a bbq. There will be gossip when you are rocking your new body like a rock star.. lift your head and smile big.. You have done what is best for you!!

Thanks for all the kind words and support! Party #1 went really, my plan worked pretty well. I had some potato salad and beans with meat in them. Both were yummy. I had a few bites of an italian sausage too, everything went down well. Yay! I chewed the stuff out of the Italian sausage as my dietitian puts it. I will find a few band friendly things to nibble on for sure tomorrow.

Hi ! Wow ! I ne er REalky thought about what other people would think when I was out . I haven't been banded yet and I plan in keeping it a secret . besides my fiancée , no one will know . I think if I pug a initial

Portion on my plate then just play it or talk alot I can cover it up

. Hopefully !!!! My family is Italin !!! Thus is gonn be hard !! Lol

Me , I am calling this my cheat weekend , I got banded on Jan 28 ( 263) , now I weigh 208 , I been good since the start , but now I am really starting to crave things , so I made this weekend to eat what I want and don't worry about carbs , calories , or anything ,we had two party's to go to on sat and a family picnic on Sunday , the funny part is it is Saturday I ate , whatever I wanted and relized that I barely ate as much as I thought I would , so I am hoping the picnic will go all well , and monday back to reality

Hello,

I was banded on May 5th, but I spent about two years deciding if I should do it. I had all the that stuff going through my head....I am a failure, because I can't just do it myself, people are going to judge me.....blaa blaa blaa blaa. Then I started thinking about why I wanted to get the lap band....I am 42, 246 at start 214 now and have been heavy all my life with the exception of about 4 times when I lost it all...only of course to gain it all back and then some. I have back problems, and basically my whole body hurts, I miss out on life because I don't do things cause I can't. I knew I looked forward to a short life with many medical problems and getting to be that fat Aunt in the flowery moo moo that sits in the corner because she can't do anything else. I also have a 7 year old who deserved better than what I am able to give her. Ok.. now that sounds like a pretty good reason to get the band....who can argue with that...I mean REALLY who could argue or judge me for wanted to have a better healthier life for ME and my family. So the guilt of why couldn't I just stop eating....just do it...the judgement of "she had to have surgery to lose weight". Of all the people who lose a significant amount of weight a full 95% will gain it back within 5 years...95%!!!! That means of 100 people who "just stop eating...exercise and just do it" only 5 will keep the weight off...so really is it failure???? Why would we think we were failures when 95% of people are not able to be successful? Do you think that those others are "failures", no so why are we so hard on ourselves about it?

So at first I only told a few people who I knew would be supportive and then I told everyone, fellow colleagues, friends, strangers (kidding not strangers) and I said it in a way that I was excited and that I had made a GREAT decision to have the surgery and how much I looked forward to feeling better etc. so how could they say anything but "oh good for you". And you know what anyone who has talked behind my back in judgement would have been talking about me behind my back anyway about how fat I am and what I put in my mouth that day anyway! So why would I care what they thought....they are only talking about me because it is away for them to feel better about themselves because they do not feel good about themselves and at least they can say ya but she is fat..... It is not about me it is about them and how they feel about themselves, if I had lost the weight by "just doing it" they would probably come up with something else to say about me. Remember those who really care about you will be happy for you.

Be proud of yourself you made a hard life changing decision to take control of your health you deserve to feel great and excited about it!!!!!

As we know the band is not the easy way out it is just a tool to help with weight loss we still have to eat right and exercise.

Cheers,

Tamie

Hello,

I was banded on May 5th, but I spent about two years deciding if I should do it. I had all the that stuff going through my head....I am a failure, because I can't just do it myself, people are going to judge me.....blaa blaa blaa blaa. Then I started thinking about why I wanted to get the lap band....I am 42, 246 at start 214 now and have been heavy all my life with the exception of about 4 times when I lost it all...only of course to gain it all back and then some. I have back problems, and basically my whole body hurts, I miss out on life because I don't do things cause I can't. I knew I looked forward to a short life with many medical problems and getting to be that fat Aunt in the flowery moo moo that sits in the corner because she can't do anything else. I also have a 7 year old who deserved better than what I am able to give her. Ok.. now that sounds like a pretty good reason to get the band....who can argue with that...I mean REALLY who could argue or judge me for wanted to have a better healthier life for ME and my family. So the guilt of why couldn't I just stop eating....just do it...the judgement of "she had to have surgery to lose weight". Of all the people who lose a significant amount of weight a full 95% will gain it back within 5 years...95%!!!! That means of 100 people who "just stop eating...exercise and just do it" only 5 will keep the weight off...so really is it failure???? Why would we think we were failures when 95% of people are not able to be successful? Do you think that those others are "failures", no so why are we so hard on ourselves about it?

So at first I only told a few people who I knew would be supportive and then I told everyone, fellow colleagues, friends, strangers (kidding not strangers) and I said it in a way that I was excited and that I had made a GREAT decision to have the surgery and how much I looked forward to feeling better etc. so how could they say anything but "oh good for you". And you know what anyone who has talked behind my back in judgement would have been talking about me behind my back anyway about how fat I am and what I put in my mouth that day anyway! So why would I care what they thought....they are only talking about me because it is away for them to feel better about themselves because they do not feel good about themselves and at least they can say ya but she is fat..... It is not about me it is about them and how they feel about themselves, if I had lost the weight by "just doing it" they would probably come up with something else to say about me. Remember those who really care about you will be happy for you.

Be proud of yourself you made hard life changing decision to take control of your health you deserve to feel great and excited about it!!!!!

As we know the band is not the easy way out it is just a tool to help with weight loss we still have to eat right and exercise.

Cheers,

Tamie